


A New Reality

by Stranger_Lumax



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Lucas and Max are very mature for their age, Mostly takes place in a forest, Rated For Violence, This story is gonna be really sad but the ending will be worth it, Troy is a sexist pig
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 62,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27888040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stranger_Lumax/pseuds/Stranger_Lumax
Summary: Murkshore isn’t like other settlements. They always take the boys away, starting at their eighth birthday and even sometimes before. Max is the exception. Not only have her dad, her stepdad and Billy been taken in to recruitment, but her mom too. She’s scared, and alone, but when a mysterious boy finds her she allows herself to believe she’ll always have him, until he’s taken from her life too.Ten years later she’s running, with a new companion, and they’re being hunted, constantly. They believe there’s other settlements out there, and after an incident at the river, that maybe some of the men from Murkshore are really on their side.
Relationships: Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair, Maxine “Max” Mayfeild/Nate Walker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	1. Ten Years

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry this is so unnecessarily long I promise not all the chapters will be like this.

Max didn’t usually cry, but she was smart enough, even at six years old, to realize that she was an orphan now. 

Her mind was swimming with more thoughts than she thought capable, some overlapping others and making her feel dizzy. 

It had only been ten minutes since the mysterious men in the hazmat suits had stormed into her living quarters, dragging her mom away with them while Max panicked like the little kid she was. She still didn’t understand. They shouldn’t have even taken her mom, they’d only ever taken the boys.

This time was different from when they’d taken her dad, and then her stepdad after her mom had remarried and then Billy. 

It had involved even more violence. The calmest she’d seen the guards be was when they took her dad, and he’d told her it was all fine, that he loved her, before following them out the door with his hands cuffed behind his back. 

Then her mom had moved on, way too quickly. Neil put up a fight when they took him, but Max knew Billy, like her, had been secretly relieved when he’d disappeared from their lives. Neil hurt him more than he hurt her, and Billy took his anger out on her all the time. 

When they’d taken Billy he’d begged her mom to stop them, but she’d just turned around and ushered Max towards the bathroom to get ready for bed. She still heard Billy begging sometimes. He’d only just barely turned nine, almost exactly a year after his birthday. She’d been four, just a few months before her fifth birthday, she couldn’t stop them. 

Still, this time had been worse. She’d never seen them actually use the tasers strapped on their belts until tonight, and she never wanted to see something like that ever again. 

Now, as she sat alone on the single bed, her back pressed against the wall and her knees pulled close to her chest, all she could do was notice more and more about her home and try to think about what it would be like to survive on her own. 

The imprints of the men’s boots were still visible on the dirt floor, and dinner was still only half made on the counter in their makeshift kitchen, a single sink and a mini fridge. Wind seemed to find its way into the room, even through the concrete walls. 

Everything about their home seemed that they were living in a tent with the bare minimum, except for the fact that the front door was three feet of solid steel, the only way in or out, and when opened it led into a hallway that took her anywhere and everywhere in their little village, but at the same time locked her away from all of it when necessary. 

The tears ran numbly down her cheeks without any control as she thought about her mom, and how she wasn’t going to be coming back home this time. She knew she had to grow up, learn to take care of herself, but she didn’t  _ want _ to. 

She wished she could’ve been the kid that still cuddled with her mom so that she could fall asleep at night, or at least hug her when she was sad or scared, but it was too late to start. She was all alone now, and no one was here to hug her, or comfort her in any way. The worst part was knowing that no one would come. 

She was shaking from fear now, the adrenaline from before wearing off completely. She’d tried to listen when her mom told her to be brave, to be a big kid, she really had, but as soon as that door had closed, locking her inside, she’d forgotten everything she’d ever lived by. She couldn’t help it. 

She was scared. 

The voice of her better self kept telling her that any second the men would come back and take her away too. 

As if her mind was playing tricks on her, the door suddenly opened, and she flinched, hugging her knees tighter as she tried to hold back the choked sob already falling from her lips. 

It wasn’t one of the bad men. As far as she could tell through her blurry vision it was a boy, a boy about her age by the look of it. He was wearing a t-shirt with details that she couldn’t identify, with cargo shorts and worn-out tennis shoes. His skin was the color of melted chocolate, and his hair was cut into a black, curly, short cropped ‘fro. 

“Hey!” The boy said brightly, skipping over to the edge of the bed, the big metal door screaming shut behind him. Max just stared back at him, tears still building in her eyes even though she wasn’t crying them, because now her emotions were replaced with a confusion that was greater than her fear. 

After a moment of silence the boy seemed to notice something was wrong, and crawled onto the bed to kneel down in front of her. 

“Why’re you crying?” He asked, his voice so incredibly gentle for a six year old. She didn’t trust him. Why was he here? She’d never seen him before, not at the playground or even around the market. 

The boy shifted uncomfortably when she didn’t answer him. “Um...what’s your name?” He asked, approaching her from a different angle. It would take her a while to notice how good he was at that, but in the moment she couldn’t concentrate on anything else but how suspicious she was of him. 

“Max.” She said shortly. 

“I like that name.” He beamed. Max felt an involuntary smile tug at the corners of her lips, her feelings about him slowly but surely changing. 

“What’s yours?” 

“Lucas Charles Sinclair.” He said proudly, puffing out his chest. 

“Where’s your family?” His expression changed, not to sadness, but confusion as he thought. 

“I don’t know.” He said finally. “I don’t remember.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“That’s ok!” He said brightly, scooting a little closer to her. “I have you now.” 

“You'll be my friend?” She wasn’t sure what made her say it, maybe that she just didn’t want to be alone right now, or maybe because he just seemed different than the other boys that were mean to her for liking what they did more than jump rope and hopscotch, but whatever the reason, she looked up at him desperately, hoping against hope that he’d say yes. 

“Yeah!” He beamed. “I’ll be your  _ best _ friend.” Max smiled, actually smiled, but that happiness was quickly replaced by guilt. Even with this boy here it didn’t take away the pain of her mom being taken away from her just like the rest of her family had been. 

She’d never imagined she’d truly be alone, because even when her dad and Billy and even Neil were gone, she’d always expected her mom to be there with her, just like everyone else’s mom. What had changed that they suddenly had to take her too? After everything that had happened to her why couldn’t they just understand that she was just a  _ kid, _ and needed  _ someone _ to take care of her and love her?

Tears started to fall down her cheeks again and she turned away from Lucas, her breath catching. She didn’t even really know him that well and she still felt like she needed to be tough like she did with everyone else, it was expected of her, especially now that she was alone. She had to learn how to handle disappointment. Crying wasn’t exactly a great first impression, but it was getting harder not to the longer she sat here. 

“What-what's wrong? What did I do?” Lucas asked as he reached out for her, pulling back before he could even touch her, starting to freak out while at the same time trying to stop whatever was making her cry. 

“It’s not your fault.” She tried to assure him, burying her face in her arms. “They-they took my mom...the bad men. They took her.” Hearing the words out loud scared her even more, panic rising in her chest. 

Lucas let out a small “oh”, slumping back against his feet a little awkwardly, like he didn’t know how to help her. “When did they take her?” 

“Just barely, before you came in.” She managed, her breath catching halfway through. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. Max nodded, but continued to cry without having any control. She hated it, it made her feel powerless, but her stomach felt unnecessarily empty with all the fear and anxiety and she couldn’t manage by herself. If Lucas was like any of the other boys he’d have this to use against her when trying to prove she was weak, but he didn’t make fun of her, or tell her to stop being a baby, instead he sat with her in silence, his presence more comforting than anything. 

“It’s okay.” He said after a while, sitting up again and patting her arm, seemingly finding enough confidence to use physical contact. “We can be each other’s family now.” She looked up at him, her eyes red and puffy, but hopeful. 

“Promise?” 

“I promise.” It was only two words, but he said them with such confidence Max had no choice but to believe him. 

She found herself uncurling from her little ball, reaching out for him. When he hugged her she never wanted to let him go. She felt a sudden, almost instant connection with him that she’d never felt with anyone else ever before. Even before her mom had been taken she’d been craving for someone to show her any sign of affection, that they cared about her, because when Billy had been taken it had left her feeling empty, and scared, and she struggled to be brave when her mom acted as if everything was the same with him gone, like her life was normal. But now, as she squeezed Lucas impossibly tighter, her tears soaking into the fabric of his t-shirt as he held her, she felt loved for the first time in a long time. 

_ 1 Year Later _

Lucas used all his weight to open the front door, bracing his feet against the concrete and pushing his shoulder against the heavy metal just enough for him to squeeze through.

“Max!” He called, tossing his backpack onto the single bed next to her open and abandoned one as the door closed behind him with a defined click. “I’m back.” 

“You’re  _ late.” _ Max corrected, emerging from the hallway that led to the bathroom, her arms folded across her chest. She was dressed in one of the old zip ups he’d grown out of since hers were getting too small, her blue jeans almost too worn to wear anymore, fading to gray. 

“Oh come on.” Lucas said, looking at his watch. She was struck with the realization that she’d never seen him take off, but she wouldn’t realize how important that was until he was gone. “Only by three minutes.” 

“You’re always home by  _ exactly _ five-seventeen.” She said, setting her jaw as she glared at him. He felt smaller and powerless under her glare, even though he was a few months older than her. 

“I know.” He said sheepishly, his face shielded by his hoodie and the dim light that lit their living space. Max was still eyeing him suspiciously. “What?”

“What were you doing?” 

“Nothing!” He objected, shrinking under the look of suspicion Max gave him. “I swear Max I didn’t—”

She moved before he could react, pulling his hood off his head and revealing the large, dark purplish bruise forming on the side of his face, clearly visible. 

She gave him a look mixed with disappointment and worry, making him drop his gaze. 

“Again?!” She exclaimed. “You said you wouldn’t get into any more fights!” He couldn’t remember what having a mom was like, or even if he’d ever had one, but he guessed Max was pretty close. 

“I know.” He said, hanging his head in shame. “But...but Troy was talking crap about you again and I just…” he risked looking up at her. She looked a lot older than seven with her hair tied up in a ponytail, he felt like he was talking to a more mature version of her, which didn’t seem at all possible. It made him wonder what she’d be like when they got older. 

He ran a hand through his hair, which had gotten considerably longer in the past year, letting out a frustrated groan when he couldn’t think of a decent excuse.

“I just started it. I didn’t even fight back.” He mumbled, hanging his head. 

“You don’t always need to protect me.” Max whispered. She sounded so scared, which wasn’t really like her. 

“Yes I do!” He argued. “You’re my family and family protects each other.” 

“Yes, but family also  _ sticks together. _ What if they would’ve taken you?” 

“They can’t yet.” 

“Other boys have been taken before their eighth birthday, Lucas!” He locked eyes with her, seeing the panic shining clearly inside them. He was struck with the thought that if today had gone differently, he probably never would’ve been  _ able _ to see her grow up alongside him. 

“Lucas do you know what they would do to you if they found out how powerful you actually are compared to—?”

“It won’t happen again.” He said quickly, and he meant it. “I promise.”

The significance of a promise was what had solidified the relationship between the two of them. For a year they'd been using the word with the most serious of things between them, like not letting anyone else know they were orphans, just in case someone tried to separate them. 

Promising meant you couldn’t go back on your word, and if you did, you broke the family trust, meaning you weren’t family anymore. They  _ knew _ it was extreme, but it only made them want to keep the promises they made to each other even more. 

“Good.” She finally said after a second, her expressions relaxing as she reached a hand out to ruffle his hair.

“I'll cut your hair after dinner if you want me to.” Lucas smiled, nodding enthusiastically. 

“Just on the sides, like you did before.” 

“Ok. But you should probably put an ice pack on that.” She teased, even so her voice gentle underneath as she gestured to the side of his face. 

“Oh, yeah…” he said, his hand hovering over his face without actually touching it, having momentarily forgotten about the bruise and the headache it was creating. Max moved toward the small ice box before he could register it, pulling out a bag of frozen peas that had been in there since forever, always used for injuries and nothing else. 

She grabbed the towel off the counter, wrapping it around the bag as she made her way over to him, gently pressing it against his cheek when she reached him. He flinched at how cold it was against his burning skin, then started to relax, taking the bag from Max’s hands and holding it himself. 

His headache was receding, just a little, and now that he was home he didn’t feel as lightheaded or ashamed. 

“Better?” Max asked after a moment. He smiled at her, nodding. 

“Good.” She said, returning the smile. “Now what should we make for dinner?” 

“Oh, I know!” He exclaimed excitedly, grabbing her hand and dragging her toward the kitchen. “Tonight, I’ll teach you to make spaghetti.” 

  
  


“And...for a...mom-ent...he was s-st-ste…” Lucas sat up from the pillows, crawling to the foot of the bed to hold the book up to Max, pointing at the word. 

“What’s that say?” She looked up from her sketchbook, where she was drawing what looked like a picture of him reading. Lucas had come to find Max could draw just about anyone and  _ anything _ realistically from memory. That’s how he knew she looked more like her mom than her dad, and that he’d seen Billy before, before he’d been taken, at school playing basketball with the other older boys. 

She could easily draw the landscapes described in his books, pulling him deeper into their worlds when he wanted to escape his own. 

“Stymied.” Max said after a moment, reaching up to wipe a loose hair off the side of his forehead, leftover from his haircut. There was still a pile on the floor around the empty stool where he’d sat when she cut it, but he’d promised to sweep it up after he read a few pages of his story. “It means ‘stopped his progress’.” 

“Oh, ok.” Lucas said, laying on his stomach next to her and turning back to the book. He was reading  _ Hatchet  _ by Gary Paulsen, one of the many books Max had given to him on his seventh birthday, thanks to her mom's untouched possessions hidden under the bed in a box. 

Thanks to her he’d progressed a lot with his reading and writing in the past year, but he’d had to keep it a secret from everyone else, relying solely on Max to be happy for him when he started to get faster or learn a new word. 

There were two schools in their ‘village’, as the two of them liked to call it, though it’s real name was Murkshore. 

There was the one the girls went to, which was like every other public school ever in existence, where they learned to read and write and sew and do math, and then there was the boys’ school: the Survival Skills School. 

At Survival Skills, everything was different from the girls school. For one, they were never in a building, except for when they were looking at maps on the projector, and they had to shove all one hundred or so boys into a small room about the same size as their living quarters. 

There was a large gazebo-type roof that stretched across the whole schoolyard, giving them minimal shade but proving useful for when they had to put out a fire quickly. 

There were constantly guards set up around the perimeter, watching the boys to see who was the most talented in their lessons, who could build and start a fire the fastest, or who could chop the logs most efficiently. Those boys always disappeared as soon as it was possible, usually after their eighth birthday, because that’s when the guards really started to watch them, but sometimes before, and Lucas was smart enough to know they went with the crazy men that had taken Max’s family. 

His birthday was only a few months away, and he knew they were keeping a closer eye on him and the other boys about to hit the same milestone. 

The boys were sent to be tested, the teachers told them, but none could tell them what they were being tested  _ for. _ Frankly he didn’t want to know. He’d never seen a guard around town square that was his age, and he didn’t want to know where they ended up. 

Most of the boys in his class strived to be one of the kids picked, especially  _ Troy, _ who was only older than him by two months, but was built and acted like he was at least twelve. 

Lucas purposely laid low, acting like he didn’t know how to read the chalk diagrams and maps drawn on the board when they called his name, or pretending to be confused with the fire starting, when in reality, he was the best in their class.

He was the strongest, by far, but he didn’t let it show, wearing baggier clothes to hide his sturdy build. He knew all the skills ten times better than everyone, because he had paid close attention and re-taught them to Max in exchange for her helping him with his reading. He was the most observant, he noticed who the armed men set up around his school were watching, and sometimes they were his friends, but he had to keep his mouth shut if he wanted to keep Max, his  _ best  _ friend, his  _ family.  _ Compared to her no one else really mattered. 

He got bullied a lot for seemingly being so stupid, mostly by Troy, and it was getting to be very annoying. All he wanted was to show how strong and skilled he actually was, but he knew that wasn’t an option. Still, he hadn’t meant to punch the kid, he really hadn’t, but the way Troy even said Max’s  _ name _ made his blood boil. 

“She thinks she can do what the boys do.” Troy had said as they walked outside, the ringing of the final bell echoing around the fenced off courtyard. The sun started to beat down on them almost instantly as they stepped out of the shade, making Lucas sweat under his white dress shirt. 

Max had insisted on playing soccer with them all after dinner in the abandoned field the night before, and after Troy had to physically force her to leave it was all the boys had talked about. 

Lucas still felt guilty for not standing up for her, especially after she’d been shoved, but when she’d caught his eye from across the field, she shook her head, just slightly, signaling him to leave it alone as she sulked back to their living quarters. 

He’d stayed an extra hour just so it didn’t seem suspicious following her back, but when he’d gotten home she’d seemed quieter than usual, hurt. 

She didn’t show him what she was drawing, though he caught a glance of what looked like her mom. Sometimes she had those days, where things seemed to hit her harder, and the only way to make it better was drawing out her feelings. 

He’d kept quiet, waiting for her to talk when she was ready, but she only whispered good night to him before falling asleep while he read his book at the opposite end of the bed, the covers pulled over her head, as if blocking her off from the cruel reality of the real, outside world. Lucas knew it wasn’t his fault, but he still had wanted to help her. She’d already had so much taken from her, and all he wanted to do was protect her from anymore hurting. 

Troy’s words suddenly caught up to him, making his ears burn. 

_ “She can do what we can.” _ He almost retorted, pulling himself back into the present, but he bit his tongue, holding himself back.

“What’s wrong with that?” He asked instead, sounding truly curious. A few of the older boys gave him a weird look, a couple others rolling their eyes as if he asked the question daily. 

“What’s wrong with that?” Troy scoffed. “The girl’s job is to stay at home, make my food and do the dishes afterwards.” A couple of the boys surrounding Troy laughed, and Lucas felt his cheeks heat up along with his ears. He held back the urge to tell them that at home,  _ he _ was the one that made dinner, and he  _ helped _ Max do dishes afterwards. The girls didn’t  _ have  _ to do anything, in fact, Max was probably already better with the skills he’d taught her than Troy was. 

She was a fast learner. 

“But...boys can do that too right?”

“Well obviously.” Troy said. “We could do it a hundred times better, but we need them to have a  _ reason _ to feel like they actually have a purpose here.” Lucas felt a chill run through his body, quickly morphing into a burning fire, making him see red. No one was allowed to degrade his best friend. 

“But...she doesn’t have any siblings or anything, what if she just wanted to play?” He asked calmly, trying to stay inconspicuous about Max’s home life. 

Troy scoffed. “So? She can go play with her dolls or something.” Lucas knew if he would’ve had half a brain Troy would’ve seen that Max wasn’t the type of person to own any dolls, and she didn’t. She did have a teddy bear, however, but she never seemed to use it when he was around, except for the bad nights, where he’d wake up in the middle of the night to find her asleep, clutching it close to her chest as she shivered under either from fear or the cold night air seeping through the cracks in the wall. By morning the bear would be gone, as if it never existed. 

Max never told him about whatever it was that was happening, but it wasn’t hard to figure it out. Even with him around Max felt abandoned, he knew she did, because he did too. 

“Alone?” 

“Duh.” Troy said, knocking Lucas off balance as he nudged his shoulder roughly against his. He stumbled, rolling his eyes as he tried to keep his cool. 

“Ooooh, I forgot,” Troy said innocently. “You’ve got a weird thing going with that little redhead girl don’t you?” 

“No.” He muttered, continuing to walk. He kept his eyes glued on his feet, the black Converse material dusty and starting to wear thin from overuse. He knew he’d get a new pair if he asked, but he’d already gotten a new one a few weeks ago, which he’d given to Max, because hers had literally fallen apart, and she didn’t want to wear the flats they gave out at the girls school. Asking again so soon would be suspicious. 

“You don’t?” Troy said in mock interest, as if he actually cared about Lucas in any way, shape or form. “Then you won’t care if I push her around a little, teach her not to mess with the boys?” A couple of Troy's friends laughed, giving him high fives for absolutely no reason. 

“Don’t be a jerk.” Lucas said, stepping in front of him and stopping their pace, the surrounding boys eyeing him suspiciously.

“That’s my speciality isn’t it?” Troy asked, spreading his hands out wide. The boys around him laughed again. 

“You heard about her family.” Lucas continued. “She’s just trying to be a normal kid.” 

“So I should just treat her like the little snowflake she is, huh?” 

“She’s not a snowflake!” Lucas yelled, his hands involuntary curling into fists as he looked up at the older boy. 

“What’s wrong Sinclair? Did I touch a nerve?” Lucas didn’t answer, glaring up at him. “You wanna do your girlfriend’s jobs instead? Is that it?” 

“She’s not my girlfriend—” Lucas started, but Troy clearly had no intention of listening to him. 

“You’d probably be better at it,” he continued, turning to the boys around him as he did, all of them starting to get into it now. “Reading books or something else that’s just as useless. Oh, I know. Maybe you two could switch schools, then she’d get taken away just like the rest of her pathetic family for doing better—” 

Lucas fist had hit him before he’d even finished. The crowd surrounding them went silent, a few of the boys surrounding Troy took a step back, surprised to see this side of Lucas. 

“You just hit me, Sinclair?” Troy asked, splitting blood into the dirt, a fire burning in his eyes. Lucas stared back at him, standing his ground. 

Troy growled, lunging for him. Lucas suddenly remembered what Max had said about not letting others know he could fight, but not in time for him to side step Troy’s tackle and sending the boy stumbling face first into the dirt. 

He was  _ hoping  _ that  _ somebody _ would make it stop, but the guards were just watching, looking cool in their black guard jackets, their guns at their side and their black motorcycle helmets glinting in the sunlight, as if waiting to see who would win this fight. 

Lucas swallowed. Either he could get  _ beat up  _ and Max would be relieved he hadn’t fought back or, he could fight back, risk being taken away and at best have to face Max, who would be pissed. It wasn’t really a contest. 

Troy growled as he lunged again, catching him off guard as he tackled his legs out from under him, his head hitting the ground below him hard enough to make his ears start ringing _.  _ Troy punched him in the stomach, once then twice then too many times for him to count. He could feel himself blacking out, the voices of the boys around him getting fuzzier and further away with each hit. He vaguely felt himself trying to push Troy away and received a blow to the face, followed by two more, but his strength was slowly dissipating as Troy pinned him deeper and deeper into the dirt. 

Finally, after what seemed like forever, one of the guards pulled Troy away, and ordered everyone else to leave. The boys all scattered, some giving Troy various forms of high fives and fist bumps as they made their way out of the gate of the school grounds. 

“—showed him—” Lucas caught Troy saying. “—like the little girl he is—” 

The guard that had pulled Troy away kneeled down next to Lucas, helping him sit up as the younger boy clutched his stomach, groaning in pain. 

“You ok there?” Lucas opened his mouth to answer, instead bending over and puking in the dirt, his stomach already feeling empty as he lurched forward. His ears were ringing, and the buzzing pressure behind his eyes was almost too much to handle. 

“No.” His voice wavered, and he tried hard not to cry, because really, who would be okay at seven years old after getting pummeled into the ground by someone bigger than you for a solid ten minutes? He had just wanted to defend Max, just wanted to protect her after all she’d done for him, and none of the guards had tried to stop it when he’d first been hit, they’d just let it happen. 

“Cmon kid. I know you could’ve fought back.” The guard whispered under his helmet. He sounded like he was just barely a teenager, but his stature under his skin tight suit said otherwise. 

Lucas shook his head, resting it against his knees, feeling just a little light headed at the movement. “I can’t fight.” He lied. 

The older boy laughed. “I know you can. I won’t tell anyone. Don’t worry. Just…take care of Max for me. Ok?” Lucas’ eyes widened, completely stunned, but he didn’t look up so that he wouldn’t give anything away. When he didn’t answer, the older boy patted his shoulder and retook his place at his guard post, leaving Lucas to struggle to his feet by himself. 

“What’re you thinking about?” Max asked, breaking Lucas out of his thoughts. He’d been staring at the same page blankly for almost five minutes. 

“Nothing.” 

“You’re lying. You’re a terrible liar.” He was. He knew he was, but only with her. Anyone else he could get to believe him. 

Lucas sighed, putting his bookmark in the last page he’d finished and sitting up. He scooted back until he was sitting beside her, his back against the wall and their shoulders pressed together. 

“Just...the fight earlier. I didn’t fight back but, now I’m starting to think...I don’t know...maybe I should’ve?” 

“Lucas are you crazy?” She laughed. “If you fought back I might’ve never seen you again.” 

“I know but, Troy isn’t going to stop. Maybe if I had fought back he’d have learned his lesson. He’d learn to leave you alone, even if I’m gone.” 

“Troy will  _ never  _ learn his lesson. I don’t care what he says about me, and neither should you. Not fighting back was the right thing to do. I know it hurts and it sucked but it’s better than disappearing. Right?” 

At first he didn’t answer, and Max closed her pencil in her sketchbook, turning towards him. 

“Right?” She asked again. This time Lucas nodded, agreeing with her. 

“Yeah.” He whispered. “You’re right. I’m...not thinking clearly.”

She watched him suspiciously as he fingered the hem of his shirt, his gaze focused on his book at his feet. He hadn’t said anything about how much he was hurting, but she kept catching him clutching his stomach like he was about to puke, slightly out of breath every time. 

“Let me see.” She said gently, reaching for his shirt. 

“No. I’m fine.” He said, pulling away from her hand.

“Lucas.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“You’re not fine. You’re hurt.” 

“I’m a  _ boy, _ Max! I can handle myself!” She shrunk back from him, her expression pained. He’d never yelled at her before, never had gotten mad. And he  _ never _ had tried to prove superiority over her just because she was a  _ girl. _ He wasn’t like that, never had been, which meant someone had hurt him so badly he didn’t have anyone else to release the anger on, and nowhere to hold it all in. 

“I-I’m sorry.” He said immediately, his voice pained with regret. “I...Max I didn’t mean—”

“I know.” She said quietly, playing with her pajama shirt sleeve. “You’re just frustrated.”

“With Troy.” He clarified quickly. “Not you. I’m just...I’m sick of pretending I’m worthless, of being just a stupid little boy that can’t do his job just so I can live a somewhat normal life.” 

“You’re not worthless.” Max said firmly. 

“It sure feels like it sometimes.” He looked down at his hands in his lap, swallowing down the lump in his throat. 

“Do you ever…” he could feel Max’s eyes on him, waiting for him to continue. “...ever wonder where they go?” He looked up at her, her eyebrows pressing together in confusion. 

“Who?” 

“The boys...your mom.” He let out a breath. “My parents.” 

“Lucas.” Max moved closer, settling right in front of him and placing her hands on his knees. Her thumbs subconsciously rubbed small comforting circles through the fabric of his pants as she talked. 

“We don’t know where they went, or if we’ll  _ ever _ know, but we  _ do _ know that we  _ can’t _ lose each other. I can’t let them take you away from me too.” 

“I know.” 

“I need to know that you’ll come home everyday after school, that you won’t just...just disappear and I’ll never see you again.” 

“It won’t.” He said confidently. “I promise. No more fights.” She gave him a small, forced smile. 

“Promise me one more thing?” She asked. 

“What?” 

“If...if they do take you—or either one of us...for any reason...promise to say goodbye?” Lucas’ heart stopped. He didn’t want to imagine having to leave her, didn’t want to imagine what she’d go through after he was gone, how much Troy would hurt her, but she was avoiding his eyes, meaning she’d been thinking about it a lot, she was scared it would happen. He nodded, placing his hand on top of hers. She was shaking a little, tensing under his palm. 

“I promise.” Her smile relaxed, looking a little less forced, though still scared, even with her trying to hide it. 

“We should go to sleep.” He offered. She nodded, pulling away from him and standing up. It was only eight o’clock, but they were still kids, and both of them knew Max would be grumpy in the morning if they didn’t have a normal sleep schedule. 

“Yeah.” She agreed. “But you’ve gotta clean that up first.” He looked over at the pile of hair on the floor, groaning as he stood up and grabbed the broom from the corner. Sweeping a dirt floor was harder than you would think. 

Eventually, it looked pretty much back to the normal dirty floor, and he dumped the dustpan into the trash, wiping his feet on the carpet before climbing into the bed. 

“Goodnight.” Max whispered from her place at the foot of the bed, already half-asleep with her back to him. 

“Goodnight.” Lucas whispered back, settling against his pillow. He pulled his soft blue comforter over his shoulders, Max doing the same with her red one. Since there was only one bed they slept on opposite sides, with opposite blankets, their feet meeting in the middle so it wasn’t as crowded. Lucas turned off the lamp and settled into his side of the bed, and as his breathing evened out and the bed seemed to sink even more underneath her, Max felt everything start to fade away. 

_______________________________________

  
  


“Max.” She sat up quickly, too quickly, her vision going slightly blurry as she looked around at her surroundings, blinking as she tried to focus. She was in a cave, the  _ same _ cave she’d fallen asleep in last night after running for hours on end. 

The sun just barely peeking over the horizon and casting an orange glowing streak down the middle of the dying trees outside told her it was just barely morning. She wasn’t the same little kid she was all those years ago. 

Lucas was  _ gone. _ He had been for ten years now. It’d hurt her so much to escape from that terrible place without him, but she didn’t have much of a choice. 

“Hey.” She followed the hand on her arm and turned to face the boy that had woken her up. His mousy brown hair was a mess under the hood of his coat, and Max remembered hating it the first time she’d seen it. He was skinny, but Nate had always been small, ever since she’d met him when they were ten years old. 

It had taken her a whole year to trust him, to even let him  _ talk _ to her without blowing him off and just walking away. After Lucas she hadn’t trusted herself to care about anyone else, because the more she cared the more she had to lose. 

But after he’d sat with her and made her smile in an attempt to comfort her after he found her sitting alone at the village’s mandatory birthday celebration, she’d learned to crave his presence almost as much as she’d craved Lucas’s. 

Nate grew up along with her, not hitting his growth spurt until about a year ago, just before he’d turned 16, now he was just a few inches taller than her and still going. 

“Was it dreams again?” He asked. “About Murkshore?” She nodded. She’d been having them more and more often. It was a little creepy dreaming about your six/seven year old best friend who you hadn’t seen in ten years, but she didn’t feel weird talking to him about it. She told him everything. She trusted him more than anything. 

“Nightmares?” She shook her head, sitting up and climbing out of her sleeping bag without looking at him. 

“No, the first time I met him.” She said, her voice still groggy from sleep. 

“Oh.” Max started to roll up her sleeping bag, routinely checking the watch on her wrist without really reading the time. Maybe that’s why she’d been dreaming about him so much, but she’d been wearing his watch for ten years, so why now? 

“We should hurry.” She said, trying to push away her wandering thoughts. They had to move. “No doubt they’ve already got a trail.” 

“Don’t you get sick of it?” Nate asked, making no move to roll up his sleeping bag. 

“What?” 

“Running.” Max sighed, zipping up her coat. 

“Nate, can we talk about this later? We need to go.” She said, quickly strapping her sleeping bag to her pack 

“We’ve been running since we were  _ twelve, _ Max. Almost five years.” 

“And if we don’t hurry we won’t  _ make it _ to five. Cmon.” She said shortly, throwing her pack over her shoulder. She packed up her stuff without looking at him, feeling Nate’s eyes on her the whole time. 

He didn’t give in until she had turned her back to him, throwing her backpack over her shoulder and starting to walk out of the cave without caring to check if he was behind her or not. He quickly stood up and messily rolled up his own sleeping bag, strapping it to his pack and jogging her catch up to her, zipping up his coat and blowing into his hands at the dropping temperature at the front of the cave. 

Max stood in the open-mouthed entrance of solid rock, scanning their surroundings as she did. She’d been the best tracker in their village before they’d run away, and Nate was secretly grateful to have someone that knew what they were doing, because he had no idea what he was even supposed to be looking for. 

“All clear.” She whispered, leaving slowly in case she’d missed something, a trap or camouflaged sniper, but Nate had learned to trust her judgement, following her right out without any hesitation. She’d never missed anything. 

They hadn’t gone more than a couple hundred feet up the heavily forested hill when they heard voices, followed by an explosion. When they turned around to look back down through the trees, their cave was smoking, hordes of men in black suits and helmets swarming the area. 

“Told you.” Max whispered sadly, hoisting her backpack further up her shoulders and pulling her head over her head as she continued to climb the hill, Nate following along behind her without a word. 

_______________________________________

“Does anyone copy? This is Wheeler calling out for any defectors. I repeat. Does anyone copy?” Nate reached for the radio where it was sitting on the large bench-shaped rock where they were settled in the back of their new hideout, next to their campfire, but Max stopped him, grabbing his arm halfway. 

“It could be a trick.” She said. “If we answer they could track us.” 

“We don’t know anyone named Wheeler.” He pointed out. “Besides, if they wanted to track us all they’d have to do is look for the smoke.” He gestured to the fire, and then the hole carved into the ceiling of solid rock above them, where thick, dark gray smoke was filtering out into the darkened sky. 

Max hadn’t even wanted to start a fire, but Nate had made one against her will when she’d been shivering so much she couldn’t get up to stop him anyways. It was colder up here in the mountains, and her coat wasn’t holding much heat inside because of all the rips and tears from wearing it so long. 

“Max, we’ve been running for five years with no sense of direction.” Nate started, as if presenting a proposal. “You said there was a safe place somewhere out there. What if this is it? What if this is our chance to go home?” 

_ “We _ do not  _ have _ a home.” She said tightly, her expression looking eerily creepy in the firelight. She let go of his arm, her eyes trained on the flames as the shadows flickered across her face. 

“But it  _ could  _ be.” He said. She took another bite of the beef jerky Nate had given her, trying hard not to notice how scarily low their rations were getting, the plastic bag half sticking out of Nate’s open backpack where it lay on the dirt floor beside him. They hadn’t been able to hunt, and with winter coming they were seeing less and less animals for Nate to shoot. 

Maybe he did have a point. Eventually they’d run out of food, their shoes would be too worn to wear anymore and their clothes would get too beat up. They’d already had too many close calls with the Tracking Squad, and she was exhausted. Running at least six to eight miles a day over every possible terrain and in every possible weather condition was draining her more than she thought possible, and with less and less food to eat afterwards each time, she wasn’t sure she’d hardly have the energy to get herself up in the morning if Nate wasn’t here. It wasn’t just her life she had to protect. 

“Let’s just keep this channel on, listen to them for a couple days to see if we can decide if it’s a trick or not. Ok?” 

“If we hear  _ anything  _ about them trying to find us specifically, we forget about it.” 

“Ok.” He agreed. “Deal.” 

She glanced at him over the fire, suddenly struck with the realization of how much he’d changed in the last five years.

He wasn’t the same shy and nervous boy she’d planned escape routes with every night until curfew for a year in a last minute desperate attempt to find Lucas again before she left for good. 

He wasn’t the same anxious kid he’d been the night they’d run away, constantly looking over his shoulder every time he heard a noise in the dark forest, hoisting his backpack further up his shoulders and clutching the rifle in his hands tightly, sticking unnecessarily close to her side the longer the night went on, seemingly lasting forever. 

When the sun had come up the next morning neither of them had slept, but Nate had been to one to suggest they keep going, the sudden change in his confidence happening overnight. 

He was no longer afraid to talk back to her if he had to, the two of them equally as stubborn. 

He was basically a full grown man now, protective, brave and daring when he needed to be but still careful and observant in a way Max couldn’t quite grasp onto yet. He’d learned to make more calculated decisions before he acted on them, not only to benefit himself but her too. 

He was still growing, and not just mentally but physically. Not only was he now a foot and a half taller than when they’d left but he wasn’t as scrawny, his T-shirt’s were getting tighter around his shoulders and arms more and more everyday, and she tried not to notice how he was growing into his  _ looks _ more and more everyday. She kept noticing how defined the line of his jaw was when he would look around the forest, or how tan he was getting. His hair was getting lighter and longer than the neatly short cropped, always buzzed haircut his mom would give him once a month back at the village. 

Max had offered to cut it, but out of pure rebellion he’d let it grow just because he was free, and his mom couldn’t force him not to. It looked good on him, not too long but not too short, and especially when he pushed it back to put on his baseball cap—

She looked down at the watch on her wrist just so he wouldn’t catch her staring, the glowing green numbers telling her it was just past midnight. 

“I’ll take first watch.” She said, standing up, rubbing her hands on her pants. Her legs hurt from sitting so long, her feet aching when she put pressure on them. 

“No. You’ve taken first watch three nights in a row. You’re going to sleep.” Nate said firmly, tossing a stick into the fire. Max glared back at him, but he didn’t back down.

“Max. Sleep. Now.” She rolled her eyes, too tired to argue with him tonight. She picked up her backpack and unclipped her sleeping bag, rolling it out next to the fire. 

“Listen to the radio.” She said as she laid down, her back to him. She could feel Nate tense that she hadn’t said her usual goodnight, replacing it with a command instead, which could only mean one thing. 

“Look. I said I’m sorry about—”

“I know.” She interrupted, her voice surprising level, giving away no sign of any possible emotion. “I’m not mad at you.” 

“Really.” He laughed bitterly. “Because you seem pretty pissed to me. You haven’t said anything more than one-sentence-answers to me all day and I’m getting kinda sick of it.” 

“Do you want me to be mad?” She asked, sitting up and staring back at him. “Because that could change real fast.” Nate rolled his eyes, picking up the radio and sitting down on the rock. 

“Maybe next time, you’d forgive me for saving your life.” He mumbled, picking up another stick and leaning forward against his knees to poke at some of the dying coals as the Wheeler dude repeated his phrase again. 

“You saved my life?!” She asked. “You made me think you were dead!” 

“Yes!” He exclaimed, just as harshly. “I pulled you under! And it was a  _ joke, _ since when can you  _ not _ take it a joke? You’re always pranking me! Always making fun of me, but I do it and suddenly it’s wrong?” 

Max rolled her eyes and laid down again, closing her eyes. She let out a silent shaky breath, pulling her hoodie tighter around her. 

She hated fighting with him, because he was her best friend, and literally the only person she had around. To make matters worse the day-long trek passed by much slower when they weren’t talking to each other.

He had a point, she did do those things, but it wasn’t him doing it back that had upset her, he’d just been stupid, forgotten that they were in danger, they both had. It’d been the only thing on her mind all night last night and throughout the entire trip today. 

She was secretly grateful he’d pulled her down, that he’d had a plan and hadn’t left her behind, but at the same time she couldn’t let herself be the reason he’d get hurt, that they got caught. 

She wasn’t mad at  _ him, _ she was mad at herself. 

She pushed the thought away, closing her eyes, trying to ignore the way her memories started to play like a movie in her mind even before they managed to slip into her dreams. _______________________________________

_ 10 Years Earlier _

Max was panicking. Lucas still wasn’t home, and it was almost six o’clock. Forty-three minutes late. Even if he wasn’t on time Lucas never exceeded the ten minute mark. Something was wrong. He’d had his birthday less than a week ago, and the thought of him being so late was making her internally panic, but she was trying not to let it affect her. Still, there were things she couldn’t control. 

Her leg was bouncing at an abnormal speed, her eyes still locked on the steel door like they had been for the past half hour. She’d forced herself to sit down after pacing around for twenty minutes, now she wanted to get up and move again. Sitting still was the hardest part, not panicking came in a close second. 

She squeezed her hands together tightly. Her breathing was shaky, like unusually shaky, and all she could think about was a nightmare she’d had just a few days before, when she’d been so sick that she’d been bedridden for a couple days. 

It had seemed so real. She and Lucas were sitting on the bed, Lucas reading to her while she drew a picture, like they normally did before bed. She hadn’t noticed she’d been drawing her dad, her  _ real _ dad, instead of Lucas until after she’d woken up. 

Suddenly they were in the soccer field, the door to the main building that no one was allowed in unless they had an invitation, had suddenly been bust down like it was made of styrofoam instead of solid steel, four men in identical black jackets, black jeans and matte black motorcycle helmets rushing out into the field, training their guns at only the two of them, ordering them to freeze while everyone else around them seemed to be oblivious to what was happening. 

While they were frozen and shaking in fear, two of the guards surged forward, and had dragged a struggling Lucas away, his image flickering from her dad to Billy to her mom and back to him again, leaving Max to listen to him screaming in pain all the way down the street, the ground swallowing up her feet so that she couldn’t follow him.

She remembered there being blood, lots of blood, though she wasn’t sure where it’d come from, Lucas or herself. 

She’d woken up in a cold sweat, alone in an empty house while Lucas was at school, finding herself already clutching the teddy bear her mom had given to her on her fifth birthday. It wasn’t the same as her mom, not even close to Lucas, but holding onto it was comforting enough when she had nothing else. 

The door squeaked open, breaking her out of her thoughts. She stood up quickly, her breath catching as Lucas appeared in the doorway. She let out a breath of relief, moving towards him, but he shook his head, just slightly, and she froze. 

Two guards entered the room behind him, closing the door. 

They looked just like they had in her dream, exactly the way Lucas had described the ones at school, from the motorcycle helmets to the combat boots. They were almost twice the size of Lucas, in both height and stature, making him look pathetically small as they stood behind him. 

“Maxine Mayfeild?” One of them asked, his voice rough underneath the helmet. She swallowed, nodding. “You have five minutes.” 

The other guard shoved Lucas forward by his shoulder, hard enough to make him stumble but somehow managing to stay on his feet as the two guards left the room, the steel door’s familiar scream echoing around the room as it shut behind them. 

“Lucas what’s going on?” She whispered, finding her voice just as shaky as her breathing had been. Her feet felt like they were cemented to the floor, holding her back from moving towards him no matter how much she wanted to. 

He swallowed, staring back at her with the same saddened expression. “I promised you...that I-I’d say goodbye.” 

Her heart dropped, and she felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. 

“No.” She breathed. Her chest was getting tighter, making it harder to breathe. Everything was going cold, tears welling up in her eyes as she looked at him. She hadn’t cried since that day he’d first found her, but five words were repeating over and over in her mind, pushing her over the edge to the point she could feel herself breaking. 

_ You’ll never see him again.  _

She started to panic, her breathing becoming shorter and less accessible. “No, no, no. Lucas please.” He moved forward, pulling her to him and hugging her closer than he ever had before. She could feel him shaking, how scared he was, and suddenly she was crying. 

“I can’t lose you too.” She sobbed against his shoulder. “Luke. You’re all I have. Please. Please don’t go. Don’t leave. Please.” 

“I’m sorry.” He choked, and suddenly she felt guilty. He was scared, and  _ she _ was the one crying.  _ He _ was being taken, and she was begging him not to go because  _ she _ didn’t want to be alone. She was being selfish. 

“I wasn’t trying to be found.” Lucas continued, his voice heavy with fear. “I promise I wasn’t, Max. I didn’t even do anything. T-they just took me out of school in the middle of the lesson and told me they were taking me. I had to beg them to come back here to see you, t-to say goodbye but...I-I don’t want to go, Max. I don’t want to go.” She felt a chill run down her spine when Lucas’s breath caught on the last words, his whole body shuddering. She squeezed him tighter. 

“You’ll be ok.” She tried to reassure him, although her fingers clutching the fabric on the back of his jacket showed she thought otherwise. “No matter what happens, you’ll always be my best friend.” 

“You’re my best friend too.” Lucas managed. “I’m scared, Max. What do I do?” The door swung open again, and they both knew for a fact it hadn’t been five minutes. They pulled apart, Lucas moving to stand beside her, his eyes glued to his shoes as he struggled not to cry, not to be a baby when he was expected to be a man. 

“Please.” Max found herself begging, her cheeks stained with tears. Because she didn’t  _ care _ anymore. They deserved to see how much pain they put her in, how they were ruining her life. “I’ll do  _ anything, _ just don’t take him.” 

“Sorry kid.” One of the guards said, shrugging his shoulders. “We’ve got orders.”

“Screw your orders! I don’t want to lose him!” Max yelled, her voice breaking as she stepped in front of Lucas, shielding him. At first the men hesitated, glancing at each other through their darkened helmets as if they hadn’t expected such firm words to come out of such a small kid’s mouth, but she was used to it. 

She was used to adults giving her weird looks when she showed up to town meetings without her parents, her mom. She was used to the boys pushing her away and treating her differently just because she was a girl. She was sick of the stereotypes, sick of the unfairness. 

She felt anger swelling up in her chest. They’d taken her family, forced her to mature faster than she should’ve at such a young age, forced her to survive on her own, and now they were going to take possibly the only person that had kept her alive. 

“Too bad. He’s coming with us.” The second guard said, clearly the more assertive one. He took a step forward, closing the space between them. 

“No.” Max said confidently, taking an equal step back, pushing Lucas closer to her. “I won’t let you have him.” 

“This isn’t a question.” His voice hardened under his helmet. “ _ Move over.”  _

“No!” 

“Max.” Lucas warned, his voice laced in fear. They knew there were big punishments for refusing, but at this moment she didn’t care. 

“I can’t let you disappear too.” She whimpered, turning around to look him in the eye, feeling the anger melting away when she saw him. 

_ You’ll never see him again.  _

“I can't be alone again. Lucas  _ please—”  _

“I’ll find you. Ok?” He whispered, somehow temporarily stopping her panic when he set his hands on her shoulders. “I’ll see you again.” 

“I don’t want to wait that long.” A couple more tears rolled down her cheeks, and she didn’t make any effort to wipe them away. “I want you here,  _ right now. _ I want to know that you’re safe. Please.” 

“I’ll be fine.” He said, giving her a brave smile. “It’s ok. I promise.” She knew he was scared out of his mind just by the way his hands shook as he rested them on her shoulders. She knew just by the way his big brown eyes looked back at her, how he kept swallowing down the lump in his throat. 

She knew him better now in only a year than she’d ever known her own family. He meant more to her than any of them had, and just as soon he was being taken from her. 

“You have to let me go with them.” He said. 

“No—” she argued, feeling the panic rising in her chest again.  _ You’ll never see him again. He’ll forget all about you. Your family is gone. It’s all your fault. _ “Lucas. Please. I’m so scared. Lucas…” 

“Hey.” He whispered, stepping closer. “It’s okay. Just breathe. It’s ok.” 

“It’s not ok!” She burst, choking on the sobs she was holding back. “You’re leaving me too! They’re taking you just like they took everyone else and I can’t lose you!”

“I’m not leaving you.” He whispered. “I’ll come back, and we’ll get out.” She felt herself believing him, no matter how much her brain was arguing against him. She knew she couldn’t win, no matter how much she argued and fought and screamed, she’d never win, but she could give up. 

“Lucas…” 

“I will not let you be alone.” He said, so confidently it sounded true. She was beat, she couldn’t speak, couldn’t argue with him anymore, and she was scared beyond words. 

“Promise you’ll come back, and we’ll leave?” She whispered shakily, just loud enough for him to hear. He nodded, then took off his watch, slipping it into her hands. She took it, looking up at him in surprise. He’d never taken it off. 

“Promise.” His voice wavered, unshed tears building in his eyes. She stepped closer, hugging him again. She knew they’d take him soon, so she pulled him even closer than should’ve been possible, trying with every last bit of self-control she had not to cry anymore, for his sake. She couldn’t let that be the last thing he remembered of her. Her hand moved to the back of his neck, her fingers gently wandering into his hair the way her mom used to do with her when she was scared. 

“I love you.” She whispered, and it was true. He was her best friend, her  _ family. _ She’d grown to learn that that warm feeling she got when he came home wasn’t just relief, it made her more than beyond happy when he did, knowing that the rest of the day would consist of the two of them making dinner together and reading before they went to bed. She felt safe when he hugged her after nightmares and the extra painful days, or took care of her when she was sick, always comforting her even though she wouldn’t cry. She felt scared whenever he had to leave for school, because she didn’t want to lose him. 

She  _ couldn’t _ lose him. 

Lucas shuddered again, reality setting in, a sob tearing out of his throat. “Max…” he begged. 

“Ok. That’s enough.” One of the guards said, clearly frustrated as he moved to physically pull the two of them apart, pushing Max away as he dragged a kicking Lucas to the door by his arm. 

“I love you Max!” Lucas called out, his voice underlined in fear as the two guards dragged him away, restraining him to very little movement. “I promise. I promise I’ll see you again. I promi—” 

The door swung shut and instantly Max sunk to the floor, all her strength dissipating as she heard Lucas screaming for her all the way down the hall. She pulled her knees to her chest as she started to cry, panicked sobs falling from her lips as she tried to control her breathing, her fingers squeezing the watch in her hands tightly. She was back to the same place she’d been when her mom had been taken a little over a year ago: left to wonder how she would survive the rest of her life on her own, and if she could ever afford to care about anyone ever again, scared beyond the ability for her seven year old mind to comprehend. 

_______________________________________

Max opened her eyes, making a conscious effort not to make any noise or move too suddenly to alert Nate that she’d woken up. 

She closed her eyes, silently sucking in a deep breath and then blowing it out again. 

_ “Look around you.” _ Lucas’ voice seemed to be telling her.  _ “What do you see?” _

Her eyes scanned their surroundings as best they could from where she was laying on her side. 

She could see the stars shining brightly in the velvet black sky through the entrance of the cave. 

She could see the almost invisible shadows of the flames from the dying fire behind her flicking across the wall of rock, Nate’s resting beside it, stretching towards the ceiling. 

She could see the darkened silhouettes of the pine trees surrounding them on every side, hiding them. 

They were safe. They were far away from Murkshore, far enough that she’d probably never have to worry about seeing it ever again. 

As long as they didn’t get caught. 

She swallowed hard, now allowing herself to remember how close they’d been yesterday, why Nate still thought she was mad, just so she wouldn’t have to hear Lucas’s screaming. 

“Nate!” She’d yelled ahead, watching as he stripped off his coat and hoodie and let out a happy yell as he dove into the river they’d reached without a second thought. 

The water splashed up the side of the bank, soaking the dry ground and instantly turning it to mud. 

Max rolled her eyes playfully, folding her arms across her chest and leaning against the side of a tree as she waited for him to break the surface again. 

Except he  _ hadn’t. _ He didn’t come up for several seconds, in fact, enough for her to start to get worried. 

“Nate?” She called after a while, dropping her backpack on the ground as she kneeled next to the river bed to peer into the water. It was dark and murky, and she couldn’t see anything over the edge, just darkness. 

“Nate!” 

She swore under her breath, her fingers quickly fumbling with the zipper as she unzipped her coat. 

Nate was a strong swimmer, she knew he was. But he’d been down there longer than it took for him to jump in and pop back up, and even though the current looked weak from up top, she knew from experience that the undercurrents could catch you off guard. 

She stood up, pulling off her hoodie as she surveyed the area. 

Where she was standing was the only spot where the river bed met right up against the water, the few miles surrounding them on either side was a sudden ten-foot drop off of shear dirt and rock that the river had carved through over the years. 

If he’d floated down even a little bit he’d have to swim back upstream against the current or find a place to stop that was sturdy enough to climb out. 

“Idiot.” She mumbled, unclipping the watch from her wrist and tossing it onto her hoodie where it lay on the dry patch of ground. 

“Nate!” She was starting to panic now. There weren’t many options other than her wading into the water, but the rocks suddenly dropped off less than ten feet in. 

“Dude it’s not funny!” When there was still no answer she kicked off her shoes and waded into the cold water, flinching when it rose just above her ankles, sending a cold shock through her whole body. 

Even through the water she could see something rising out of the depths, a giant shadow, seemingly growing bigger and bigger. 

Before she had time to realize it was getting closer, Nate shot out of the water with a scream, pulling her in by her arm. 

She let out a yelp, the shock she’d gotten when she’d waded in was nothing compared to falling in completely, the water rising above her head temporarily freezing her until she realized she had to go back up again and breathe. 

She broke the surface with a gasp, Nate laughing as he tread water next to her. 

“I hate you!” She said, using all her weight to push his shoulders down, dunking his head under the water. Nate struggled against her for a minute, before popping back up and coughing out water, messily running a hand through his hair to push it away from his face. 

“Not fair!” 

“You pulled me in!” She objected, shoving him back by his shoulders, his black t-shirt clinging to his skin, the muscles flexing as he waved his arms to stay up. He laughed, floating back a little, just out of her reach. 

“Oh, and made you think you drowned!” 

“I can  _ swim, _ Einstein.” 

“Yeah well, with you I never know.” 

“Hey, at least I know how to shoot a gun, you’d be dead without me.” 

“Wanna bet?” 

“Yes I wanna bet!” Nate said, lunging for her. She dodged him, using his momentum against him to push him under again. 

The water wasn’t cold anymore, it felt kinda nice, and they started to get careless. They splashed around and laughed louder than they should’ve, almost pretending that they were normal kids, but they weren’t. 

They were on the run for their lives, people were hunting them, and had been for five years. If they got caught they’d probably be killed, at  _ best _ Nate would be drafted into recruitment. 

“What was that?” Nate asked, Max had put him in a headlock and he was doing everything in his power to keep his face out of the water. 

“Haha very funny.” She said, trying to push him down again. “I’m not falling for it.” 

“No, Max I’m serious.” 

“Sure.” Apparently Nate had extra leverage, because he managed to stand up to a height she couldn’t hold him down anymore, slipping out of her hold. 

Max was about to object, tell him to quit messing around, but he was staring back the way they’d come with such concentration she started to believe him. 

“Listen.” He whispered. Then, very subtly, she heard it. 

Talking. 

A whole group of people, one calling out orders as others yelled back responses. 

“They’re sweeping the whole forest.” Nate said quietly. 

“We have to leave.” Max said, starting to swim back towards the bank, but Nate grabbed her arm, pulling her back. 

“There’s nowhere to go but across the river.”

“We can’t get out that way, it’s a ten foot cliff straight up.” 

“Exactly, and we can’t go back. They’ll see us. We‘re trapped.” Her stomach dropped. 

_ Trapped? _

“What do we do?” She asked. 

“Go under.” 

“What?” 

“Now!” She just managed to suck in a breath before Nate pulled her under, the sounds of the men reaching the tree line that opened up to the river muting slightly when the water covered her ears. 

There were so many of them, at least six from the sound of it, their combat boots seemingly shaking the ground all around them. 

“Scout the river!” One yelled, clearly the leader. “They couldn’t have gone far! Search the entire bank!” 

Max glanced over at Nate though the greenish-yellow tinted water, his gaze focused upwards. His brown hair was a mess around his head, swishing back and forth each time he moved. 

He caught her eye, holding a finger to his lips, a silent signal not to breathe too much and lose the air too quickly, or create too many bubbles on the surface that would make the tracking team suspicious. 

Suddenly a shadow fell over the top of them, a figure looking into the water, and Max pulled him a few feet deeper by his forearm as she pushed further down the sides of the rocks, just to make sure they were hidden in the shadows. 

Her breath was going fast, and she could feel herself starting to panic at the loss of air. 

_ You’re in control. _ She told herself.  _ Don’t let it scare you.  _

“Found this boss!” The shadow moved away from the water, and with a jolt Max remembered their stuff on the side of the river bed. 

Their food, their clothes, maps, journals, her sketchbook, everything they’d used to survive for the past five years, was up there, out in the open. She glanced at Nate again, the same panic shining in his eyes that she knew for certain were in hers. 

“They couldn’t have gotten far then! Let’s move out! Keep your eyes peeled.” 

Max counted to a total of twenty more seconds before she couldn’t hold it anymore, swimming up and breaking the surface just before she ran out of breath. Nate followed a moment after, the two of them coughing up water and gasping for air. The area was empty, the men clearing out, true to their leaders word. 

She could hear Nate asking if she was okay, but her sole focus was on their stuff. She scrambled toward the river bed, pulling herself out of the water. Her hoodie was gone, but there, in the dirt, she saw something glinting in the sun. 

She reached down, picking up the silver wristwatch she’d had for the past ten years, letting out a sigh of relief as she wiped the dirt off the face. 

“They didn’t take it?” Nate asked as he looked over her shoulder, his hair dripping down his face and onto her already soaked t-shirt. 

“No.” She said, almost shakily, slipping it over her wrist and securing it into place. If she’d lost it...she didn’t know what she’d do. She made a mental note never to take it off again. 

It was the only reminder she had of Lucas anymore, the only proof that he’d been real and not just a figment of her imagination. She didn’t want to forget him, and in a way, the watch was all she had left of him. 

“Look.” Nate said, moving past her, gently placing his hand on her shoulder as he pushed past. 

Their bags and coats were shoving haphazardly under some underbrush next to one of the nearby trees, as if they’d been hidden quickly. 

“Did you do this?” He asked, kneeling down. “After I jumped in?” 

“No.” She said, feeling the confusion writing itself over her face. “No they were…” she spun around, pointing closer to the river bed, where she’d dropped her bag before. 

“They were right there.” 

Nate leaned down, picking them up and examining them carefully. “No hidden trackers.” He said confidently. “Someone hid them before the others could find them.” 

“Someone’s on our side?” 

“I—I guess I don’t…” Nate looked around, scanning the deep woods. “I don’t know.” Max followed his gaze for a moment, before bending down and scooping up her own bag. 

“We need to go.” She said, starting to shiver, her teeth chattering as she spoke. He nodded in agreement, tossing over her coat and standing up. 

“Sorry about your hoodie.” 

“It’s fine.” She said, still a little shaken up with the experience. It was close. Too close. “I have more.” 

“But that was your favorite.” He said, studying her, as if determining whether she’d actually be upset or not. 

“I don’t care. It’s fine. We just...we need to go, Nate.” He nodded, pulling his hoodie on over his head and ruffling his hair as the two of them moved downstream, the distinguishable combat boot footprints leading upstream. 

As they walked, the same questions echoed through both of their minds. 

Was someone with them? Did they have an inside man protecting them as they went? 

__

_ Lucas. It’s Lucas. It has to be Lucas. _ Was all that ran through Max’s thoughts, but no matter how many times Nate glanced over at her, she couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud, because the fear of allowing herself to hope could make her lose herself all over again. 


	2. Nate

Max didn’t talk about her feelings, it was just something she didn’t do, and Nate knew that. But if he’d asked her to describe how she was feeling and somehow managed to get it out of her, he knew she’d probably just say one, simple word: numb. 

He  _ knew _ she was dreaming about Lucas. She mumbled in her sleep, and because she was being so quiet he could make a pretty educated guess that it wasn’t about the good parts. She hadn’t  _ really _ slept in a full week, always jerking awake every ten or twenty minutes and completely out of breath every time. 

He didn’t mean to make his worry so obvious when his attention would snap towards her each time, insisting she go back to sleep even when it was time to switch shifts, but lately even when it was his shift, she ended up sitting across the fire from him, wide awake with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders as she stared into the burning flames, never really there mentally. 

It was the same tonight. She hadn’t spoken the entire trip through the forest that day, completely out of it. She hadn’t even reacted when a rabbit ran out from the underbrush and almost tripped her, hardly noticing it was even real until the bang of his rifle had rung through the air and made her jump, the animal dropping to the ground and adding somewhat to their now empty food supply. 

The ‘Wheeler’ guy had been sending out the same message everyday, calling for defectors, but ever since Max had stopped talking he’d decided it was best to stop asking if they could answer for now. He’d even gone as far as to turn it off when Max had glared it down in annoyance during dinner. 

He’d tried talking to her about it all, but she was usually so zoned out she didn’t hear him, that or she was just  _ really _ good at ignoring him. 

He glanced up across the fire, looking at her again for the tenth time in the past five minutes. The shadows of the fire were flickering across her face, the flames the same color as her hair, her expression the same it had been the entirety of her sitting there shivering with the blanket wrapped around her shoulders, which  _ he’d _ put there, but knew she probably hadn’t even noticed. 

He was worried about the way she was acting. She was eating, so that was good, but it was still less than usual, a little more than half her rations for the day but still not enough to function. He knew she was just forcing down as much as she could so that she didn’t look suspicious to him, but he wasn’t as stupid as she thought. He knew her better than she gave him credit for. It was almost a little insulting whenever she thought she could hide anything from him. 

In all honesty she wasn’t really sleeping at all during the night anymore, just small power naps when they stopped during the day, and even when she  _ did _ sleep, she’d still wake up just as suddenly as during the night, before insisting that they keep moving, like it was their location was what was causing her restlessness. 

Sometimes she’d sleep a little longer, maybe half an hour at a time, but that was only when he was tickling her back or she was leaning back against his legs while he sat on a log or rock above her, and that  _ only _ happened if she asked for him to, if she didn’t ask, she didn’t want to be touched. 

“Max.” She didn’t look up, didn’t even react to the words coming out of his mouth. Nate sighed, blowing out a breath as he tossed his poking stick into the fire and walked over to her, kneeling in front of her. 

“Hey.” Normally she would’ve jumped at him suddenly kneeling so closely in front of her, maybe even punch him on instinct, which would’ve made him feel better, but instead she just looked up at him blankly, shivering under the blanket pulled around her. She was shaking just as much as when they’d climbed out of the river. 

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” She didn’t answer, pulling her eyes away from his and continuing to watch the fire over his shoulder. 

“Stop doing that.” Nate said, gently pulling on the hood around her head, forcing her to look at him, his hand staying there to steady her. “You’re supposed to be sleeping and you didn’t make fun of me for tripping on my own feet earlier today. Talk to me.” 

She opened her mouth, her words coming out scratchy and raw, making him realize how long it had been since he’d actually heard her voice. “I can’t.” 

“Yes you can. You know I’m not gonna make fun of you—”

“I can’t because I don’t  _ know.” _ She said, which was an obvious lie. “I don’t know what’s going on.” A beat of silence passed, Nate studying her carefully. 

“It’s the nightmares...isn’t it?” She seemed to think about it for a moment, because she knew he knew, clearly she did, and there was no use hiding it from him anymore. 

She didn’t want to admit it, he could see it in the way her jaw tightened and her expression hardened, but he could also see the gears turning in her head, realizing that if she didn’t sleep for another night she wasn’t gonna be able to defend herself if they were caught again. 

Finally she nodded, continuing to avoid his gaze, and this time he let her. 

“It was...at first but now, it’s just...none of it even  _ happened _ and it’s just getting worse and worse.” Her eyes softened when she finally looked at him, silently begging him to help. “I’m—Nate I’m scared to even close my eyes anymore.” Her breath caught, surprising him at the fact that she was getting emotional, but she quickly cleared her throat, trying to cover it up. 

She’d never outright admitted to being scared, never out loud anyways, she’d basically shut off all her emotions besides happiness since they’d left, but he could see the fear in her expression as clearly as the exhaustion. 

“Max.” He whispered, standing up to sit down next to her on the log. He could feel her shivering through her blanket, even though she was wearing his extra hoodie under her coat. 

“That’s why you tell me you’re not tired when you clearly are, isn’t it?” He asked, leaning forward against his knees to get a better look at her. “So you don’t have to have the nightmares again?” 

She swallowed, hesitating, then nodded. “I don’t need to see him die in front of me anymore.” She said quietly, her voice barely a whisper, full of more fear than he’d ever thought was possible for her to feel. He didn’t need her to tell him she was talking about Lucas. 

He’d never even met the guy, but from stories Max had told him he seemed really mature for his age, grown up, even as a little kid. He wished he could thank him for taking care of Max for as long as he could before they took him, but he knew he’d never get the chance. 

Sometimes, selfishly, it was hard to even imagine what Lucas could’ve added to Max’s life, because as long as Nate had known her she’d always been so confident, and brave, and didn’t put up with anyone’s crap, but deep down he really believed that Lucas had probably strengthened those qualities in her. 

Max was the strongest person he knew, but right now she was shaking from either fear, sadness, lack of sleep or maybe a combination of the three, and forcing herself to keep her eyes open for the fourth day in a row, which wasn’t at all normal, Max loved sleeping. 

“You don’t need to be embarrassed about it, ok? I get it. I do.” He said after a minute of silence. “I’ve had nightmares about that place too.” 

“No.” She said flatly. “No offense Nate, but you  _ don’t _ understand what it feels like to lose someone all over again, to have your family taken away  _ more _ than once.” Even though the strength in her voice he could sense the hurt, so he let the harshness go, wrapping his arm over her shoulder and scooting closer. 

He half expected her to push him away, or at least to tell him to leave her alone, because she was the type of person that wasn’t into physical touch, but instead she caught him by surprise, dropping her head onto his shoulder and shuffling closer to him, clinging to the fabric of his hoodie against his side. 

He could feel the exhaustion radiating off of her, as well as the lack of heat, her shoulders still shivering against his. 

“Will it stop?” She asked, real curiosity in her words. “Do you think I’ll ever be able to get over losing everyone?” 

“You haven’t lost everyone.” He said quietly, rubbing her shoulder in an attempt to warm her up a little more. “You still have me. I’m not going to leave you. Ever, ok?” 

“I know.” She whispered. “And I know I should be over it. It’s been ten years but…it still scares me, Nate. That’s why I wouldn’t talk to you at first. I didn’t trust myself to care about you like I cared about Lucas. I’d been alone for  _ three _ years by then, I thought I could handle it. I thought that I didn’t  _ need _ someone to love me, and that if I cared…then they'd just end up taking you too, and I’d be right back to the beginning again.” 

He pretended not to notice when she reached up to wipe at her eyes, whether she was crying or not, it wasn’t his business to point it out. 

“I just wanted somebody to care about me  _ so badly _ that I allowed myself to trust you when you kept coming back after I would push you away, but I was so scared. I couldn’t risk that pain anymore. I was just a kid.” 

“I know.” He whispered, slowing her rant. “You didn’t deserve to feel that way. It wasn’t fair that they took everything from you, and it’s not wrong for you to still miss him, you do know that right?” 

“But I should’ve stopped hoping a long time ago.” She said, her voice even softer than before. “Because I already know for a fact that I’ll never see him again and thinking about it and dreaming about it is just making it so much worse.” 

He wanted to tell her she was wrong, even though it wasn’t true, but they’d both seen the announcement about sending all those boys off to fight in some war, and hardly any had ever come back after they’d lost. 

Nate used to be so mad he hadn’t been one of the boys chosen, but after seeing Max run out of the gazebo and breaking down into a full-blown panic attack after hearing about the bombing and realizing Lucas wasn’t coming back like he’d promised her, he’d changed his mind. 

That’d been the night she’d let him into her life, and he’d sworn to himself that he’d do everything to protect her as well as Lucas would’ve. She deserved that much. 

And yes, sometimes it bothered him when all she thought about was Lucas when he was right here with her, but he knew it wasn’t anything wrong with him. Lucas had been a big part of her life, her first friend, possibly the only person that had been willing to accept her, and really love her. He knew what wishing for love felt like, because before he’d met her no one had even bothered to pay any attention to him, not even his own family. 

“It’s not that I don’t care about you, you know.” She said after a moment, as if reading his thoughts. “You’re still my favorite person. Ok, actually you’re the  _ only _ person I care about right now but. It’s just...I wish he could be here too, with  _ both _ of us. I wish I could’ve kept my side of the promise and gotten him out.” 

“I know. I wish I could’ve met him.” 

“Me too. You guys would probably be best friends and end up leaving me behind.” She joked, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she imagined it. 

Nate smiled, laying his head against hers. “I’d never leave you behind.” He whispered. 

“Don’t go soft on me.” She teased. “I’m still gonna need you to drown me in order to save my life again.” Nate laughed again, trying to ignore the way his stomach flip-flopped when she leaned heavier against him. 

He was trying really hard not to notice how much cuter she’d gotten the last five years, not to mention the last few  _ months, _ her hair getting longer and wavier than he’d ever seen it before. He’d always been mad that she’d been taller than him, but now that he’d passed her he loved the way she fit in his arms when he hugged her. 

He was mentally slapping himself over and over again  _ because—dang it— _ she was his best friend and he refused to ruin that relationship. 

Still, the way her hair had looked after he’d pulled her into the river last week, shining like a fire in the sunlight over the sparkling blue-green water, matching the color of her eyes as she looked back at him, the droplets of water running down her face—

“You should get some sleep.” He said, clearing his throat when his voice was an octave higher than usual. Max lifted her head from his shoulder, looking up at him, almost curiously, as if she noticed it. 

She opened her mouth like she was about to object to his suggestion, but the words never came out. She seemed to remember that they weren’t going to get very far if she didn’t have any energy. 

“Promise you’ll stay close?” 

He nodded, giving her a small smile. “Yeah. I promise. I’ll stay right here.” 

Max smiled back, before leaning against him again, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. 

“I wanna stay here. You’re warm.” She said sleepily. 

“Ok.” He laughed. 

“Night.” 

“Goodnight MadMax.” She didn’t seem to react to him using Lucas’ nickname for her, and before he knew it, her had breathing changed, and she was snoring softly as she laid against him. 

_______________________________________

7  _ Years Earlier _

Max looked up from her spot on the bench, trying to ignore the disgusted looks Troy kept shooting her from the soccer field. She was also restraining herself from flipping him off for a fifth time. 

Not only was he mad at her for practically  _ existing _ but also for the fact that Lucas had been taken and not him. She kept hearing him complaining about it, even  _ now, _ three years later. She kept catching simple phrases like “couldn’t even fight” and “weak useless piece of filth”. 

Everytime she restrained herself from tackling him into the mud or yelling at him to disappear instead, instead focusing on the other boys playing the soccer game, the ones that would give her apologetic smiles when Troy yelled at her to leave, like they actually wanted to play with her. 

It wasn’t even fair that soccer reminded her of Lucas. He’d  _ sucked _ at soccer. He’d tripped over his feet so many times that everyone had always made him goalie. She still wanted to play, especially since Troy was so against it, as if the very idea would make Lucas proud of her. 

“Hey!” A voice said from beside her. 

“What do you want?” She asked, refusing to look at the boy in front of her. He was a little shorter than she was, and she hated the way his brown hair was all over the place, even though it was practically buzzed, he had cowlicks sticking up everywhere. It made her want to punch him, though she wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t even that big of a deal. 

“Do you wanna come play?” 

“They won’t let me.” She snapped, turning back to the soccer game. “I’ve been trying to play my whole life.” 

“Oh.” He shrunk back from her a little. “Um, I’m Nate.” 

“I don’t care.” She said flatly, turning towards him. “Leave me alone.” 

“I’m just asking if—”

“Go away.” She glared back at him, emphasizing the fact that she didn’t want him here. 

“Ok.” He said quietly, shoving his hands in his shorts pockets of his cut-up jeans and starting to drag his feet as he walked  _ past _ the soccer field and sat on the swings. 

Alone. 

Max almost felt bad.  _ Almost. _

She forced herself not to care about how sad he looked, because whatever qualities he had would eventually be seen by the guards, and he’d be one of the boys taken soon. Then his life would be one thousand times better without having to worry about the random lonely girl that refused to talk to him. 

She couldn’t get attached to anyone, no matter how much she  _ wanted _ to, no matter how much she just wanted someone to hold onto her for a while, someone that wouldn’t judge her when she started crying. She  _ couldn’t. _ None of them were Lucas anyways, so it wasn’t like it wouldn’t make it any better. 

The dinner bell rang, signaling the town to start making their way to the previously abandoned church building, which she’d never seen used for anything else besides passing out food and new clothes at the beginning of the school year.

In a recent town meeting the council had decided that on weekends the town would provide the meals, but  _ only _ on weekends, which pissed Max off to no end. All she knew how to make herself on school nights was spaghetti, pancakes and  _ maybe _ occasionally some type of soup. 

The boys playing soccer all took off towards the mess hall, racing each other, determined to get the last of the pudding cups before they were out, abandoning the field and leaving the tattered, muddy ball sitting in the middle. 

Max got up, shoving her hands into her zip up as she trudged towards the mess hall. 

She was vaguely aware of the other kids meeting up with their parents and siblings as they passed their living quarters, walking with them, but she ignored it like she did every other weekend. 

Yeah, it had hurt at first when everyone else sat with their families and left her alone, but she’d grown used to it. It’d been four years since her mom had been taken from her, and three since Lucas. 

She was used to being alone. 

She’d made herself more meals than she could count, had taken care of her own injuries without shedding a single tear and had learned how to keep herself busy on the lonely days. She’d grown up without a family for what felt like her whole life now, and nothing really hurt her as much as it used to. 

She’d gotten in enough fights with Troy to last a lifetime, sometimes physically, but it never got very far before one of the guards would always break it up before it even started, just because she was a  _ girl. _ And boys couldn’t hit girls.

She knew Troy would gladly hit her the second he didn’t have anyone watching, and she was waiting for it. She  _ wanted _ him to do it, because she wanted to have a reason to hurt him for everything he’d ever done to Lucas, for every time he’d hurt him just because he was trying to protect  _ her. _

She pulled open the large church doors that led to the mess hall, slipping inside the crowded room. She moved straight to the table lining the back wall, standing in line behind a little boy no older than five, holding his dad’s hand. He kinda looked like Billy had when he was little with his curly blonde hair. 

She knew this kid's dad hadn’t been recruited because he had heart issues, or at least that’s what her mom had told her, back then this little boy had only been a newborn baby. Now he was in school, in danger of being taken too, unless his father’s heart condition had been passed down to him, then he’d be what she considered as one of the  _ lucky _ ones that got to live a normal life. 

He looked back up at her, staring at her for an uncomfortably long time. She gave him a look that asked him (in a very rude way) what he wanted, but he just stared back at her, not taking his eyes off of her as he reached for his dad. 

“Daddy.” He said, tugging on the man's sleeve. 

“Hmm?” The man mumbled. 

“Where’s  _ her _ mommy?” The boy pointed straight at her, and she resisted the urge to hit him. She didn’t care if he was a kid. That was none of his business. At least everyone else in this run-down dump was considerate enough  _ not _ to bring it up around her. She was perfectly fine with not knowing when they were talking behind her back, but when they didn’t even make an effort to hide it… 

“I don’t know buddy, but don’t point, ok? It’s rude. Sorry.” The man said, turning to her only for half a second, apologizing without even really acknowledging her. 

“It’s fine.” She mumbled. 

No matter how many times it happened it always made her regret coming, even though the alternative was no food for the night. Sometimes she wished she could just go home and never wake up. 

After what felt like hours, she reached the front of the line, loading her tray with chicken salad sandwiches, a few pickle wedges, egg salad, a bag of potato chips, an apple juice and a cluster of grapes, grabbing the last pudding cup from the desserts and hurrying away toward the only empty table, ignoring the way the little kids behind her started to throw a tantrum now that the dessert was gone. 

She dropped down into the plastic chair, her feet swinging just a few inches from the concrete since she wasn’t tall enough to touch the floor yet. 

She pulled her tray closer, taking a bite of her sandwich. It tasted like cardboard, like usual, so she choked it down. She was pretty used to it, although she missed Lucas’s cooking. Maybe even her moms too, which she’d always complained about but now regretted it wholeheartedly. 

She completely ignored the pickles and egg salad, because they were the  _ exact _ same greenish-gray color, and she decided it wasn’t worth having digestion problems all night long. 

She moved on to her grapes, popping one into her mouth. They were unbelievably bitter, maybe even rotten, and she grimaced as she swallowed it down. 

The only good part of meals was ever the pudding, chips and the apple juice, and that’s because it was processed, packaged so that it couldn’t be flavored with whatever the people in this town put into it as a seasoning. 

“Hey.” Nate sat down across from her, giving her a nervous smile as he set his tray down, sitting down onto the chair across from her. 

“What are you doing here?” Max asked, glaring across the table at him. “I told you to leave me alone.” 

“I know.” He said. “You just...looked lonely.” 

“I  _ am. _ That’s what leaving me alone means.” 

Nate ignored her, moving onto a new subject. “Where’s your parents?” 

“None of your business.” 

“Why not?” 

“Listen.” Max said, shoving her pudding cup and juice into her jacket pocket as she leaned forward.  _ “We _ are  _ not _ friends. So stop pretending we are.” 

“But we  _ can _ be, right?” 

“No.” She stood up, her chair scraping against the concrete as she jumped off her chair and picked up her tray and chips from the table. She didn’t even acknowledge the fact that he didn’t seem to have parents here either, because she didn’t  _ care.  _

“Why not?” Nate asked. 

“Because I don’t need any friends!” She said, exasperated as she threw her hands into the air. 

“Everyone needs friends.” He said softly. 

“Not true.” She turned around, starting to walk away. 

“Wait! Can you at least just tell me what your name is? I told you mine.” Max froze, her back to him. She took a deep breath, trying to control her anger. Anything to get him off her back. 

“Max.” She said, tearing open her bag of chips and continuing to walk before he could respond. She let her feet carry her towards the doors, dumping her uneaten food into the trash before pushing past the crowds of people to leave the way she came. 

____ ______ ______ ______ ______ _______ 

Max slipped back into her living quarters, tossing her now empty aluminum chip bag into the trash bin and dragging a stool over to the sink to wash the saltiness off her fingers. 

She kept thinking about the boy. What was his name again? Noah? Nick? Nate? 

She was pretty sure it was Nate. 

She didn’t  _ want _ to think about him, but he just kept sneaking into her thoughts. 

_ Him and his stupid fricking hair.  _

She couldn’t remember the last time someone had gone out of their way to talk to her about something other than yelling at her to leave, or making fun of Lucas just to get a reaction out of her, which made her heart stutter a little, but she forced herself to pretend she hadn’t. 

“It doesn’t matter.” She whispered to herself. “It  _ doesn’t matter _ that he’s being nice. He’ll disappear too.” 

She switched the water off, drying her hands off on the towel next to the sink before immediately putting her uneaten pudding cup and juice into the fridge with the other things she’d started collecting for when she actually decided to leave. 

She was waiting for Lucas, and when he got back she had to have enough for the two of them to survive for as long as possible, even if it was ok junk food. 

She quickly and silently changed into her pajamas, before brushing her teeth and washing her face free of the dirt and grime from spending all day at the soccer field. 

She looked up at the dirty mirror, her own face staring back at her. She guessed she probably looked older to other people, if they even bothered to pay attention to her, but to herself she still looked like the same kid she always had.

The same kid that stood up for herself and didn’t take any bull from anyone. The kid that she knew her  _ dad _ would be proud of, proud that she wasn’t letting anyone control her, that she could do things on her own without having to rely on anyone else. She took a deep breath, standing up a little straighter as she made her way back down the hallway to the main room. 

She flicked off the lights, leaving the lamp on the counter on, just enough for her to see where she was going. 

When she climbed into bed it was only seven o’clock, but in all honestly she just wanted the day to be over already.

She neglected her sketchbook and the pile of books on the little side-table, instinctively grabbed the now badly worn out teddy bear at the end of the bed as she crawled toward her pillows, hugging it close to her chest as she pulled the two blankets over the top of her, settling into the mattress. 

Sometimes it was easier to pretend that the bear was someone else, protecting her from everything in the outside world while she was sleeping, and even though she was just pretending, it made her feel a little safer, like she wasn’t really alone, even though she was. 

She knew a stuffed animal wouldn’t be able to protect her if anything decided to break into her living quarters in the middle of the night, but most of the time she found herself not being able to care. 

Maybe it would be a good thing to be taken. 

Maybe she’d see Lucas, or her parents, or even Billy. Maybe they’d hug her tighter than ever before and tell her that they loved her, maybe they’d finally keep her safe. 

Maybe she wouldn’t have to be alone ever again. 

It was hard to pretend that she was ok, that it didn’t hurt when people would just stare at her, or when adults would drag their kids away from her like she was a curse. 

It was hard to pretend that she was perfectly fine being alone every second of every minute of every day, with no one to talk to, even at school. 

It was hard coming home to an empty house, and doing everything on her own while constantly reminding herself that one day Lucas would be home, and the two of them would leave, they would be safe, and together. She just had to keep going, she couldn’t give up, not yet. She just had to take it one day at a time. 

While all these thought swirled in her head they slowly turned into an incoherent jumble as she felt herself falling asleep, the world around her starting to fade away as she imagined them all, her family, but just as she felt herself slipping into absolute unconsciousness, she swore she heard Lucas’s voice, clear as day. 

“I’m not leaving you. I’ll come back, and we’ll get out. I promise.” She jumped, her body no longer comfortable. She took a shaky breath, her hand subconsciously touching the watch on her opposite wrist. The voice in her head was telling her not to think about Lucas, to just forget, but she didn’t ever want to forget him.  _ Ever. _ It scared her out of her mind that one day she might. 

All at once several memories of him popped in her head, but above all she remembered a specific time when Lucas had been here with her, the two of them sitting next to each other on the bed and complaining about how terrible their day had been. 

He’d had a bad day having to pretend he knew nothing about tying a knot, “accidentally” tying his fingers into it. Troy and a couple other kids had shoved him around at recess, and even though he hadn’t fought back they’d been persistent about getting him as dirty as possible. By the time he got home his clothes were streaked with dirt and what smelled like some type of animal poop. It’d taken a whole week to get the smell out. 

Max squeezed her eyes shut tighter when she felt tears building in them, because now she was remembering how tightly he’d hugged her just before they went to bed, how  _ warm _ he was, how  _ safe _ she’d felt with him. She’d just told him about what the other girls at school were saying about her when they thought she wasn't listening, how they were picking on her about her mom. 

She’d shut them up real quick, but the words had stuck with her all day, hurting more and more each time she thought about it. She acted like it didn’t affect her, but around Lucas she allowed herself to show how it actually made her feel, how much it hurt not to be accepted by anyone other than him, just because they’d taken everything from her. 

She trusted Lucas, because he was different. He wouldn’t hurt her. 

He’d hugged her so, so close, like she was all that mattered in the world, and she missed it so much, the care he had for her. She couldn’t overlook how he’d just dropped his anger for Troy and had comforted her right away, telling her that the girls were just mouth breathers that didn’t know how cool she was, and how unlucky they were that they didn’t get to be friends with her like he did. 

She pulled the bear closer, squeezing it tight as the first tears fell, leaking into her pillow case as a small sob fell from her lips. 

Everyday sucked, but today was one of those days where  _ everything _ she’d thought of and seen had reminded her of him. 

She’d thought of him during breakfast this morning at the mess hall, feeling guilty about eating pancakes without him. She’d thought about him while she read the ending of Hatchet this afternoon, and  _ constantly _ while the boys all played soccer, their new goalie even worse than he’d been. 

“I miss you.” She whispered shakily, the darkness slowly suffocating her, pressing her down into a deeper state of sadness too much for a nine year old to handle. “Please come home soon. Lucas, I  _ need _ you. I don’t know how much longer I can do this alone, please.” 

She pulled the blanket tighter around her in an attempt to stop herself from shaking, trying to remember Lucas’s voice when he would tell her it had just been a bad dream, wishing on everything there was to wish on that she’d wake up soon, that he’d be right here. 

Somehow she felt like he was watching out for her, keeping her safe, even though she knew he wasn’t. 

Still, it was just easier to pretend. 

She squeezed the bear even tighter, burying her face into its worn out fur, silent tears falling as she cried into the late hours of the night.

She wouldn’t be alone for much longer, and although it wouldn’t be Lucas that changed that, in a way, she was grateful for it all. 

_______________________________________

_ Present  _

“Tag! You’re it!” Max said, slapping Nate in the back of the head as she ran ahead of him. He laughed, jumping up from where he was crouching and running to catch up with her. 

Tag was actually one of the only past times they had while traveling through the endless miles of forest. That and iSpy, which Nate absolutely sucked at, Max was almost convinced he was colorblind some days. 

Tag seemed to let them be the kids they never really go to be, taking their minds off the fact that they were sixteen years old and back to the six year old life they’d never lived. 

Max jumped over the small half-frozen creek they’d just filled their water bottles up at, scrambling up the small hill on the other side, practically pulling herself up as she did, grabbing at loose roots and rocks as she heard Nate close behind her. 

There were small piles of snow coating the ground now, winter getting closer and closer everyday, the weather dropping along with it the further they ventured into the mountains. 

Max pushed her way under low-hanging tree branches and through dying bushes, purposely going through the crowded areas so that she could determine how far behind Nate was behind her just by listening to him crashing through everything. 

The dying forest floor was covered in muddy red, orange and gold leaves from fall, but the pine trees around them seemed to get bigger and bigger the deeper the dove into the forest. 

“Slow down!” Nate laughed from behind her, almost hitting his head on a hard-to-see branch, dodging it at the last second. 

“A warning would’ve been nice!” 

“Try to keep up!” She laughed, pouring on another burst of speed. She had a good fifty feet on him excluding all the obstacles in the way, and when she glanced back she could just barely make out his black windbreaker. 

She ran until she couldn’t hear him calling for her anymore, stopping behind a tree to catch her breath, her hands braced against her knees. She listened for him getting closer, hearing the occasional bird high above the trees, but no sign of footsteps. 

“Nate?” She called, standing up and moving out from behind the tree into view. Her own breathing filled the space around her as she listened for a response. No answer. “Nate!” 

She spun around, looking in every direction. The forest seemed to go eerily silent, the wind even stopping. 

“Nate—?!” A hand covered her mouth, cutting off her scream as something pulled her behind a nearby tree. Her back hit the bark.  _ Hard, _ sending a shooting sense of pain up her spine. She almost screamed out for help, but when she looked up Nate was standing in front of her, holding a finger to his lips, signaling her to be quiet. 

He slowly pulled his hand away from her mouth when he recognized the panic slip away once she realized it was him, leaning around the tree to look past her, one hand still holding her arm. 

She was noticing how close they were, could feel the way he was breathing with his chest so close to hers. 

She felt her face heating up, trying to ignore it, because they’d been close when hiding before, and she’d never thought anything of it until now. 

“What?” She whispered, trying to pull herself out of her thoughts. 

“Trackers.” He responded. 

“How many?” 

“Four? Maybe five.” He said, quickly glancing from around the tree, to her, then back to the forest behind her. 

“Crap.” 

“We gotta move.” Nate whispered, holding her eyes with his. His nose was only inches away from hers, she couldn’t help but think how if she just moved a couple inches, she could easily just—

She nodded, quickly glancing over her shoulder as an excuse to pull her gaze away from his, before the two of them pulled away from the tree, running as quietly as possible and leaving as little to track as they could manage. 

Max may have been the best self-taught tracker in Murkshore, but the Tracking Squad wasn’t too bad themselves. They’d managed to keep a trail on them for the past four and a half years, even  _ after _ she would throw them off their track for a few days. 

Nate started to make his way down a small slope, Max following close behind him, reaching out to hold onto his shoulder for balance as the two of them did as much as possible not to drag their feet or make marks in the hardened dirt. 

They’d just made it to the bottom of the hill when they heard voices just over the top. Max grabbed Nate on instinct and pulled him down into a cluster of bushes just at the base, the two of them crouching out of sight. 

“Hold!” Someone yelled, his voice deep and gravely, his command making Max flinch as it echoed around the forest. 

The other voices surrounding him went silent, as well as their footsteps, and Max knew they were surveying the entire area from just above them. 

For a moment it was as if the entire forest had frozen. The wind temporarily stopped blowing once again, the trees stopped rustling, and the birds that hadn’t yet migrated for the winter stopped chirping. 

The two of them held their breath, doing their best not to make any sudden movements. 

“You’re just making it worse for yourselves!” The same man called, the harsh raspiness in his voice making Nate flinch this time. “Come out now and there won’t be any violence, but keep this up and there will be a price to pay. I can promise you that.” 

Max instinctively looked at Nate, and he looked back. She waited for him to have a plan, because he always did, but his Adam’s apple just bobbed in his throat as he looked back at her. 

“Wouldn’t want your little boyfriend to disappear like last time would you?” 

Max felt her blood boil, ready to stand as her vision went red, but Nate reached a hand out, setting it on her arm and holding her back. 

“Don’t give in. You  _ know _ that.” 

“They killed him.” she hissed. “I’ll kill them. I swear I’ll kill them all for what they did to him.” 

“And if you just attack them they’re going to kill  _ both _ of us. Just  _ stay.” _ He commanded, his sea-green eyes boring into hers as he stared back at her. She glared at him, her chest rising and falling with each angry breath. 

“I know you’d like nothing more than strangle them all for what they’ve done to you.” He whispered. “But I think you’re forgetting that you’re not the only one that lost your family. I lost my dad and then Silas on recruitment two months before my birthday. My mom turned to alcohol and neglected me even to the point she thought I’d been taken away too. She didn’t feed me, didn’t get me clothes when I started growing and she didn’t even acknowledge the fact that I was sneaking out every night to go to your house so that we could find a route to get away. We’re not that different, Max. You’re all I have left, and I’m all you have left, and after running for so long, we’re not giving in just because they’re finding a way to hit a nerve.” 

She felt her anger drain away as she listened to him, thankful that he was here to keep her from spiraling. 

“We’re gonna get away from this, just like we do every  _ other freaking time, _ and we’re going to keep running until we lose them. Until we’re safe.” Max nodded, sinking back against her heels. 

“How touching.” A voice said. The two of them snapped their gaze upwards. They’d forgotten to keep lookout, and now there was a six-foot something Russian looking soldier dude walking over towards them, a sleek black rifle in hand and a handlebar mustache stuck disgustingly across his upper lip, as if it was poorly drawn on by a toddler. 

The rest of the men were standing at the top of the hill, their guns trained on the two of them, backing up their leader. 

“Now.” He said with a sneer, stopping in front of them. “I’ll give you one last chance. You can turn yourself in, and we’ll take you back calmly,  _ or _ I can shoot the boy here.” As if to emphasize his point he lazily pointed his rifle at Nate’s head, making him tense. 

“What’ll it be missy?” The nickname nearly made Max kick the man's feet out from under him, but she held herself back. She couldn’t risk any sudden movements with a gun pointing between Nate’s eyes. 

“What do you need  _ me _ for?” She asked calmly, a layer of hatred hidden underneath as she tried to stall, to think of an escape route, but it seemed as if the soldier could read her mind. 

“You’re surrounded, if that’s what you’re trying to get at.” He said, not answering her question. “Three seconds to decide before I pump your boyfriend here full of lead.” 

“He’s not my boy—”

“3!”

“Ok, ok, ok.” Max said quickly, holding her hands up in surrender. “We’re coming ok, we’re coming.” 

Nate’s eyes went wide as he glanced at her, but she just looked at him, and his expression relaxed, because he knew that look on her face enough to know when she had a plan. 

“Up,  _ boy.” _ The soldier spit, gesturing with his gun, still pointed at his face. “Hands where I can see them.” 

Nate got to his feet, never taking his eyes away from the man, Max standing up beside him. 

“Good.” He replied, his mustache twitching as he dropped the gun back to his side. “Now. I suppose you’ve noticed my men?” 

He gestured to the four other people at the top of the hill, giving the two of them time to survey each of them. 

Two of the boys looked around the age, not much older than the two of them, one maybe younger. 

The rifle shook in the smaller of the two’s hands, while the other had a smirk on his face, like he couldn’t wait to shoot them. 

All of them were dressed in the familiar dark black suits, without the helmets on though, which Max found strange, though she didn’t mention it. There was a gold printed  _ Tracker _ badge on their chests, but it didn’t seem at all impressive, just like the job to give to the newcomers based on the younger boy’s nervousness. 

“I’ll take a shot and guess you two aren’t stupid, correct?” The man asked, who Max knew for certain this was clearly the leader of the group. He had more badges and pins surrounding his  _ Tracker _ ID.

“No sir.” Nate said confidently. 

“Good. I like this one.” He said to Max, patting Nate on the chest as if they’d been good friends their whole lives. 

He turned away from them, his first mistake. 

“Now—” Before he could finish, Max kicked the back of his leg, sending him to his knees as Nate, in one fluid motion, snagged his hand gun from the holster at his hip and pistol whipped him across the side of his head, the general falling to the forest floor, out cold. 

The other four soldiers were too stunned to respond, giving the two of them just enough time to start running. 

“Go!” Nate said, tugging at Max’s arm as they took off deeper into the forest.

Almost as quickly as they’d started to run, bullets started to rain down around them, shredding the little remaining leaves off the trees and stripping the bark from the trunks. 

“Split up.” Nate said, tossing her the pistol as they continued to run. “We’ll lose their trail and meet back at the river.” 

Max nodded, switching the gun to safety before shoving it in the back of her jeans, using a half broken branch to pivot her momentum around a tree. She was aware of Nate pulling out his rifle as he split off the other way. 

The rhythm of her feet pounding against the hardened dirt and snow zeroed her in on her surroundings, taking in everything and nothing all at once. 

Her backpack straps felt heavier on her shoulders, while the gun felt like it was burning an imprint against the small of her back. 

Some of the snow in this area was melting, and some of the leaves were torn, meaning the trackers had been this way. There was a small branch snapped in half as it hung from a dead bush, which no one else would’ve noticed if they weren’t looking for it. 

When the voices disappeared completely she slowed to a stop, crouching behind a fallen log, sucking in long, deep, cold filled breaths. 

That was close, too close. She kept remembering Nate knocking the soldier out, and as much as she  _ wanted _ to be impressed and acknowledge how  _ attractive _ he’d seemed in the moment, but all she could focus on was how they’d promised to protect each other no matter what, and now they were separated. 

Suddenly a gunshot rang out, echoing throughout the silent forest, followed by a scream of pain, one that she knew all too well, and her heart flip-flopped. “Nate.” 

She pushed away from the log, grabbing the gun from her jeans and running faster than before. She dodged low hanging branches and shoved herself through the thick shrubbery towards the source of the sound. 

Another shot rang out, and this time Max didn’t hear a scream. Her stomach dropped, and she forced her legs to move faster, panting hard. She ran out into a clearing, freezing at what she saw in front of her. 

One of the younger soldiers, the older and more confident one, stood with an arm wrapped around Nate’s neck as he struggled against him, fighting to breathe. The soldier’s pistol was pointed at Nate’s head, a nasty smirk on his face as he looked at her. 

“Why don’t I make this more fun.” The boy said once she’d recovered from her initial shock. “For every question you don’t answer correctly, I shoot him someplace new.” He tightened his grip on Nate’s neck, almost raising him off the ground and making him gasp for air as his face reddened, his hands tugging at the older boy's arm. 

“Miss three…” he pressed the barrel of his pistol against Nate’s temple. “And I shoot him without a second thought.” 

Max swallowed, her heart-beat quickening.  _ Think. Think. Think.  _

“Question one.” Nate elbowed the boy in the stomach, making him groan in pain, but immediately after earning himself a bullet to the foot. 

Nate yelled out in pain, still gasping for breath. 

“Names?” 

“Shove it...up your—” Nate gasped. The older boy hit him in the stomach with the butt of his pistol, Nate trying to double over in pain but failing with the arm still around his neck, coughing harshly. 

“Stop!” Max said, taking a step forward. “Stop. Ok? I’ll answer your stupid questions just  _ stop hurting him.” _

“Good. Then we’re in agreement. Names.  _ Now.”  _

“Maxine Mayfeild.” She said immediately. 

“And him?” This time she hesitated. 

Was it worth it to put Nate in even more danger? It was her fault he was even being hunted in the first place, and if they wanted her so bad, why not just let Nate escape? 

Luckily she didn’t have to decide, because Nate answered for her. 

“Nathanial—Walker.” He said, seemingly finding enough air to breathe out the two words. 

“Good. Question two. Where is he?” 

“What?” Max asked. “Who?” The boy moved his gun down, shooting Nate in the back of the leg without hesitation, sending another wail of pain out into the forest. 

“Stop! I don’t know who you’re talking about, I swear!” 

“I don’t tolerate lying.” 

“I’m not lying!” He moved the gun to Nate’s head once again. 

“Don‘t—”

“Last chance. Tell me. Or he dies.” Max opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. 

Even with his eyes full of tears of pain Nate seemed confident, straightening up as if preparing to die with honor. 

“I swear. I don’t know who…I swear please.” She suddenly remembered the pistol in her hand, her fingers unintentionally squeezing the handle a little too quickly. The boy’s eyes flicked downward at the movements, his finger tightened around the trigger. “No stop! I don’t know, I swear.” 

His expression changed when he realized she was telling the truth, but it didn’t last long. “Even if you don’t.” He said, a maniacal smile spreading on his face. “It’ll be fun to watch him die, won’t it?” 

Nate didn’t struggle this time, instead looked her dead in the eye, mouthing two words: shoot him. She swallowed. 

It was one thing to threaten, it was another to actually follow through. It was different now on the other end of the gun, the end that wouldn’t kill her, but someone else, take someone else’s life. 

She wasn’t a killer, neither was Nate, but if she didn’t do something soon...he was going to die. 

She set her jaw, staring back at the two of them. 

“I’ll give you a head start till the count of three, or you get to see him drop before I kill you too.” The boy hissed. “3…” 

Max looked from the boy to Nate, two totally different people, one enjoying himself and the other close to passing out. 

“2…” 

“Max…” Nate gasped. To anyone else he may have sounded desperate, like he was telling her to take the older boy’s suggestion and run, but when she met his eyes they flicked down to the gun in her hands, signaling her to get ready, and she knew what he was planning. She nodded, just slightly. 

“1—” the sound of the gunshot rang out, but it didn’t meet its target, Nate using the boy's own leverage against him, ducking under his arm and pushing him towards Max. Without thinking she raised the gun, but before she could pull the trigger a very defined  _ zip _ broke the air around them, and the boy fell to the ground. 

_ Dead. _

Max looked up at Nate, his eyes wide, and she knew she had the same look on her face. 

“Sniper.” The both said. She looked stupidly around them, as if there’d been someone standing less than ten feet away. The fact that they might be being watched right now didn’t even occur to her until Nate had grabbed her arm, pulling her away. 

“Go.” He hissed, starting to jog, holding his leg as he moved ahead of her, limping just a little bit from being shot. She noticed that Nate had grabbed the boy’s rifle, throwing the strap over his shoulder. 

She shook herself out of her shock, focusing on him as she shoved the gun back in the back of her jeans, covering it with her backpack. 

“You ok?” 

“Fine. Go!” Without asking she ducked under his arm, pulling it over her shoulders to ease some of the pressure off of his leg as the two of them moved deeper into the forest, as far away as they could from the sounds of the soldiers calling to each other around the forest. 

Neither one of them spoke until they’d reached a point of pure silence, listening carefully for any signs of  _ anything, _ occasionally flinching even when it was nothing more than a chipmunk _. _

“Where’s your gun?” Max asked after a while, feeling somewhat safer, now realizing that he didn’t have it, which is why he had replaced it. 

“Broke it.” He winced. “Knocked one of the other guys out when I ran out of ammo. 

“You’re on a roll today, huh?” 

“Shut up.” He winced again, dropping a little as his injured foot slipped out from him, Max just barely managing to keep him standing. “We gotta stop.” 

“Uh, ok.” She surveyed their surroundings. 

They’d reached a drop off, sloping down about a hundred feet, before leveling out back into endless amounts of trees.

There was a small stream, leading into the river that still ran somewhere close by, its rapids still loud enough for them to hear. 

“There.” Nate pointed breathlessly, dropping his head as he caught his breath. Max followed his arm, spotting a patch of vines growing over a wall of rocks, several large trees surrounding it and almost camouflaging it from view unless you were looking really closely. Some of the trees had fallen down, balancing on top of the giant rocks like a nature-made shelter. 

She hoisted Nate’s arm further over her shoulders, pulling him along behind her. 

_____ ______ _____ ______ _____ ______

“Aggghhhhh.” Nate yelled, his swearing muffled by the towel Max had shoved in his mouth after the first  _ three _ times he’d yelled out into the silent forest. The last thing they needed was to be found while he was hurt. 

He was laying on his back on the ground, holding what she was pretty sure was a small stick in between his two hands, pressing it against his forehead as if that somehow made the pain go away. 

“Sorry.” She said, biting back the urge to tell him to shut up. “Cleaning it’s the worst part. I just gotta wrap it.” 

“Just do it fast.” He said, tossing the stick somewhere over his head into the bushes, running his hands over his face. 

Max unwrapped a longer piece of bandage than she’d used for his foot, wrapping it around his leg as tightly as she could get it. Nate swore under his breath again, taking off his hat and running a hand through his hair.

“Would you quit swearing?” 

“You swear  _ all _ the time.” He groaned. 

“Not excessively, just to add emphasis.” 

“Yesterday you called me a worthless piece of—.”

“Not the point.” She interrupted, smiling to herself and pulling the remaining part of the bandage tight and securing it, making Nate whimper involuntarily. “The point is, if you keep yelling you’re going to attract more attention to us.” 

“They would’ve come by now.” He said, sitting up and pushing his pant leg back down, scooting back up against the fallen log he’d been resting his head against, grunting slightly as he did so. “I think we’re good for a little bit.” 

“They probably had to go get back up since we took out half their men.” She said with a smile. 

“Um, ex- _ cuse _ me.  _ I _ took out half their men.” 

“I kicked the first one.” 

“And then I knocked him out. What’s your point?” 

“We’re a team, dummy. That’s how this works. You do the heavy labor, I take the credit.” 

“Ok, Zoomer.” He mocked, pulling his baseball cap over his eyes and folding his arms across his chest as he crossed his ankles over each other. 

“You haven’t called me Zoomer since we left.” She smirked. 

“That’s because I just remembered it. You don’t have your little scooter thing anymore to remind me.” 

“If you’re so dense you don’t know what a  _ skateboard _ is called I’m just going to leave you here.” 

“You wouldn’t survive a  _ day _ without me.” He laughed. “You’d come back just to get a hug or something.” 

She was glad his hat was over his eyes, because her face was heating up. 

“I win.” He said when she didn’t answer. “What’s that now? Nate: 5, Max: 4?” 

“You’re keeping track of our arguments?” She laughed. 

“Just day by day. If I did every argument ever I would’ve lost track by now.” 

“We don’t even argue that much.” 

“Yes we do.” 

“No we don’t.” 

“Yes we do. Thanks for proving my point. Nate: 6, Max—.” She threw a pine cone at him, which bounced harmlessly off his arm, but he didn’t react or make any effort to throw it back at her, just laughed and threw it off to the side. 

“You good?” She laughed back, because normally he would’ve chucked it back harder. 

“Mhm.” He mumbled. “Leave me alone.” 

“You going to sleep?” He didn’t answer, making her throw another pine cone at him. 

“Nate?” He still didn’t answer, and after listening for a moment she realized he’d already passed out. She scoffed, shaking her head. 

“You were awake and talking two minutes ago.” She said to herself, slightly envious as she stood up, grabbing the blanket that was wrapped up in his sleeping bag and walking over to where he was laying. 

She sat down next to him, laying it over the top of him and pulling his head onto her lap so he didn’t get a cramp from being so weirdly propped up on the log. 

They hadn’t even eaten dinner yet, but she wasn’t even really hungry. She was just glad he was safe, and not laying dead on the ground with a bullet through his head. 

She remembered how ready she’d been to pull the trigger. To take that kid’s life even though it wasn’t hers to take. 

Until now she hadn’t remembered that the pistol was on safety, so she would’ve been too late even if that sniper hadn’t taken the shot for her, but she’d been ready to  _ kill _ for Nate, in an instant, and that was scarier to her than anything. 

No hesitation, just anything she had to do to save him. 

She picked up his baseball cap, putting it on. It was too big for her, like always, but she didn’t mind, she just liked stealing his stuff to annoy him. 

She gently ran her hand through his hair, the soft golden brown waves slipping easily through her fingers, the sudden movement making him roll to his side, shuffling closer. 

Somehow, his hair was always soft. She didn’t play with it a lot, just sometimes when he was falling asleep or just sitting next to her. It helped him relax, and she was pretty sure she remembered him telling her something about his mom doing it when he was a little kid.

“Night loser.” She whispered, pulling the blanket further over his shoulder as the sun finally slipped under the horizon, blanketing the forest in darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this Monday and then I was busy and kept forgetting.  
> I have a love hate relationship with this chapter, I’m not sure why. Maybe just because I wrote chapter 3 and I’m excited to post it? Idk.  
> I kinda wanted to show how strong Max and Nate’s friendship has grown over the years from them first meeting to the present so I hope I got that across.  
> I’m seriously excited for next chapter, more particularly the ending, but that should be out soon, instead of weeks later like I’ve been posting lately.  
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated


	3. Focus

_ 5 Years Earlier  _

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Nate whispered, his voice underlined with nervousness. Max looked around what had been her home since before she could remember, the only place she’d ever really been able to be herself, or feel safe. 

The only place she’d ever once had family.

“Yeah.” She whispered, her voice weaker than she meant for it to be. 

They’d been planning to leave for over a year now, but the fact that they were actually doing it was starting to catch up with her. The reality that she’d never come back was hitting her harder than expected. 

“You got everything right?” Nate whispered. She nodded, mentally going through their checklist of supplies. 

Nate had enough food and water in his backpack to last them at least a couple years if they rationed it well enough, as well as their current clothes and supplies for hunting and surviving, like knives, hatchets, a map, bandages and several boxes of matches and emergency fire making supplies. 

In her bag she had some of her mom’s, her dad’s, and  _ Nate’s _ dad’s extra jeans, t-shirts, hoodies and tennis shoes, just in case the ones they currently had ended up getting too small before they found somewhere else to go. Nate had started to finally hit a growth spurt, and had already raided his brother Silas’s closet now that he was gone. Pretty soon those clothes weren’t going to fit him either. 

She also had a crap-ton of ammo for Nate’s rifle, and anything that could provide some entertainment, including a pack of his face cards, a few books the both of them had picked out, her sketchbook and the teddy bear that she hadn’t admitted packing to Nate just yet. She didn’t  _ need _ it, but she wasn’t ready to leave it behind. 

“I think so.” She finally said, mentally double checking everything. “Is there anything else you need from your house?” 

“No.” He avoided her gaze, his face a little more pale than usual as he sat on the bed with his own backpack already on, staring blankly at the wall across from him. “It’ll be harder to leave if I go back.” She nodded, knowing exactly how he felt. 

She wanted to leave, but she still wanted to believe that  _ maybe _ there was a chance her mom or dad could come back, maybe even Billy, or Silas, but the longer they stayed the more danger Nate was put in of disappearing along with them, and after everything, Max didn’t want to see him go too. 

“Outside lights should be off…” Nate looked down at his watch. “—now.” Almost exactly on cue the little slivers of light seeping in from the courtyard outside through the cracks in the wall disappeared, leaving them in almost complete darkness except for the lamp on the table. 

“Show time.” He whispered, his voice strained. 

“Are you  _ sure _ about this?” Max asked him, subconsciously touching the face of the watch on her opposite wrist, a nervous habit that had formed over the years. “I don’t want to put you in any more danger than you’re already in—” 

“Hey.” He interrupted, standing up and walking over to her, his face highlighted by the orange flames of the burning lamp. 

“I told you we were doing this together didn’t I?”

“Yeah but—” 

“No buts. I’m not backing out now. We promised to protect each other and I’m not going back on that.” Max felt a shiver run down her spine as she looked at him, the two of them practically eye level. 

His words sounded so much like Lucas it hurt. 

“Ok.” She whispered, secretly relieved, an unseen weight she hadn’t realized had been there lifting from her shoulders. If he had backed out there’s no way she could’ve gone alone. “You’ve got the gun?” 

“Yeah.” He said, reaching to grab the long rectangular object from off the bed, and even though in the darkness it was almost unidentifiable, Max knew it was the rifle she’d found hidden under all of her dad's old clothes in his chest while they were packing. 

“Ready?” 

Nate swallowed, his knuckles turning white under the glow of the candlelight as he gripped the handle. “Yeah.” He breathed. “Let’s go.” 

Max pulled open the big, heavy steel door, peering down both sides of the hallway. Just as she suspected it would be at two in the morning, it was almost pitch black, no one was in sight. 

“We’re clear.” She whispered, slipping into the hallway and feeling Nate follow behind her, slowly closing the door as quietly as he possibly could. 

“Should we use the flashlight now?” He whispered, so close she almost jumped. 

“No. We’ll attract too much attention. We need to wait until we’re at least outside the gates.” She blindly reached out for him, finding his arm. She trailed her hand down his hoodie sleeve, holding onto his wrist, the familiar shape of his leather bracelet pressing against her palm. He was shaking slightly, but he hadn’t said anything about it yet. “Stick close together, ok?” 

Nate must’ve nodded, because he didn’t answer right away. “Ok. Lead the way, Zoomer.” 

They both took a hesitant step forward, then another, trying to make as little noise as possible on the loose metal floor panels as they pulled each other along. 

They walked together, in the dark, Max constantly checking to make sure Nate was really still there, and that she hadn’t subconsciously let go of him and lost him while she had been stuck in her own head. 

Her eyes adjusted to the darkness just enough for her to see the familiar curves on the walls, twisting and turning as they slowly but surely made their way towards the end of the long hallway. 

Somewhere along the way Nate had squirmed out of her grip and grabbed her hand instead, but she hadn’t noticed until now. The feeling of his hand in hers was comforting, and not in the weird lovey-dovey gooey crap she saw the other teenagers doing since they’d all started pairing off, because her and Nate weren’t like that, but even with that fact in mind it still made her face heat up. 

While they’d been planning escape routes and hadn’t really been paying attention, more and more of the kids their age and even some of the adults had decided that if you were a  _ girl, _ and were friends with a  _ boy, _ you were automatically dating, which was  _ stupid, _ because Max knew that sooner or later most or even all of those boys would be drafted anyways, so they’re was no point in falling in love with them. 

The two of them had been friends way before that rule had even been established, they’d known each other nearly four years now, and had been actual  _ friends _ for almost two of them, but no one seemed to want to hear their side, purposely steering clear of them whenever the two of them were together and whispering about them when they thought the two of them wouldn’t notice. 

It didn’t bother them, not really, because it gave them more time to talk about leaving, and getting away, but right now, Max realized that holding his hand was comforting in the way that he was real, and she wasn’t alone. 

“We’re here.” Nate said, pulling her back into the present, all her senses rebooting automatically. She was suddenly aware that she could now feel the cold air seeping into her hoodie from the door in front of them, leading out into the wide open courtyard. 

They had one chance to get across. If they got caught…

“We’ll be fine.” He said, as if reading her mind. He squeezed her hand, reassuring her. “Just stick close. Remember?” 

Max nodded, taking a deep breath as she reached forward, her free hand closing around the cold, thin metal handle. “Ready?” 

“No. But it’s now or never.” She blew out a breath and pulled the door open, the two of them shielding their eyes against the bluish-silver moonlight that washed over them, seeming a thousand times brighter than normal after just stepping out of complete darkness. 

The courtyard was completely empty, as well as the playground, the soccer field, town hall, the church and the school fields at the opposite ends of the village.

Murkshore had never looked so deserted. 

“It looks...dead.” Nate said, swallowing hard. Max nodded in agreement. 

“Cmon.” She said, tugging at his hand that she was just noticing she hadn’t let go of yet. “Guards will probably still do rounds every once and awhile. We don’t wanna have them find us just standing here out in the open.” Nate nodded, dropping her hand as he adjusted the straps of his backpack higher up his shoulders, the rifle still held tight in his other hand. 

“Cut over to the field first,” He instructed, the two of them already moving in that direction, their steps slowly turning into a jog. “Then we can stick close to the fence past town hall and cut straight through the playground.” 

They looked one more time back the way they’d come, before they ran across the soccer field, avoiding the muddy parts that had never really seemed to go away. The last thing they needed was to leave footprints. 

They saw the first guard when they reached the fence. 

Nate yanked Max down suddenly, covering her mouth as he crouched beside her so that she didn’t yell out in surprise. Without needing to be asked he slowly raised his arm, pointing the rifle just across the field to where they’d been standing only minutes before, gesturing to a single guard pacing the area, his own rifle in hand. 

Even at night he still wore the motorcycle helmet, the visor glinting in the moonlight. The skin tight black muscle suit almost hid him in the darkness, and they probably never would’ve seen him if it wasn’t for the moon being out tonight, illuminating everything in its path. 

“Will he see us?” Max whispered, reaching up to gently pull Nate’s hand away from her mouth. 

“I think the shadows are hiding us pretty well right now, but we can’t stay here for long.” 

“Agreed. But I don’t have to. Look.” She pointed back towards the guard, who was boredly walking around the other side of the sleeping quarters building, his feet dragging lazily. 

Nate looked over at her, nodding just enough for her to know it was time to keep moving. They both pushed themselves out of the damp grass, dew clinging to the knees of their jeans and their sneakers as they slipped behind the walls of the town hall building. 

It was a tight squeeze between the bricks and the tall metal wall that outlines the borders of Murkshore, but the good thing about being kids was that no one else could follow them back here, and they were both small enough that even  _ with _ their backpacks on, they could still fit.

Nate was in front this time, peeking around the corner of the building and looking left and then right before turning back towards her. “Two guards just left the area, they’re heading towards the church. We have a straight shot.” 

“You're sure there aren't any more of them?” 

“I’m sure.” He said, glancing over his shoulder for good measure. “Straight shot, and we're home free.” 

Max swallowed, trying to slow her breathing, her heart beating so fast she  _ swore _ even Nate could hear it. 

“Ready?” She whispered. She took a nervous breath, but looked back at him confidently. 

“Ready.” He said. 

They ran, their shoes making small slapping noises against the dirt as they did, but not loud enough to alert anyone. 

Here, just at the edge of the town borders and the beginning of the forest, there were thousands of cicadas, masking any noises that could possibly give them away. 

“Cmon.” Nate said, the two of them reaching the lowest point in the wall, maybe only a foot lower than the usual fifteen or so feet, but just low enough for Nate to reach it when he jumped, pulling himself up. 

“Hurry.” Max hissed, watching as he disappeared up and over the other side. 

She waited. 

And waited. 

_ Then _ started to panic. 

“Nate?” She whispered. He wouldn’t just leave her would he? He wouldn’t get out and just leave her? 

On the other hand—

He had all the food, all the water, all the supplies he would ever need to survive all crowded into his backpack. 

She didn’t want to think he’d do something like that, just leave her after everything, but no matter how much she argued  _ for _ him her thoughts still tried to convince herself otherwise.

She’d only known him a couple years now. Were they even really that close? Their relationship couldn't just mean nothing. Right? Did she even really mean  _ anything _ to him? 

She unintentionally started bouncing on the balls of her feet, moving around anxiously. 

“Nate!” 

Someone called out something behind her, but she was too panicked to see if it was at her or not. 

Her throat closed painfully, limiting her breathing. 

“Nate please, no. Nate!” 

“I’m here.” He said, appearing at the top of the wall again, out of breath and his backpack nowhere in sight as he reached down for her. “Give me your bag.” 

“What, why?” 

“Because it’s  _ heavy _ and it’ll be easier to help you up if you  _ aren’t _ wearing it. Hurry.” She hesitantly took her backpack off, lifting it as high as she could with both arms. 

He leaned down and grabbed it, before pulling himself back up and disappearing over the top again, but only for a second, before reappearing at the top, reaching for her this time. “Cmon.” 

She grabbed his hand, bracing a foot against the wall as he pulled her up and over the top. 

They dropped down on the other side of the wall, into a large cluster of bushes, their bags set off to the side.

Max could see a small tree growing right beside the wall, her tracking skills kicking in instinctively as she noticed the bark scraped off just enough to realize that’s how Nate had climbed back up. 

“Hey.” He grabbed her shoulders, making her jump as he turned her towards him. “We made it.” He said, smiling through his laughter. 

“We’re out. We’re free.” She smiled, all the panicked thoughts slowly receding as she looked around at the endless lines of trees, dark shapes climbing all the way up the mountains in the distance. 

“We’re free.” She repeated, without meaning to. 

“Yes, Max. We’re out.” Nate said, still smiling. She smiled, taking it all in. 

The nature. 

She’d never actually seen it from this side of the wall before, it was so  _ open, _ and  _ big _ and—

One of the men shouted across the courtyard to what sounded like one of the other guards from behind the gate, something that sounded like an insult, though she couldn’t identify if it was meant to be a joke or not. 

“Not to burst your bubble but,” she turned towards Nate. “We’re literally standing right outside the boundaries, they could still come get us.” 

His smile fell, his expression hardening. “Oh, yeah, right. Um…” he cleared his throat, turning around toward where their backpacks were, stepping over the overgrown bushes to reach them. 

He picked her bag up, extending his arm out to her to give it to her. Since he was stupid and was wearing a t-shirt instead of at least a hoodie, she could see the muscles in his forearm straining under the force of the weight as he did so. 

She pretended she didn’t. 

She took it from him, pulling it on over her shoulders. Until now she hadn’t really realized how much lighter she felt without it, she had to get used to the weight. 

“Let’s walk as far as we can tonight.” Nate whispered, leading the way. “Then we can rest and look at the map in the morning to decide where we’re going.” 

“Ok.” She agreed, subconsciously glancing at the rifle in his hand. She didn’t mean to be scared—no not scared—anxious about it. 

It was her dads. 

And Nate was holding it, meaning she was safe. But she couldn’t control the way her heart skipped a beat when she remembered the day they’d all watched the bombing announcement at dinner, where she saw several boys, all around her age, dying to guns that looked the exact same as that one. 

She still remembered the panic she’d felt when she realized what that meant for Lucas. 

She remembered not being able to breathe as she left the church building, and darkness pressing down on her from every side as she reached her living quarters. 

She remembered being so stuck in her thoughts she couldn’t even find an escape into reality. 

She remembered Nate had followed her, and him being there despite her best efforts trying to keep him away, somehow managing to calm her down. 

She remembered feeling somewhat protected and cared for that night for the first time in a long time, and finally letting him into her life because she was scared, and hurt, and because he hadn’t left her like everyone else had—

After everything, Nate was still here—

“You ok?” She nodded before even registering what he had said, pulling her eyes away from the gun, her thoughts becoming a little less fuzzy. 

“Yeah sorry. Just...thinking.” 

“About what?” She didn’t have an answer for that. It didn’t matter that they’d been friends for years, showing emotion around him, especially fear, was a  _ big _ no. 

She’d dragged him into this, she was going to be the brave one, and she wasn’t going to hold him back with her fear. 

“Everything.” She finally decided, keeping her eyes on the forest floor as she found her footing up the small slope they were climbing. 

“Lucas?” 

“No.” She admitted. “Not really.” 

“If you wanna talk about him so that it doesn’t hurt as bad…” he hesitated, glancing over at her. “You know I’m here.” 

“I know.” She whispered. “I’m just...not ready for that yet.” 

“Ok.” He said, and that was that. He didn’t push her, didn’t try to get anything out of her. 

That’s what she liked about having him around; he didn’t pester her, he knew when she just needed him to shut up and sit with her through panic attacks, because after being abandoned for so long, his presence was more comforting than anything else, but he also knew when he was supposed to dig a little deeper to get her to talk. 

“Do you think there’s actually another settlement?” She asked, trying to get him to talk just so she didn’t have to keep thinking. “Somewhere we can be safe?” 

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “The map said—.” but she didn’t get to hear the end of his sentence, because suddenly a ear-splitting shriek sounded all around them, the two of them jumping as bright red lights started flashing from the towers positioned around the walls of Murkshore that they’d never noticed before. 

“Crap.” Nate whispered, realization flashing across his face. 

“What?” 

“There's border control.” He said, tugging at the sleeve of her jacket as he started to jog in the opposite direction, putting more distance between them and the village. 

“Border control?” 

“An invisible electric border that traces the boundaries a couple hundred feet away from the town wall. We just learned about it in class last week and I forgot to tell you. It’s so we can be alerted if any threats get too close.” 

“Or someone is trying to escape.” Max said, swallowing hard.

“Yeah.” He huffed, running a hand through his hair. “Don’t look back. Just keep running and don’t get split up.” 

“Nate wait—.” 

“We can’t wait!” He said loudly, his voice underlined in a panic. “We need to go, Max.  _ Now. _ If they get us they’ll take us back. They’ll take me away from you.” 

“I know...” she swallowed, glancing back down the small hill they’d climbed towards the slowly waking town. She wanted to tell him how thankful she was that he hadn’t left her, that he’d stayed, but now wasn’t the time. 

“Ok.” She whispered confidently, his expression relaxing a little as she faced him. “Let’s go.”

_______________________________________

“Max, we need to stop.” Nate said, his voice barely a whisper, but still making her jump even though he’d been walking right beside her for hours now. 

Neither of them had spoken a word since they’d left Murkshore, the close call they’d had with the invisible trip wire alarm scaring them both into a deafening state of silence. 

They’d walked and occasionally  _ run _ who-knew-how-many miles through the heavily crowded forest, the sounds of the alarms slowly fading into nothing more than a distant whine, and even though her feet were aching she’d forced herself to keep going without complaining. 

She was so tired that her brain was constantly on guard and paranoid that at any moment a soldier was going to jump out of the bushes and take them both back at gunpoint. 

Every stick Nate’s shoes broke and every bush that rustled sent her into another temporary panic. 

She nodded in answer to Nate’s suggestion, but continued to walk with her head down and her hands shoved into her hoodie pockets, the two of them silently seeking out a place to rest. 

When they finally came to a little break in the trees, the ground flat enough for them to sit down and just wide enough for them to stretch their legs out, they both carelessly dropped their backpacks and wearily lowered themselves down onto the dirt without a word, neither worrying about it because of how dirty they already were. 

“We need to sleep if we want to keep going.” Nate said, his voice scratchy from not talking for so long. The sun had only gone down a couple of hours ago, and from the glowing numbers on her watch Max knew it would come up in a couple more, but Nate was right, they needed to rest. She wasn’t sure she could go any further even if she wanted to. 

She couldn’t find enough strength or the words to answer him, instead pulling her knees to her chest, resting her chin on top of them, her eyes instinctively trained on the trees in front of her, several images of guards coming for her flooding her thoughts all at once because that’s what she was expecting. 

She kept thinking about Lucas in a guard uniform, older and stronger than the last time she’d seen him, getting sent to fight in that war. 

She was now acknowledging the fact that she was  _ angry, _ but she wasn’t sure if it was at herself for not fighting harder or at him for not coming back to her like he’d promised or at the  _ idiots _ that sent him onto the battlefield in the first place. She’d only found out that he was really,  _ really _ gone about two years ago, after they’d watched the bombing. She thought it would get better, but everyday it seemed to get worse and worse instead. 

The last few days leading up to her and Nate leaving had been weighing down on her like a ton of bricks as reality finally set in, as she realized that he wouldn’t be there with her. 

Never, ever again. 

He wasn’t coming back. 

This was  _ real. _

Lucas was...he was dead... 

She’d been denying the fact for so long, but now she was realizing how  _ true _ it was, and all she’d been thinking about for the last few hours, was how much it actually hurt her to accept it. 

She felt a shoulder bump hers, and she jumped, forgetting about how weak she’d been feeling before as she whipped around towards Nate, forgetting he was there, his hands held up in defense as she shrunk away from him. 

“Woah, hey. It’s ok.” He said. Max felt her expression change involuntarily, falling before she could stop it. She quickly turned away from him so that he didn’t see, but he did. He always saw. 

“Max. Hey, it’s ok.” He scooted closer, wrapping his arms around her, and this time she didn’t flinch away, turning just enough to hug him back, burying her face against his chest. 

He was shaking a little still, and she knew she was too, but whether it was from the cold or all the adrenaline wearing off she wasn’t sure. 

“It’s ok.” Nate whispered again, but his own voice was strained and suddenly at those two little words she felt herself breaking down, tears leaking down her cheeks even though she was squeezing her eyes shut. She pressed herself deeper against him, holding him closer as she started to cry, trying her best to do it silently so that he didn’t know. 

“We’re ok.” Nate said. “We’re ok.” 

He whispered the words over and over until she’d run out of tears, but she continued to hold onto him until all that was left was a long fit of sniffles, now slightly embarrassed as she pulled away from him. 

“Sorry.” She said, wiping at her face without meeting his eyes. 

She was  _ twelve _ years old, and crying over the  _ dumbest _ reasons. All because she’d run away from what shouldn’t have  _ ever _ been her home, with the  _ only _ real person left that even cared about what happened to her, and on  _ top of that, _ she missed someone that had been gone for  _ six _ years already, which she knew was excessive, but she couldn’t stop it. 

Nate reminded her of him so much. 

Sometimes she found herself pretending that maybe, just maybe, they could be the same person, that Lucas had never really left, but deep down she knew that was wrong. It wasn’t fair to Nate having to be compared to someone he’d never ever met, or seen as someone other than himself. 

He was Nathaniel Joseph Walker, the  _ only _ person that had been there for her for the past almost four years now, even when she’d been  _ persistent _ in pushing him away. He was her best friend, he was  _ not _ Lucas. 

“You don’t need to be sorry.” Nate said, pushing away a loose strand of hair that had fallen out of her ponytail, bending down a little to look at her. “I get that leaving was hard. That was scary. I’m still scared too. It’s ok.” 

She nodded, trying to agree with him, but she found herself trying to explain, to get him to understand how it wasn’t just fear. 

“It’s just that…” she swallowed, picking up a dead leaf off the ground and tearing it into tiny pieces. 

“I’d always imagined Lucas would be with me when I left. But now…now I’ve actually  _ done _ it, and it was  _ without him _ and I just…” she wiped at her face with her sleeve again. “I don’t know what I’m doing or where we’re going or how to survive.” 

“I don’t either.” Nate said lightly, making the corners of her lips tug into a small smile. He had that effect. “But we’ll figure it out. Together. Ok?” 

“I’ve heard that before.” She said before she could stop it, the words almost too quiet for him to hear, but he did. Of course he did. 

His expression fell as he looked at her, and Max looked back down at the now shredded leaf in her hand, regretting her words instantly, doing everything in her power not to meet his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, by the way.” He whispered. Her hands stopped tearing at the leaf, waiting for him to continue, because there wasn’t anything he had to be sorry for. Nothing at all. “About your parents and your brother and Lucas. I know it’s been hard and I don’t know if anyone's ever cared enough to check up on you after everything that's happened, but I’m sorry. For all of it.” 

Her throat tightened, more tears threatening to spill. “Thank you.” Max whispered, because no. No one ever  _ had _ said that to her. 

It had always been  _ ‘he was lucky that he was even chosen at all’ _ or  _ ‘you should’ve been smart enough to see it coming’.  _

Never once had it been about how she was dealing with it, how she  _ felt _ or how she was coping with it _. _ No one questioned why she was going home from school or dinners early when she could feel the panic attacks coming, no one knew she was crying herself to sleep at  _ least _ once a week, and no one cared to ask why she constantly wore a wrist watch that wasn’t hers. 

Nate was the first person in  _ six years _ to tell her he was sorry for what had happened to her. He was the first person to care, after all this time, and she’d missed it. 

“I’m sorry you thought I left you back there.” He continued, watching her carefully in case he’d stepped over any boundaries. “I could hear you starting to panic when I just disappeared. I never realized how much…how much being abandoned by  _ everybody _ would affect you so much.” 

Max didn’t say anything, looking down at the torn up pieces of the leaf in her hands. She didn’t mean to get so worried, or scared that she’d be all alone again, it just happened. It wasn’t something she could control. Even if she  _ knew _ it wasn’t true, all the thoughts that she wasn’t good enough for anyone to stay, or that she was meant to be alone weighed down on her like the sky was on her shoulders, and all she could do to survive was let it stay there. 

“I know it still hurts.” Nate whispered. “I’m here ok? I’m not leaving.” 

“You’re all I have.” She whispered after a minute. “I don’t want to lose you too. Ok?” 

“Ok.” He nodded, giving her another smile. “We’re stuck together now.” 

Max laughed weakly, looking up at him. “I’m glad it’s you, and not like  _ Troy _ or something.” 

“Could you imagine?” He scoffed, straightening up.  _ “Oh Max, let’s run away together and start a family.” _

“Ew, don’t even  _ say _ that I’d rather a guard shoot me.” Nate laughed, the happiness in his voice echoing around the emptiness around them, almost seeming out of place. 

“We should sleep though, seriously. We need to get as far away as possible in case they notice we’re gone and come looking for us.” 

“Think they would?” 

“I don’t know? Maybe they won’t even care if we're gone.” 

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Max tried to joke, but even Nate heard the slight tinge of hurt underneath it all, unintentionally freezing, his smile dropping from his face. 

“Sorry.” Max whispered immediately. “I’m not  _ trying _ to make everything depressing. I’ve just…had a lot of time to think about it, with all the walking and stuff, so it’s kinda just... _ there.” _

“Do you still think about it?” He asked. “I mean, having to be alone and Lucas and everything?” 

“Everyday.” She said, looking over at him and giving him a small smile, forced, but still there. “It’s easier when you have someone though. It doesn’t hurt as much.” 

“Glad I could help.” Max smiled again, laying back against one of the tree trunks behind them. 

“This isn’t supposed to be all about me. I made you leave too. 

“It’s ok.” Nate whispered, picking up his own leaf off the forest floor. “And you didn’t  _ make _ me come. I  _ wanted _ to. Besides, I’d rather have you say it all out loud than keeping it inside and snapping at me when it gets to be too much.” 

Max winced. “Sorry.” 

“It’s ok. Really. I know what it feels like to not be able to talk about things with anyone, and then just explode. I don’t want you to feel like that. We’re gonna have to be each other’s best friend and tell each other everything anyways.” 

“You already are.” Max said, looking over at him. “There’s not really a competitor.” 

“That’s fair.” The two of them fell into silence, Max slowly sinking deeper back against the tree, her head falling down against his shoulder.

“Are you going to sleep?” He asked, doing everything in his power not to let his eyes close as he leaned his head back against the bark. 

“No.” Max mumbled. “I keep thinking about soldiers, I’m too on edge to sleep.” 

“Me too.” He agreed. 

“So I guess we’ll just sit here all night?” 

“I guess so.” Nate said quietly. “It’ll be easier to travel when we can see.” 

Max was silent for a minute, her voice barely a whisper when she spoke again. “Do you think we’ll ever see any of them again?” 

“Who?” Nate asked, confused. “Murkshore?” 

“No, like...Silas, your dad? My dad.” She was quiet for a second, the next word leaving her mouth in a shaky exhale. “My mom.” 

“I don’t know.” He whispered, leaning his head down against hers, his cheek pressed against her hair. “I don’t know if they sent Silas into that war or not, he only got recruited the day before. As for our dads I don’t…” his words faded away, his sentence hanging in the air between them. “I don’t know where they took them. Maybe we’ll see them again but...since we left, Max. I doubt it.” 

“We’re just kids.” She said. “We needed them to survive, why do they just have to just…” 

“Take them?” Nate finished when she didn’t answer. “I don’t know.” 

“It’s not fair.” Max whispered. 

“I know.” 

“I miss her.” 

“I know.” 

“It doesn’t get any easier.” She told him. “You’d think it would get easier.” 

“Silas used to tell me not to focus on the pain.” Nate whispered, his voice cracking. Max glanced up at him, but pretended not to notice so she didn’t embarrass him. “After our dad was taken that’s what he kept telling me. He told me not to worry, that somehow we’d see him again.” 

Max didn’t say anything, shifting uncomfortably beside him. Nate folded his hands together in his lap, lacing his fingers through each other. 

“I wonder if he thought that way was getting recruited.” He said, and neither of them spoke again, trying to remember Silas’ advice, trying not to focus on the pain, and instead on the fact that they still had each other in the midst of the cruel reality they were living. 

_______________________________________

_ Present _

“They never sleep do they?” Nate said from beside Max, hoisting his backpack further up his shoulders. He’d already spent the last twenty minutes complaining about having to keep moving and so far she’d just ignored it. “They just send robotic soldiers after us?” 

“They’re not robotic.” Max said, bumping his shoulder lightly, mostly on accident because she couldn’t walk straight with the path so rocky. “They just have no  _ soul.” _

“That’s the same  _ freaking _ thing.” He grumbled, kicking a pebble forcefully down the rocky path. 

“Well, aren’t you a little ray of sunshine today?” Max smirked, watching as the rock disappeared into the bushes. 

“I didn’t get food and I’m in pain so  _ yeah, _ I’m a  _ little _ grumpy.” 

“I offered you a granola bar.” She reminded him. 

“Yeah and you know what those taste like, Max? Dog poop.” 

“You’ve never even  _ seen _ a dog in real life, much less eaten it’s feces.” 

He looked over at her, his face scrunching up as he gave her a weird look. “You’re  _ disgusting.” _

“You brought it up!” 

“It was an exaggeration.” He said, starting to smile as he leaned closer to her.  _ “Obviously _ it doesn’t actually taste like dog sh—.” 

“Shut up.” Max said suddenly, stopping abruptly where she was standing. 

Nate stopped too, turning to face her, but she wasn’t looking at him. “What?” 

“I heard something.” She said quietly, spinning around and examining the woods around them. Nate followed her gaze, but he didn’t see anything except the same plain, old bushes. He waited for a moment, listening, but all he heard was the whistling of the wind rustling the leaves of the almost-dead trees around them. 

“There’s nothing here.” 

“Shut up.” Max ordered. 

“Max there’s literally—.” Suddenly she pulled him down by his arm, and just as she did he felt the air around him break, something small whizzing past his ear and hitting a tree just a few meters away, spraying bits of bark onto the darkened dirt below it. He didn’t need Max to tell him what it was. 

“Sniper.” He whispered. 

“Go, go, go.” She said, pulling at his arm and shoving him in front of her as the two of them plunged themselves into the forest, as deep into the thickest part of the shrubbery as they could, putting just enough obstacles between them and their hunter so that Nate could still be safe, even injured. 

They kept running—

Without looking back—

They ignored the pain of the low branches and dead, thorny bushes tearing at their arms and clothes—

They ignored the cold ripping at their skin—

They ignored the sounds of what sounded like not only one, but two or  _ three _ sets of footsteps running behind them—

They kept running. Running and running and running and running until—

Nate pressed his back against one of the large, dying Oak trees surrounding them, slowly sliding to the ground as his and Max’s heaving breaths filled the silence between them, no footsteps in range.

“That...I—it was just—.” He couldn’t speak, much less form a coherent sentence, his arms waving in random directions as he tried to explain. Max noticed, weakly pushing herself away from the tree she’d been leaning against and walking over to him. 

“Nate calm down.” She said between breaths, crouching in front of him where he’d sat down. 

“I heard it….I-I could’ve been dead but  _ you—.” _

“It’s ok.” Max said again, pulling at his hoodie sleeve to redirect his attention. “You're ok. Hey, look at me. You’re fine.” 

“He could’ve taken my head off!” He said, a little too loud, his voice underlined in panic. 

“Yeah. I know, but he didn’t. Ok, he  _ didn’t. _ You’re okay. Just breathe.” Nate leaned his head back against the tree trunk, sucking in long, deep breaths, the rising and falling of his chest slowing to a steadier rhythm. 

“Better?” She asked. He opened his eyes, looking up at her. 

“Yeah.” He nodded, leaning forward and running his hands through his hair. His somehow still freaking perfect hair even after running through the forest, the golden highlights in his brown waves more prominent with the sun shining down on him. “Yeah. Thanks.” 

“No problem.” She pulled her eyes away from him, looking down at her dirtied red Vans below her. 

She needed to stop doing that; noticing things. Things she’d never noticed with him before. It was happening more and more often and if she wasn’t careful she would ruin their relationship without meaning to. 

Nate sat still for a moment longer, before lifting his head to look at her, the movement pulling her eyes back towards him and since when did he have that many freckles—

“Let’s keep going.” He said. 

“And risk being out in the open?” 

“Better than just waiting here like sitting ducks for him to kill us off one by one.” Max nodded, rising to her feet and holding her hands out to pull him up. 

She accidentally let her hand linger on his wrist a little too long, flinching back and then blushing when Nate looked at her, concern written in his expression. 

She played it off by pretending to swipe a bug or something off her sleeve, and the suspicious look melted off his face. 

“Which way?” He asked, looking around them, back the way they’d come as if he expected to see a sniper barrel aimed right at him. 

“How about down?” She suggested, gesturing toward the small declining slope he hadn’t seemed to realize they’d been sitting right at the top of. 

“Sounds like a plan.” He mumbled, hoisting his backpack further up his shoulders.

They picked their way down the hill, one step at a time, slowly but surely making progress. 

Max forced herself not to look at him, because in all honesty she was freaking herself out. 

In the past two days she’d started to notice small details about him that weren’t important to her before now. She noticed the ways his eyes would change from sea-green to a golden hazel when he looked into the sun, or the way his jaw would clench when he was concentrating on making a fire or getting ready to shoot something. 

She wasn’t sure  _ why _ she was noticing these things. She didn’t have a crush on him.  _ She didn’t. _ So why was this happening?

“Hey Max?” Nate said once the ground had leveled out. 

“Hm?” 

“Thanks for saving my life. Again.” 

“That’s what I do.” She smiled, her gaze still trained on the way her feet were making little clouds of dirt puff up with each step she took. “Have to keep you alive or you’d be dead by now.” She glanced over at him as he opened his mouth to argue, but he then stopped himself, because she was probably right. 

“That’s what I thought.” She laughed. 

“Oh don’t be so confident. You wouldn’t have survived all alone either.” 

“Hm. Guess that means we need each other, huh?” 

“No duh Sherlock.” He said, smiling. “We’re a package deal. Kill one, kill us both.” 

“I’d run.” She teased. 

“Hardy har har. Nice to know you love me.” Max tensed, pulling her gaze away from him once again. He didn’t mean it like  _ that, _ she knew he didn’t, but that word…it still made her feel weird. 

“Max, stop.” Nate said suddenly. “Literally stop. Don't move.” 

She forced her feet to stop moving, freezing in place as Nate walked right past her, his hand brushing against her shoulder as he pushed past and sending a shiver through her body. Luckily he didn’t see it, because he was too busy kneeling down and picking up a stick, before tossing it into the bushes just in front of her. 

There was a large snap of metal jaws, and Nate pulled out what looked like a large, camouflaged bear trap. How he knew it was there she had absolutely no idea. 

“He’s herding us like sheep.” He said, tossing the trap deeper into the forest. “He forced us down here cause he knew we’d try to get away this way.” 

“Does that mean—?” Another sound like the air breaking away sounded, a bullet flying right between the two of them and hitting the tree separating them. Max knew it was a warning shot, next time they wouldn’t be lucky. 

“Run!” Nate said running off the path and deeper into the undergrowth, leading her behind him as he weaved in and out of the trees, avoiding and false setting off all the other traps set up. Max may have been their tracker, but Nate knew technology and traps better than anyone she knew. 

“Whoa!” Nate said suddenly, sliding to a stop and holding an arm out to stop her as trails of dirt fell down the cliff side they’d just reached, a sheer drop off of at least five-hundred feet from where they were standing to the river below. 

“He has us just where he wants us.” Max said, swallowing. 

Trapped was not something she liked feeling. 

“They’re getting smarter, they know the woods better than either of us.” 

They both heard the cock of the sniper again, closer than they’d ever heard it before, ducking as another bullet ripped past them, tearing through the sleeve of Max’s coat and sending a searing pain through her upper arm. 

She bit down on her lip, forcing herself not to yell out in pain and give him the satisfaction. 

“You ok?” Nate asked, his eyes widening. 

“Fine. It just barley skimmed me.” 

“Where do we go?” He asked, the two of them running along the wide open area, with a forest a couple hundred yards away to one side and a cliff's edge on the other. 

Before Max could answer they heard voices, and not just the one of the man hunting them but several grunts and shouts, followed by complete silence. 

“What—?” She started, but just then two masked soldiers walked out from the forest far behind them, motorcycle helmets masking their identity. 

Nate swallowed, pushing Max behind him on instinct, even though he was hurt worse than she was with his leg still healing. 

“Pistol.” He whispered. She slowly reached for the gun tucked into her jeans, her hand closing around the handle. 

“We’re not here to hurt you.” The taller of the two said, reaching up and taking off his helmet. He had long, dark wavy hair, his skin pale and freckled. “We’re here to help.” 

“Help how?” Nate asked, and Max noticed his voice sounded deeper than it usually did. 

“We’ve been looking for you two for awhile now.” The boy said. “We got wind of some missing kids about a year ago—.” 

“Yeah well join the club.” Max said confidently, taking a step out from behind Nate. “Everyone’s looking for us and I don’t know about you, but I don’t seem very eager to trust you.”

“Hey.” Nate said, not fully turning towards her. “Look at his name tag.” She glanced toward the boy, the name on his tag sounding slightly familiar. 

“Wheeler?” 

“Mike.” The boy said, introducing himself. “Mike Wheeler. I escaped Murkshore a long time ago, just like you guys. We...we’ve been trying to protect you, but you seem to have it covered. We’ve been following their trackers, following you.” 

“Why do you want us so badly?” Max asked. “What do you need us for?” 

“We  _ don’t _ need you—.” His friend cleared his throat under his helmet, and Mike rolled his eyes. 

“We don’t want to take you back to Murkshore.” He clarified. “We’ve been following you because we want to give you somewhere to go.”

“Yeah, well, thanks but no thanks. We’ll find somewhere on our own.” She grabbed Nate’s arm, tugging him towards the tree line. 

“Max.” He whispered, not budging from his spot. “Maybe we should go with them.” 

“How can you say that?” She hissed. 

“We’re out of food.” He pointed out. “And I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m  _ shot, _ and so are you _. _ Some rest would be nice.” 

“How do we know they’re not just taking us back?” 

“Uhhh, for one they took out the guy trying to  _ kill _ us.” He said, gesturing back towards the way they’d come. “And he’s been calling out for defectors on our radio as long as I can remember. Look at him. His gun is holstered and he doesn’t seem hostile at all. Please. I’m tired and I’m hungry and I need real sleep.” Max glanced from Nate to Mike, then back again. 

“Nate this is stupid.” She whispered. 

“He escaped Murkshore!” 

“That could be a cover story.” 

“Or maybe it’s not!” 

“That’s a 50-50 chance I’m not willing to take.” Nate sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

“We can’t keep going with no food and both of us injured. You used the rest of our medical supplies on my leg and your arm—.”

“Screw my arm Nate I’ve had worse.” 

“If it gets infected you’re gonna be sick and both of us are gonna die of hypothermia when it snows.” He said blankly, his expression hard. 

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the pain in my leg is not getting any better. If anything it’s getting worse. We take this chance, we get what we need, and at the first sign of danger, we leave.” 

“We get you  _ healed, _ and if they show  _ any _ sign of taking us back, any rumors or anything. We leave. No questions asked.” 

“Ok.” He whispered, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “How far are you taking us?” He called back to the guards. 

“About a mile.” Mike said. “Uh, what did you say your names were again?” 

“We didn’t.” Max mumbled, but Nate spoke over her. 

“I’m Nate and this is Max.” 

“Max?” All three of them turned toward the other guard, who still hadn’t taken off his helmet. He was bulkier than Mike, his muscles visible under his tight shirt. 

“Yeah. Got a problem with that or something?” She asked, folding her arms across her chest. 

“Complete opposite actually.” He said, his voice low and deep and smooth. Without warning her reached up to unclip his helmet, and Max felt her heart drop into her stomach as he pulled it off, his name slipping past her lips before she could stop it. 

“Lucas?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! This story is getting to the good parts and I’m getting so excited to write the rest of it.   
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!


	4. Trust

“Lucas?” She breathed. 

This wasn’t real. It  _ couldn’t _ be real—

_ Could it?  _

There was no way. 

Lucas was gone. 

_ Dead.  _

He was dead. 

She was dreaming. 

This was another nightmare. 

But yet—

Here he was. 

Standing in front of her in a black compression shirt and dark jeans and gloves and combat boots that made the golden brown skin from his neck and up glow under the sunlight. 

Another fake sliver of hope. 

_ Nate, wake me up _ . Wake me up. Wake me up! 

“Max. It’s just the dreams affecting you.” Nate said, his eyes still on the other boy suspiciously, cautiously. “You’re connecting two different people. There’s no way that he could be—.” 

“Lucas Sinclair?” Mike asked him, raising his eyebrow to match his suspicion. “You sure?” 

Now she was beyond confused. 

He had the same smirk. 

The same eyes. 

Same cut just above his lip from one time Troy had decked him for talking back. 

The same curly jet black hair cut into the same fade she’d done when giving him haircuts. 

But—

The video. 

She’d seen their whole squad bombed into nothing more than a smoking crater. 

Only a handful of boys her age had come home. 

None of them had been Lucas. 

This couldn’t be—

It wasn’t him.

It was  _ another _ boy. 

One that looked just like him. 

But she wanted to believe it was him  _ so badly— _

“Nate…” she said, keeping her eyes on who may or may not be her best friend back from the dead. “Am...am I dreaming? Please wake me up if I’m dreaming. I’m just imagining it?” 

“I…” Nate turned toward her, forcing her to pull her eyes away from the boy in front of them and back to him. “I don’t think it’s a dream, Max.” 

She swallowed, looking back at the two guards. “If you’re really Lucas. Prove it. Something only he would know.” 

He smirked, adjusting his grip on the helmet under his arm, his muscles in his arms and chest flexing under the tight suit. “One time, back in Murkshore, you got super sick. So sick you couldn’t even get up out of bed. You begged me to make you chocolate chip cookies because it reminded you of your mom. They were absolutely  _ terrible, _ but you were too sick to make fun of me for it and choked them down anyways.” 

He spread his arms out, his helmet hanging from one hand. “That good enough?” 

She swallowed again, her throat going dry as she tried to comprehend if it was really him or if she was dreaming, because she had forgotten about that memory. She stepped back without meaning to, moving closer to Nate. 

“Max.” Lucas said softly, taking a step towards her. She flinched and stepped back again, Nate now standing between them. 

“Okay.” Lucas said, holding his hand out to stop her as he froze in place. “Look.” He dropped his helmet to the ground with a thump, before pulling off his belt with his gun and ammo, tossing it behind him. 

“Mike, drop the gun.” He said, his hands in the air and his eyes stayed locked on her. 

“What?” The other boy complained. 

“You haven’t given them any real reason to trust us, have you?” 

“You want me  _ unarmed _ with a group of freaking martial art fanatics—.” 

“There’s only  _ two _ of them. And they’re not fanatics. Drop the gun, now. That’s an order.” He said it with such authority that Max almost reached for the pistol still tucked in the back of her jeans and handed it over. 

Mike scowled, tossing his gun away towards where Lucas’ was. Max swore she saw him shoot a glare her way. 

“Max—.” Lucas started, but she spoke over him, beating him to it. 

“They said you were dead.” She said tightly. 

“Well.” Lucas laughed, looking down at himself and then back up at her. “I...I think I’m real. I mean I  _ feel _ real.” 

“You didn’t come home.” Lucas’s smile fell, and he looked down at the ground, ashamed as he shifted from foot to foot. 

“I tried.” He said quietly. “I tried but when I came back you…” he glanced at Mike, who looked totally and completely lost.

“When I got back you were gone.” Lucas finished, looking back up at her. “I tried, Max, I swear, I tried.” He took another step towards her, and this time she didn’t step back. 

“I promised you I’d come back. I wasn’t going to break it, MadMax.” 

“You’ve been gone for  _ ten _ years.” She said, her words more strained than she meant for them to be. 

“I’m sorry.” Lucas took one more step, and this time Nate stepped protectively in front of her, giving Lucas a hard look. 

They were practically eye level, and about the same size. Lucas was maybe a few inches taller, but that didn’t make Nate back down in the slightest, his hair slicked back under his baseball cap and his expression more serious than she’d ever seen it before as his hands curled into fists at his side. 

Lucas shrunk back a little, not wanting a fight. He looked so defeated that Max felt bad for him. 

If she had been gone when he’d gotten back, did that mean he felt the same way she had when he’d disappeared, or when she’d thought he was dead for real?

“It’s ok, Nate.” She said, setting a hand on his forearm to pull him back. She saw Lucas hang his head out of the corner of her eye. “He’s not gonna hurt us.” 

Nate looked at her for a moment, his expression softening, before moving back to stand beside her. One thing she’d come to appreciate with him was that he didn’t consider her weaker or lesser than him just because she was a girl, they were equal, but he’d still do anything in his power to protect her. That’s just who he was. 

“Lucas.” She said softly. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he looked back up at her. 

“I’m sorry.” He said again. 

She was moving before she even meant to, her feet carrying her closer as she slipped her arms around his waist, feeling his wrap around her shoulders in the same familiar way she’d felt all those years ago, the same safeness she’d been hoping one day she’d be able to feel again washing over her almost instantly. 

“I thought you were dead.” She whispered, her voice strained, squeezing him tighter. “I thought I’d lost you.” 

“No. I’m here. I’m sorry. I swear I came back to get you, but you were gone and...I thought I failed. I thought they took you too.” He pulled away, his hands moving to her shoulders as she looked up at him. He smiled as he looked back at her. 

“You’re so tall.” She laughed, taking a step back to look him up and down. He’d always been strong, but not like this. It was clear he’d grown into his strength now, his tight sleeves straining against his arms and chest, his shoulders broader. 

“And you’re short.” He said, measuring from his head way over hers. 

“You're not the first person to tell me.” She said, turning around to look at Nate, his hands shoved in his pockets awkwardly. “This idiot reminds me everyday.” 

He smiled at her, before glancing past her at Lucas. “Uh, I’m Nate. Nice to meet you.” He said, holding out a hand to the other boy, his manners way better than they’d been just a few minutes before. 

“Lucas.” Lucas said, shaking his hand. “You got stuck with her too huh?” 

“Hey!” 

“Yep.” Nate smiled, pulling back and shoving his hands in his jean pockets. “Couldn't keep her away.” 

“Ladies man, huh?” 

“Yessir.”

“Ok, shut up, both of you.” Max said, glaring playfully at Nate. “Last I checked you’re the one that kept coming back.” 

“I mean.” He shrugged. “I could tell you were warming up.” 

“Bull!” 

“You actually started  _ looking _ at me when I spoke for one thing.” 

“Oh, when she looks at you, you know you’re in.” Lucas said, laughing at the betrayed look she gave him. 

“You two are the same freaking person.” She gaped. 

“Guess that means we’re best friends now.” Lucas said, turning towards his friend, still unmoving from his spot. “Mike I’ve replaced you.” 

“What!” 

“Yeah, Nate’s cooler.” 

Mike held his hands up, glaring back at him. “Dude!” 

“Well, guess that means I’m dropping you too.” Nate teased, throwing an arm over Max’s shoulders. 

“Ok, hold up, before you two go riding off into the sunset together—.” She turned toward Lucas, pulling Nate’s arm along with her. “Where have you been?” 

This time he didn’t answer, looking back at Mike again. “Uh, classified. For now.” 

“Classified?” 

“Yeah…” 

“By who?” She asked, folding her arms across her chest, feeling Nate stand up a little straighter as he leaned against her. 

“The boss, Harrington. Douchebag’s only a couple years older than us, he’ll explain everything.” 

“So you’ll take us there?” Nate asked. 

“Yeah, you think we’re just gonna leave you out here with no food and a bullet in your leg?” 

“How…?” 

“Detective work. I notice everything.”

“Get used to it. He’s a real pain.” Mike called from behind them, bending down to pick up his now dirtied helmet off the ground. 

“We better go before it gets dark.” Lucas told them. “It’s not far but if you’re not back by sundown you’ll be locked out for the night.” 

“Nothing new.” Max shrugged. 

“Figured.” Lucas laughed, turning back towards his stuff. “You two are probably pros at wilderness survival, huh?” 

“Max can track like none other.” Nate bragged for her. 

“And Nate can make or break any trap out there.” Lucas nodded, slightly impressed. 

“Technology advancement?” 

“A little bit.” Nate shrugged. “Didn’t learn much before we left. Just simple trackers and stuff.” 

“Speaking of which.” Lucas picked up his helmet off the ground, brushing off some loose dirt. “There’s a chip in your hoodie sleeve.” 

“What?!” Nate exclaimed, pulling his arm away from Max, frantically checking the fabric. 

“About three inches from the cuff, maybe 2.3 millimeters wide. Felt it when I shook your hand.” 

“You’re insane.” Nate gaped. 

Lucas shrugged, pulling his helmet on over his head and reaching for his gun. “You’ve gotta do what it takes to survive.” 

Nate stared back at him, open mouthed. “You’ve gotta teach me some stuff.” 

“I’d be glad to.” Lucas said, his voice muffled by the helmet. “But first.” He walked back over towards them, holding out a hand out as Nate peeled off his hoodie, handing it over. Lucas expertly fished a small knife out of his belt, no bigger than his pointer finger, and cut a small slit along the sleeve, before pulling out what looked like one of those small SD computer chips Nate had found at school one day. 

“You think they chipped everything we have?” Max asked. 

“No.” Lucas said almost instantly, tossing Nate his hoodie and flicking the chip somewhere into the bushes. “If they got any wind that you were leaving they would’ve put it on him and possibly anything in his home they thought he’d take during the surprise searches in the school building. 

“They did one three days before we left.” Nate said, still in awe. 

“But these aren’t the same clothes we had back then.” Max pointed out. “That hoodie is my dad’s. There’s no way they could’ve…” 

“Have they been close to you at all in the past few weeks? Days even?” Lucas asked, the blank face of his helmet almost unsettling. 

Nate glanced over at her, his eyes going wide. 

“River.” He said. “I took off my hoodie when I jumped in, and when we got out…all our stuff was hidden. Remember?” Max nodded. 

“And then they found us way too quickly.” 

“That’s it.” Lucas said, snapping his fingers. “Took a couple things but left just enough to make it seem like someone was on your side, when really they were bugging you.” 

“But if they knew we were leaving all those years ago,” Max said, staring at him hard, as if concentrating would give her the ability to see him through the glass over his eyes. “Why didn’t they stop us?” 

“Because they knew you’d do their job for them.” Mike said, for the first time moving to stand beside them, looking almost identical to Lucas with his helmet on, except for his smaller stature. Standing beside each other they looked just like the guards at Murkshore all those years ago. 

“They knew you’d come looking for Lucas and lead them straight to him.” 

_______________________________________

“What do you mean you’re the key?” Max whispered, glancing up toward where Nate and Mike were walking in front of them. 

“I’ll explain it a lot more later, ok. Promise.” Lucas glanced over at her, giving her a small smile at the last word. 

His helmet was hanging limply from his hand now, swinging with his arms as they walked. She liked it better when she could see his face, even if he  _ did _ have sweaty helmet hair. 

She wasn’t sure where they even were, but Lucas had insisted they be blindfolded for only a little while until Harrington, whoever he was, decided to trust them enough not to give away their location. 

Nate had been nice enough to let Mike lead him, even though he was suspicious of the idea, because he knew she probably trusted Lucas a lot more. 

They were now currently walking down what looked to be an abandoned train tunnel, but there were no open ends, just metal walls curving over the tracks as far as she could see, and she had no idea how they’d gotten here. 

“Long story short, I’m important.” Lucas finished. 

“I already knew that.” 

“To  _ them.” _ He laughed. “It really  _ is  _ a long story. I swear, as soon as we get you and Nate checked out and get you some clean clothes and sleeping arrangements I’ll answer any questions you have. Deal?” 

“Deal.” She nodded. She looked up at the sloping ceiling, about fifteen feet above her, trying to decide how all that graffiti had even gotten up there when Lucas spoke again. 

“So, speaking of Nate, are you guys like…?” She glanced over at him, watching as he waved his hands around awkwardly, like he wasn’t sure how to say it. 

“Dating?” 

“Yeah.” 

“No.” She laughed, shaking her head and kicking a pebble across the tracks, watching as it skipped across the ground, making its closer toward Nate and Mike, lost in conversation. “He’s my best friend.” 

“Oh.” She glanced over at him again, cautiously. 

“But, you still are too, ya know. Now that you’re alive and all.” 

“Oh so if I was dead—?” He teased. 

“He’s not a replacement.” 

Lucas nodded. “I know. And even if I was I wouldn’t be mad, you know. He’s been with you for how long? Four years? Five?” 

“Seven.” 

Lucas whistled. “Sheesh. Don’t you get sick of each other?” 

“All the time. The other day he ate the last of our wild strawberries before I woke up without saving me any and I didn’t talk to him for the rest of the day.” 

“You have anger issues.” 

“He ate my food. Number one rule to staying alive is  _ never _ take a girl's food.” 

“True. He should’ve known. At least you’re not El, she’d throw him across the room…literally.” 

She felt like someone had punched her in the stomach at a new girl's name, but she wasn’t sure why. Like Lucas had said, they’d been away from each other for ten years now. The fact that he had other friends shouldn’t have hit her as hard as it did. 

But it did. 

And she didn’t know why. 

“El?” He looked over at her, confused as to why she was asking, before realization flashed across his face. 

“Oh right. Sorry. Mike's girlfriend.” 

“Oh.” She said, the weight lifting from her shoulders as his words caught up to her. “Wait he's got a girlfriend?” 

“Yeah, surprising right? They’re obsessed with each other. It’s kinda annoying sometimes. Just warning you.” 

“Nice to know. How many more are there?” She asked, moving the conversation along. “Kids our age, I mean.” 

“Tons.” He said, laughing. “Dustin and Will are the other two in our party aside from El. Then there’s Mike's older sister Nancy, and she’s dating Will and El’s older brother Jonathan.” 

“Will and El are siblings?” 

“Not  _ biologically, _ but yeah. Will and Jonathan are biological though. You can tell. They’re literally copies of each other. You’ll know who they are without me having to say.” 

“Ok, challenge accepted.” Lucas smiled, looking up ahead towards Mike and Nate, who were still deeply immersed in their conversation. 

“And then this Harrington guy?” 

Lucas groaned, throwing his head back. “Ok, so, apparently he thinks he’s our ‘mother’ or something so he’s super strict and protective with us five.” 

“As in you, Mike, El, Will and...what’s his name?” 

“Dustin. Yeah. His real name is Steve by the way. Steve Harrington. His ’partner in crime’, as we like to call her, is also one of the girls that hangs out with us. Her name’s Robin. Nancy and Jonathan’s age. She, Dustin and Steve are kinda the ones in charge.” 

“Dustin is?” 

“Yeah, he’s Steve’s favorite so he can convince him to make certain decisions.” 

“You’re not the favorite?” She said, fake mockery in her tone. “What a surprise.” 

“Haha so funny, you know you’d think after ten years you’d be a little nicer to me.” 

“What’s the fun in that?” 

“None. You’re right. Continue bullying me, your highness.” 

“Finally we’re on the same page.” 

“You two lovebirds are gonna walk any faster?” Mike called back to them. his voice echoing down the long tunnel. He and Nate were standing in front of what looked like a large portion of rock cut out from the side of the wall, but as Max got closer she was just able to make out the hinges of the door. 

“Hey! You have no room to talk!” Lucas said, pointing at him. “You and El locked yourselves in a jail cell to make out for an  _ hour _ last week.” 

“You weren’t supposed to come down there!” Mike said, as if that made it any better. 

“It was two in the afternoon and neither of you showed up for paintball, obviously we were going to look for you.” 

“Paintball?” Nate asked. Mike and Lucas’s attention snapped towards him, their argument dissolving into an awkward silence. 

“Yeah.” Lucas said. “Shoot little balls of paint at each other? Kinda like guns but doesn’t hurt as bad?” Max and Nate glanced at each other, their eyebrows pressed together in confusion. 

“Are you serious?” Mike asked, sounding relieved that the conversation wasn’t turned on him anymore. “What did you  _ do _ as a kid?” 

“Stayed behind the walls of a town shut off from the rest of the world before running through the forest for five years.” Max said sarcastically. “You?” 

“Wow buzzkill.” 

“Oh shut it, bean pole.”

Mike stuck his tongue out at her mockingly, rolling his eyes. 

“Oh, I can tell you guys are gonna be friends.” Lucas said, equally as sarcastic as Max as he stepped past Mike and pulled a small key out of his belt, slipping it into the lock of the practicality invisible door handle. 

The hinges creaked and groaned under the weight of the door as it swung open, revealing another, much thinner, and much darker tunnel. 

Without a word the three of them followed him inside, looking around at the abundance of graffiti on the walls as Lucas locked the door behind him. 

It looked so similar Max was convinced they’d gone in a circle and were now where they’d started. 

“Where’d these all come from?” She asked, running her hand along the smooth, color covered wall. 

“The paint?” Lucas asked. 

“All the drawings. Yeah.” 

“We don’t know, honestly. It was here when we found this place.” 

“But obviously people knew about it.” Nate said, looking around, equally as fascinated. “And if people knew about its existence, wouldn't they easily be able to find out if it was a hideout or not?” 

“If everyone knew about it, would  _ you _ even consider for a second that it could be used for a secret organization?” Nate thought about it for a second, before nodding in amusement. 

“Reverse psychology to the max.” 

“Exactly.” Lucas smiled. “Besides. We didn’t just put it out in the open right in the middle of the tunnel. We have security.” 

“You built computerized security in an abandoned underground railroad tunnel?” Nate asked, his mouth falling open in amazement. “How?” 

“Does he ever stop asking questions?” Mike asked, leaning over to whisper to Max as Nate jogged ahead to catch up with Lucas. 

“If he’s excited? No. He turns into  _ such _ a nerd.” 

“Wonderful.” 

“Don’t worry it’ll be gone in an hour.” 

“You sure?” 

“No.” She laughed. “But give him a break. He’s never seen anything outside of Murkshore technology for over five years.” 

“Is that how long you’ve been running?” 

“Yeah, pretty much. Took about a year to plan a way to escape without getting shot.” 

“And he didn’t get recruited? He’s built pretty well.” 

“No, but he was close, he hit his growth spurt after we left anyway. He was pretty small, but we decided we needed to get out of there once we noticed the guards starting to keep an eye on him.” Mike nodded, adjusting his hold on his helmet. 

“So, how do you know Lucas.” He asked, clearly just trying to start a conversation. “He’s never mentioned you.” 

“Ouch, Wheeler.” 

“Just tell me.” 

“Fine, grumpy. I met him back in Murkshore, when I was six.” 

“Wait, what? That long ago?” 

“Yeah. They took my mom. I don’t know why, but they did. She'd been all I had left of my family. Lucas found me right afterwards. He was all I had until he was taken a year later.” 

“He found you...right after your mom disappeared?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Like  _ right _ after?” 

“Why does that matter?” 

“Well—.” 

“We’re here!” Lucas called, the echo of his words cutting off Mike. 

“I shouldn’t be the one to tell you.” He whispered. 

“Tell me what?” 

“Didn’t you ever find it even a little suspicious that he was just suddenly…there?” 

She had. For a few minutes at  _ most _ right after he’d come in, but she’d been so scared and so confused that she’d ignored it, choosing to trust him instead.

But why did that matter? 

“Just...ask him later. Ok? We have a saying in our group; ‘Friends don’t lie’. You’re probably gonna want to hear what he has to say.” 

“Seems like you two are actually getting along.” Lucas said as they reached him, pressing his hand against a pad that she hadn’t noticed until he’d reached for it, almost completely hidden against the wall. 

“So far.” Mike agreed, shooting her a look. 

Lucas’s hand sunk into the concrete, a loud scraping noise following directly afterwards as a large section of the tunnel disappeared, revealing a large, dark opening. 

“Ladies first.” Max rolled her eyes, stepping into the darkened room, Nate and the other two boys following in right after her. 

As soon as all four of them were crowded inside, the wall in front of them slid shut, blanketing them in absolute darkness. Max felt Nate scoot closer, his arm bumping against her shoulder, making sure she was still there even though there was nowhere else she could’ve gone. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was mildly scared of the dark. She knew he was. 

“Level 4, Headquarters.” Lucas said blankly, pulling out a small card from his belt and sliding it through a panel in front of him, visible only when a small red light flashed on the wall, before the room shifted, dropping below them. 

“An elevator.” Nate said in amazement. 

“Fully camouflaged and booby-trapped for any intruders.” Lucas said proudly. “No key card, no entrance.” 

“You two will get one if Steve trusts you.” Mike said from somewhere in front of them. “Which he probably will.” 

“And if he doesn’t?” Max asked.

“Then he’ll drug you and stuff you in the helicopter and fly you so far away you won’t ever be able to find your way back.” 

“He’s kidding.” Lucas said quickly, a muffled thump and a small whimper indicating he’d punched Mike’s arm. “You just wouldn’t have a card for a while and would have to stick with someone that did. We don’t even  _ have _ a helicopter.” 

“We  _ should.” _ Mike mumbled, his hand bumping her arm as he rubbed his shoulder. 

“Level 4.” The box buzzed, jerking to a stop. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen.” Mike said, the panel sliding open and bathing them all in almost blinding white light. “Welcome to Headquarters.” 

_______________________________________

“They’re back!” A voice called, and suddenly there were two more people in front of them, a boy and a girl. 

The boy was about Lucas’ height, but skinnier than Mike, his hair shaggy and brushed to the side in what could’ve been a bowl cut sometime in the past. 

Somehow she knew it was Will, and the girl...well judging on the way she’d kissed Mike right away that was El. 

She had short brown hair, reaching her shoulders, and was about her height, maybe a good six inches shorter than the boys. 

For not being biological siblings, they looked pretty dang close. 

“Lucas!” Who she assumed was Will walked towards them, avoiding Mike and El’s make out session to high-five his friend, patting him on the back before turning to look at the two of them.

“Who are they?” He asked, but Max was surprised to find that it didn’t sound hostile at all like she and Nate were used to, just curious. 

“That’s Max and Nate,” Lucas said, pointing to each of them. “They were being hunted down by some patrol.” 

“Seems like they did a pretty decent job. You’ve both been shot.” Will said automatically, scanning them both. “You more than once.” He said, pointing at Nate. 

“Are  _ all _ of you Sherlock Holmes or am I just  _ really _ unobservant?” Nate asked. 

“Me and Lucas are the only ones that have worked with Detective work, don’t worry.” He held his hand out to Max first, who was closest. 

“I’m Will.” 

“Max.” She said, slightly proud of her own deduction skills as Will shook Nate’s hand right after her. 

“I’m guessing the full package?” Will asked, turning back to Lucas. Nate turned towards her. 

_ The what?  _ He mouthed. 

“Yeah” Lucas agreed without question. “I gotta take them to Steve first, though. Can you get everything ready?” 

“Yeah, sure. I’ll meet you in the cafeteria in twenty?” 

“Sounds like a plan. Max, Nate, Will can take your stuff for now.” 

“Uh, I’d rather keep it.” She said a little too quickly, completely unaware of the way her hand reached for her backpack strap just to insure no one could take it. “Just...for now. I mean.” 

She didn’t feel comfortable leaving her entire life-long belongings with someone she’d just met. 

The two boys glanced at each other, sharing a questioning look between them as if they didn’t know what they should do. 

“That’s fine.” Lucas shrugged, tossing Will his helmet. “Less work for you.” 

“True. Thanks.” Will laughed, waving to them as he disappeared down an intersecting hallway. “I’ll see you guys later.” 

The three of them waved back to him, Lucas sucking in a breath as he shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. 

“Ok, follow me. The faster we get this over with the better.” 

_______________________________________

“So, Harrington, is he like...mean?” Nate asked. “For lack of a better word.” 

“No, just strict. Especially with me and my friends. For some reason he’s taken it upon himself to keep us alive all these years.” Lucas answered, glancing over his shoulder at the two of them. 

“How long have you been with him?” Max asked from beside Nate. 

“Since I was about nine. So seven? Eight years? About the same as you two, honestly. He and Robin snuck away when they were eight, found Dustin when they were twelve, then me a year later. Everyone else we found on scouting missions.” 

“How did you know—.” Nate started. 

“I told him.” Max said quickly. “He’s not doing his weird detective thing.” 

“Scouting missions, though?” He asked, moving on. “Like when you found us?” 

“Yeah exactly.” Lucas said, his tone light. “We’re always looking for people to take in, especially when Murkshore or the other surrounding settlements report missing persons to each other over the radio that Mike hacked into.” 

“So if we would’ve gone to another settlement…?” Max asked, her question hanging in the air between the three of them. 

“They would’ve turned you in instantly.” Lucas said with a nod. “Exactly.” 

Nate looked over at her as they reached a large metal door, swallowing as Lucas rapped his knuckles against it, sending an eerie echo through the empty hallway. 

“Who is it?” A voice called. 

“Lucas.” 

“Come in.” Lucas twisted the doorknob and shoved the door open, pushing his way inside. 

“I’ve got some news.” He said right away. 

“Good or bad?” A girl's voice asked. 

“Depends on what you consider bad, but I’d say good.” He stepped aside, gesturing for Max and Nate to enter. 

Max blew out a breath, taking the first hesitant steps into the room, Nate and Lucas crowding in behind her. 

Steve wasn’t at all what she expected. By the way Lucas had described him she’d expected a seven foot tall Russian looking dude like the soldiers that had chased them a couple weeks ago, but instead he looked like the kind of guy everyone at a normal highschool would’ve liked. 

He had long, dark wavy hair, pushed back away from his face. He was maybe six foot even, and was wearing a hoodie and jeans. She’d expected at least what Lucas and Mike were wearing, or a suit. For a boss he looked very unprofessional. 

It was kinda cool. 

“Whoa.” Max instinctively turned to the source of the voice, quickly observing the boy sitting in the chair next to Steve’s desk. He had super curly hair, and a baby face, his white teeth gleaming at the smile he shot their way, mostly right at her. 

_ Dustin, _ she thought immediately. 

Her eyes flickered to the last person in the room, a girl that looked about the same age as Steve, her brownish-blonde hair reaching about her shoulders.

_ Robin _

“Nice work, Sinclair.” Steve laughed, his eyes moving from the two of them to Lucas. “Are these the same kids Mike heard about awhile ago?” 

“The kids he’s been obsessively searching for for over a year? Yeah.” 

“These  _ kids _ have a name you know.” Max said, slightly annoyed that they weren’t acknowledging that she wasn’t much younger than them. 

Nate nudged her shoulder rudely. 

“Sorry.” Steve said. “What’re your names?” 

“Max.” 

“Nate.” 

“Well, Max, Nate. I’m—.” 

“Steve.” Max finished for him. “We know.” 

“Sheesh, ok, not one for first impressions are you, Max?” 

“Nope.” 

“I like her.” Robin said, shooting Steve a smile as she leaned back in her chair, her arms folded across her chest and her legs propped up on the desk in front of her. He rolled his eyes at her, turning back to the two of them. 

“Well I’m assuming Lucas brought you here to talk to me?” 

“What do you want to know?” Nate asked. 

“Well I guess, first off, where are you running from?” 

“Murkshore.” 

“Both of you?” 

“Yes.” Nate nodded. “Been together for seven years now.” 

“Partners in crime?” 

“Yessir.” 

“I like  _ him.” _ Steve said, turning toward Robin. “He doesn’t talk back.” 

“Give him a couple days, Dingus.” She shrugged. “Then he’ll get sick of you.” Max remembered what Lucas had said about Steve and Robin running away from their settlement together when they were eight. Ten? Was it? Years together? They seemed pretty close. Like her and Nate were, nicknames and everything. 

“You’re impossible.” Steve said, slight annoyance in his tone. “Anyways. Max, Nate, I’m assuming you want to stay here?” 

“Yes—.” Nate started, but Max knew this was too good to be true. 

“Why are we here?” 

“Because Lucas brought you here.” 

“And why is that? Why was Mike searching so  _ excessively _ for us?” 

“It wasn’t for you  _ specifically, _ to be fair.” Dustin spoke up. “He heard about some runaways about a year ago, but considering you ran away half a decade ago it could’ve been others.” 

“And you’re sure about that?” 

“Well no but—.” 

“So you’re confident that you were searching for  _ us _ that whole year?” 

“No.” He said, sitting up a little straighter. “In all honesty we didn’t  _ care _ if it was you or if it was some other random teenagers. We’d take either.” 

“So we’re not the only ones running away?” Nate asked, picking up on Dustin’s annoyance with Max. 

“Not even close.” Robin answered. “There’s tons of kids here that escaped from all the settlements. Lucas here is from Murkshore, like you guys, so is Mike. Steve and I left the Legion, Dustin left Red Sun and Will and El came from the Shadows. We constantly have a team out there looking for other kids.” 

“Why do you need so many?” Max asked, truly curious. “I mean, you have an entire underground bunker full of your own  _ army.”  _

“Our intention isn’t to  _ fight.” _ Steve said firmly. “However, each of us is trained in different fields of expertise in case we find ourselves in that scenario.” 

“Which brings us to the next question.” Robin spoke up. “What’re you good at?” 

“Tracking.” She said immediately. “And Nate is highly skilled with traps and some technology that we had in Murkshore. Neither of us are close to being as skilled as Lucas, though.” 

“In all fairness Lucas couldn’t do anything when he got here.” Steve said, smiling when Lucas raised his hands into the air in offense. 

“But now he’s our number one guard, and a natural leader that pretty much everyone here trusts. Max, based on what I’ve already heard I would say that you’d be good on the Search Squad and in Detective Work. Nate, you’d do well in Technological Advancements and would make a pretty decent Hunter.” 

“Does that mean I get to have cool stuff like Lucas?” Nate asked, his eyebrows raised in excitement. 

“Your nerd is showing.” Max mumbled. Nate shoved his shoulder against her, knocking her off balance.

“Shut up.” 

“Maybe fighting for both of you.” Dustin said thoughtfully, turning to Steve. “Didn’t you hear the report yesterday? Three of the six guards were found in the forest yesterday. One of them shot dead.” 

Max felt her heart beat speed up as she remembered Nate in a choke hold with a gun pointed to his temple, how  _ easily _ she was prepared to shoot the boy just because he’d hurt Nate. 

“That wasn’t us.” She hurried to explain. “We didn’t kill him. That was the sniper that was following us. Three seconds earlier and that would’ve been Nate you found.” 

“I know.” Steve said even before Nate agreed with her. “You may be bold, but you don’t seem like the type to kill.” Max nodded, slightly relieved. 

“Dustin has a point though. Martial Arts could be good for both of you.” 

“Agreed.” Lucas spoke up from behind them. 

“I trust you two. I really do.” Steve said. “But this isn’t my first rodeo.” 

“What are you fourty?” Robin asked, blowing a bubble with her chewing gum. Steve ignored her, continuing. 

“But I can  _ clearly _ see Nate wants to stay. But you, Max, you’re hesitant. You’re going to run the first chance you get.” She felt her face involuntarily heat up. 

“No, I'm not.” 

“Prove it.” 

“I wouldn’t just leave Nate behind.” 

“That doesn’t prove anything.” 

“I’m not running! I may not  _ like _ the  _ idea _ of all this, but I trust Nate—” 

“You don’t trust  _ me _ Max. You don’t. I’ll give Nate a keycard for now, but until I can earn that trust from you, you’re gonna have to stick with someone that has one.” 

“You don’t want to give me a card because you think I’ll run?” 

“Exactly.” 

“So you’re keeping me trapped in here just like they did at Murkshore?!” She exclaimed. 

“No, I’m not giving you a keycard because if you decide to run, and are caught, they will have evidence, and if they just so happen to stumble across this headquarters, they  _ will _ have a way in, and you will have put hundreds of lives in danger. But if you really are so dead-set on leaving, you can go, I won’t stop you.” 

She stared back at him open mouthed, not really sure how to respond. 

“I’ll give you a week. Ok? By Saturday, if I feel that you trust me, and I can trust you, I’ll give you free access. Deal?” She wanted to object, wanted to tell him he knew nothing about her and that he was  _ wrong, _ but out of the corner of her eye she could see Nate watching her, waiting for her response. 

She’d promised herself she’d protect him all those years ago, and not just because he was four months younger than her and she felt responsibility as the oldest, but because he’d been there for as long as she could remember, doing the same for her. He’d helped her through too many panic attacks to count before she’d learned to hide it, he’d taken care of her when she was sick and had taught her how to cook more than just pancakes. He was her  _ family _ now, and the  _ least _ she could do was give him a place where he was guaranteed safety. 

“Fine.” She mumbled. “But I’m not doing it for you.” 

“Ok.” Steve said with a shrug. “Fair enough. You’ll have to stick with someone who has a card for awhile.” 

“Nate.” 

“That’ll work for the first couple days but after that Nate’s training is opposite yours, you’ll see him at meals and free time but you’ll need to go with someone that knows their way around.” 

“I’ll do it.” Dustin volunteered excitedly. 

“I’d prefer Lucas.” Max spoke up quickly. Dustin's expression fell as he looked up at his friend. 

“I’ll do it.” Lucas nodded. “No problem.” 

“Good. Now that everything is settled, I’m assuming Will has already gotten everything.” 

“Yep.” Lucas said with a nod. 

“Awesome. Well then, Lucas why don’t you show our new friends their rooms and then we’ll all meet later at dinner. Fair?” 

Nate nodded, Max following suit. Just the mention of real food made her stomach turn. 

“Cmon.” Lucas said, gently tugging at her arm. “I’ll explain everything I can.” 

_______________________________________

Max looked down at the clothes she was wearing. She’d been fully prepared to dig something out of her backpack when Will brought her something too girly, but the plain blue jeans, gray crewneck and red Converse he’d given her weren’t as bad as she’d thought they were going to be. 

The mirror was foggy from her shower, but still just visible enough for her to make out her red hair falling to her shoulders in damp, curly waves. 

She looked tired, but not  _ dead _ tired just...worn out. Like five years of running was finally catching up to her now that she’d stopped. 

She tossed her dirty clothes into the clothes hamper next to the bathroom door, before stepping out into the hallway. 

She was sharing a room with El, Mike’s girlfriend who, just her luck, was the only other girl without a roommate. She hadn’t even met her yet and she wasn’t sure they would even get along. 

Their dorm was pretty generic, a simple bed on top of a platform of drawers on either side of the room, with a nightstand beside it and a closet full of extra blankets and pillows between the two beds. She hadn’t checked the chest of drawers at the foot of her bed, but Lucas had told her there were more clothes inside. 

There was a desk opposite her dresser tucked into a little alcove, same on El’s side, with an abundance of pens, pencils and erasers in the drawer she’d briefly checked already, and a small table lamp on the top. 

The lighting was fairly good, better than her living quarters at Murkshore but not as good as Steve’s office on the main floor had been. 

Still, it was starting to feel like home, no matter how much she didn’t want it to. 

Her watch beeped as the time changed the hour, and she routinely checked it, almost forgetting it was Lucas’. She had to give it back soon. 

The glowing numbers told her it was just barely six, which is when Lucas said he and Nate would come get her for dinner. 

She grabbed her room key from the hook by the door, shoving it in her jeans pockets as she opened the door, stepping into the hallway. 

Lucas and Nate were already waiting, leaning up against the wall across from her door, and she froze. 

Nate’s hair was damp like hers was, but styled in a way she’d never seen before, shaved on the sides and messily spiked at the front, and since it was already drying she could already tell it was gonna be fluffy. 

That wasn’t what caught her off guard. 

What caught her off guard was that Nate was wearing a tight plain white t-shirt with an open blue and black flannel pulled on over the top, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a pair of black joggers. Not only was it showing off his arms because of the way it fit, but it made him look  _ super _ tan, and with his familiar leather bracelet around his wrist he looked like he’d just come back from a trip at the beach or something. 

He looked... _ hot.  _

Holy—

_ He looked hot.  _

“Hey.” He smiled, unfolding his arms and standing up a little straighter. Her eyes flicked down to the floor as his white converse uncrossed from each other to bring him up to his full height. 

“Did you get a haircut?” She asked too quickly, her voice an octave too high as her eyes flicked back up to his face. 

_ Seriously _ had he always had that many freckles—? 

“Lucas did it real quick.” She looked over at the other boy just as an excuse to snap herself out of whatever the heck was going on. 

“You know how to do that?” 

“Not really. I just tried to do what you used to for mine.” 

“And it turned out like that?” 

“What? Is it bad?” Nate asked, panic flashing across his face as he reached up towards his hair. 

“No no no.” She hurried to assure him. “It looks good...I’m just surprised.” 

“Oh.” He said. “Thanks.” 

“No problem.” There was half a second of awkward tensed silence between them before she turned to Lucas, gesturing back down the hallway. 

“Lead the way.” 

_______________________________________

“Hey, any of you three wanna come play soccer?” Mike asked, leaning down against their table. 

They’d just finished eating, and even though most of the people had cleared out to go have free time before lights out the cafeteria still had more people than Max had thought possible. 

“I’m good.” Lucas said, shoving a straw into what was probably his fourth juice box. 

“Max?” 

“I suck at soccer.” She said, twisting her fork between her fingers even though there was no use for it anymore. 

“We need one more!” Mike complained. “Nate, cmon man.” 

“Fine.” Nate said standing up from his spot. “But I  _ will not _ be the goalie.” 

“Deal!” Mike exclaimed, standing up straight, his eyes shining with excitement. 

Nate turned back towards them, his eyes landing on her as he reached for his empty tray. “You gonna be ok?” 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. See you later?”

“Yeah sure.” 

“I can throw your tray away.” Lucas offered, dropping a little piece of plastic from his straw onto the mountain of trash they'd all started to throw on top of it. 

“Ok.” Nate nodded, slightly hesitant as he followed Mike, glancing back at the two of them a few times before the two boys disappeared down the hallway. 

She didn’t blame him. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d been separated since before today when they’d both gone to their rooms. 

She found her eyes glued to the spot he’d been last, still expecting him to be there. 

“He’ll be fine.” Lucas said, sensing her worry. “You guys are safe here now.” 

“I know.” She said, pulling her gaze away and turning towards him. “It’s just weird, having other people around.” 

“You’ll get used to it.” He said, taking a sip of his juice box. She shook her head in amusement, laughing. 

“Wha?” He asked around the straw. 

“You haven’t changed.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You’re a child.” 

“And that’s supposed to offend me?” 

“No. I’m just stating a fact.” 

“You’re acting like you  _ didn’t _ choose to eat chicken nuggets over everything else for dinner.” He teased. 

“Hey. Chicken nuggets are for everyone. Not just kids.” 

“So are juice boxes.” 

“It’s smaller than your hand.”

“Agree to disagree.” Max laughed, looking around her. 

It was still weird trying to get used to everything. The cafeteria looked almost like it had at her school in Murkshore, but nicer. 

Everything was white, from the floors to the walls to the tables. The ceiling was tiled, fluorescent lights stretching over a few of them with no real pattern. There was what looked like a bar, with high-legged stools lining the outside, but Lucas had told her Steve was very strict about no alcohol, so the only thing served at the counter was different mixed sodas. 

The way the folded tables and chairs were set up reminded her of the church on the weekends, where she’d spent countless meals alone until Nate had come along. 

“Did it ever change?” Lucas asked, his voice cutting through her thoughts. 

She looked back at him, only to find he wasn’t looking back, and instead down at the now empty juice box in his hand, reading every word possible printed onto the cardboard. 

“What?” 

“Murkshore.” He said simply, glancing up at her for half a second. “Did it ever change?” 

“No.” She said bitterly. “Everyday was the same. Wake up, go to school, go home. Weekends weren’t much better.” 

“Sounds about right.” 

“What about you though, it had to have changed after they took you.” Lucas huffed a laugh, setting the object in his hand down on the tray in front of him. 

“Time for questions now?” Max nodded, looking back expectantly. She may have been mad at the bad men for taking Lucas, but she’d always wondered what happened. 

“There was a lot of training.” Lucas started. “From the moment the sun came up until it went back down again. If you screwed up, you were punished, simple as that. If you didn’t give your all until mealtimes, you wouldn’t eat.” 

“That’s torture.” 

“Tell me about it.” 

“So, what? They punish you and give you little to no sleep and expect you to be a soldier in less than a week?” She asked. “That’s bull.” 

“They don’t care if you struggle, the best will survive, the others…” he swallowed, avoiding her eyes again. 

“They just let them die?” 

“Pretty much.” 

“That’s awful.” 

“It’s motivation.” He whispered. “Watching your friend die forces you to keep going so you won’t disappoint them.” 

Max watched him carefully, trying to read him, but it was more difficult than it had been ten years ago. He could hide it now. 

“How long did they force you to train?” 

“Me? Only a couple months. Everyone else? Until they went to war.” 

“Wait, hold on.” She said, sitting up and leaning a little closer to him. “You didn’t go into the war?” 

He looked up at her, contemplating for a moment, then shook his head. “No.” He said flatly. “I commanded them into it.” 

Her heart skipped a beat, but she wasn’t sure why. The thought that Lucas, at seven, could lead an army... “What does that mean?” 

He looked up at her, taking a deep breath and running a hand through his hair as he leaned back in his chair.

“Promise that  _ whatever _ I say, it isn’t going to change the way you see me?” She nodded. Nothing could change the fact that he was still her best friend, even after ten years. Nothing could change the fact that she cared about him as much as she cared about Nate. 

“Promise.” 

“Remember when I said I was the key? Back in the tunnel?” He swallowed when she nodded, waiting for him to continue. 

“I was raised by them Max, the bad men. A bad  _ man _ named Brennar specifically. I was his weapon. He sent me out as a spy, and when I came back...the crew needed information—.” 

She’d backed away without meaning to. “You were telling them about me. Weren’t you?” 

“I didn’t know any better, Max. I didn’t. I was just a kid. They were using me. They were using  _ you _ to get what they needed. They threatened to hurt you, even  _ kill _ you, if I didn’t do what they wanted. They said you were in danger, and if I didn’t tell them what they needed to know, something would hurt you and they wouldn’t have anyway to protect you.” 

“That day you found me…” she said, remembering what Mike had told her to talk to him about back in the tunnel only a couple of hours ago. It felt like a lifetime now. “They sent you in to me. Didn’t they?” 

“They brainwashed me!” He exclaimed, sitting up a little straighter. A couple people looked over at him, and he shrunk back, trying not to draw attention. 

“I didn’t know anything but my name.” He said, quieter this time. “I didn’t know why I was standing in front of your quarters or why you were crying or who the supposedly ‘bad men’ you were talking about were. All I knew, was that I was alone, with no recollection of anything or anyone and you were the only person there.” 

Max swallowed. 

“Why me?” She asked. “What do they need me for?” 

“You're special.” He whispered. “That’s why they took your mom after your dad and Neil and Billy. That’s why they sent  _ me, _ because they knew I could make you stronger.” 

“Lucas…” 

“You were their next weapon, Max.” 

“Stop.” She said, standing up, her chair scraping harshly against the linoleum floor. He looked up at her, worry flashing across his face that he’d pushed too far. 

“I know you don’t want to hear it but—.” 

“Were you ever even really my friend?” She asked, her words strained. She couldn’t look at him. 

Everything he’d just told her—everything she’d grown to  _ know _ was a lie.  _ All of it _ had been a lie. 

“Of course I was your friend, that wasn’t an act—.” 

“But it wasn’t out of your own free will!” 

He slumped back in his chair, still watching her. “You promised this would change anything.” He said quietly. 

“It changes everything, Lucas!” 

“I’m sorry. Ok? I was  _ eight _ years old. I didn’t know what I was doing and I didn’t know that they were still hurting you even when I was doing what they wanted!” 

“I need to go.” 

“No, Max, please just—.” 

“I need to think. Ok?” She stopped him, noticing that her breathing had become heavier. “I need to think about all of this before you tell me anything else.” 

He opened his mouth to argue, but no words came out. “Ok.” He whispered. 

_______________________________________

Nate. 

Nate. 

Where the heck was Nate?

Why was this place so complicated? 

Why didn’t she have a frickin keycard?

_ Where was Nate? _

“Whoa hey.” She didn’t realize she’d bumped into anybody until she looked up. Mike was standing in front of her, his t-shirt lopsided, a damp towel thrown over his shoulder and his hair a wet mess. 

“Watch where you’re going.” 

“Sorry.” She mumbled. 

“You ok?” He asked hesitantly. 

“Do you know where Nate is?” 

“Nate?” 

_ “Yes, _ Nate. Do you know where he is?” 

“Uh.” Mike looked around him, up and down the hallway. “I think he went back to the gym after he showered, something about basketball, I don’t know.” 

“Where’s the gym?” 

Mike pointed down the hall, back the way he’d come. “Straight down, take a left.” He said, eyebrows raised skeptically. “You sure you’re ok?” 

“Fine. Thanks.” She said shortly, pushing past him toward the way he’d said. 

“No problem.” He mumbled. 

She started to walk faster, which quickly turned into a jog, and then a full on sprint as she ran down the hallway, turning left at the break and almost crashing straight into Nate as he was leaving the now darkness gym behind him. 

“Sheesh, Zoomer, you good?” He asked, holding the basketball in his hand at an arm's length so he didn’t hit her with it out of instinct. 

She couldn’t focus on how his hair was wet from his shower or how his flannel was tied around his waist because all the sudden thoughts were rushing out of her mouth before she’d even had time to comprehend them. 

“Why’re you my friend?” She gasped, out of breath. 

“What?” 

_ “Nathanial Joseph.”  _

“What!” 

“Why did you try to talk to me that day on the soccer field? Why did you keep trying even though I was pushing you away? Why—?”

“Whoa whoa hey.” He stepped closer, dropping the ball to the ground as his hands slid over her shoulders to calm her down, the bounces echoing off the walls surrounding them as they slowly became smaller and smaller. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Please just answer the question.” She said, her voice sounding smaller and weaker than she’d meant for it to. 

“Because you looked lonely.” He said softly. “And none of the other boys wanted to hangout with me either. You seemed cool. I just wanted a friend.” 

“No brainwashing, no one sent you to me?” 

“Max, what are you talking about?” 

“I need to know you wanted to be my friend without someone forcing it onto you!” She exclaimed. “I need to know you’re not a lie.” 

Nate looked beyond confused, but also worried. “No one forced me to hangout with you. No one forced me to go talk to you that day and as far as I remember no one brainwashed me aside from the fact they kept me trapped in the same village as you.” 

Without meaning to, she surged forward, hugging him tight around the waist. Nate stood with his arms out awkwardly for a moment, before pulling her closer, his arms enveloping her in a hug. 

“I’m right here.” He whispered. “It’s okay.” 

Max nodded shakily, her fingers curling around the fabric on the back of his t-shirt. “No matter what happens, we stick together.” 

“I know.” He whispered. “That was always the plan.” 

Max didn’t let go, breathing out a sigh of relief that at least the most important person in her life was still constant. 

That she knew for a fact, he had never been a lie. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!  
> LUCAS IS ALIVE HURRAY  
> I have no further comments lol  
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!


	5. Friendship

Max threw the door shut behind her, but the hundred and fifty pounds of metal didn’t make the satisfying slam like she’d been hoping, it slowed to a stop, sealing itself off with a soft hiss. 

She dropped down onto her bed, fuming as she stared blankly at the opposite blank wall. 

Why couldn’t Nate just _leave her alone?_

Why was it _required_ to watch the stupid war at meal times? 

Why, after so much insisting, was she suddenly getting that little pang of fear that Nate would eventually give up on her like everyone else? 

They weren’t even friends. She didn’t _care_ about him, and she didn’t care what he thought about her or if he even cared about her at all. 

_Lucas._

“Stop.” She told herself out loud, her voice hard and firm like she was commanding a puppy instead of her own thoughts. 

No matter what was happening his name always popped into her head nowadays, sometimes just the image of his face, but older. 

Or, somehow, feeling the way he would hug her, how close he’d hold her, and a wave of the feeling of safety would wash over her as she remembered. 

Everyday it was getting harder and harder to accept the fact that he was one of those soldiers in that war, that he was possibly hundreds of miles away with people that wanted nothing more than to kill him without a second thought. 

She didn’t know if he remembered her at all. 

She didn’t even know if he was dead or alive. 

She didn’t even know if he’d ever even come home. 

They didn’t announce the deaths to the public, and she wasn’t sure they even told the boys’ families. Even if they did, no one would ever know. Lucas _had_ no family that they knew of, and they wouldn’t even think _twice_ about telling her anything. She was just another kid he’d known, she wasn’t worth any importance. 

Everyone else would come home, they would reunite with their families before going back to testing or whatever they did, but she’d be waiting and waiting and waiting and would never see him ever again. 

“Stop.” She said again, but this time her voice was weaker, scared even. 

She’d be alone if he didn’t come back. 

She _was_ alone _now._

She might never see him ever again. 

“Stop stop stop.” She said, practically begging her own mind to stop torturing her as she started to panic. 

She didn’t _want_ to be alone. 

She didn’t want to _lose_ Lucas after her whole family. 

_She didn’t want to be alone._

“No no no.” She whimpered, her breathing quickening. “Please be okay, Luke. Please be safe.” 

Safe? 

Safe. 

Was she safe?

Was Lucas safe? 

“Breathe.” She told herself. “Just breathe.” Talking herself through things had become a normal thing, since no one else was here to calm her down. She’d learned to look around at different objects in the room, naming the color of each one just to force her mind to focus on something else. 

Book? “Red.” 

Fridge? “White.” 

Blanket? “Blue.” 

She leaned forward, breathing out a sigh of relief. She _hated_ panic attacks, especially when they got to the level where they were too much for her to control on her own, and all she could do was cry for hours and hours and hide under her blankets to allow herself _some_ comfort. 

The sounds of surprised gasps and talking started up outside, all at once, the sound rising until it was so loud she could barely hear her own thoughts anymore. 

She finally looked up after about a minute when it didn’t stop, about to go see what was happening for herself when suddenly the door opened, and Nate was standing there. 

“Go awa—.” She started automatically, her voice angry, but for the first time ever Nate didn’t let her finish. 

“Something happened.” His eyes were wide, and he was breathing hard, his chest rising and falling in exaggerated breaths like he’d run all the way here just to come get her. 

She stood up from her spot at the bed without acknowledging that she was finally giving him what he wanted, following him back out into the court yard and through the crowds of people gathering around the church, the two of them shoving their way inside. 

When she’d left dinner a little less than twenty minutes ago, the monitor setup had previously shown several different angles of the war, all at once, but now it was focused in on one point, and that was their main army. 

Several of hundreds of boys all dressed in the same guard uniforms she’d grown to know meant danger, firing toward something in the unknown distance, the sounds of gunshots and shouting and explosions being drowned out by the chatter of everyone around her. 

“What happened?” She asked, having to lean closer to Nate for him to hear her over all the noise. 

“A bomb or something went off way too close to the firing squad.” He practically yelled, his voice still barely audible. 

“Ok? It doesn’t seem like it was close. They’re fine.” 

“Half of our tanks and firing equipment got taken out.” He told her. “All the soldiers in that area just disappeared.” 

“Crap.” She mumbled, and even though that was bad she selfishly felt grateful, because she _knew_ Lucas wasn’t in that squad, all the boys manning the missiles were bigger and taller and bulkier than he’d been. 

“But, they’re doing fine now, right?” She asked. Nate turned to look at her. ”I mean—.” 

Suddenly an unearthly whistling sound broke through all the noise, breaking the sound barrier, and it wasn’t just on the tv this time, Max heard it above them, a terrifying cracking noise like the atmosphere had shattered. 

Nate tore his eyes away from her as the men on the screen suddenly scattered, but not far enough away from the blinding white flash and the tremendous boom of what she could only imagine was what the end of the world sounded like. 

When the smoke cleared and the screen was somehow still visible and functioning, but their entire army was gone. 

All of them. 

“No.” Max whispered, starting to back away without her mind thinking for her feet to move. 

Lucas was there. 

Lucas was out there _fighting._

_He had been there._

There was no way he could’ve escaped in time. 

_Lucas._

Everyone around her was talking louder, yelling out to each other from across the crowd, but everything was muffled, no real words reaching her ears. 

Nate glanced over at her once again, but she didn’t look back at him, already pushing her way back through the crowds of people to leave the church. 

“Max—.” Nate called, but he sounded as if he was underwater and in slow motion. Max shoved her way through everyone, throwing elbows and pushing through bodies that were bigger than she was and running back to her living quarters as soon as she’d made it away from the crowds. 

“Max!” 

Sounds were coming back as soon as she rushed out of the church doors and into the suffocatingly cold air around her, zeroing in with razor sharp focus that was overstimulating her thoughts as she jumped the steps and took off running the second her shoes hit the ground. 

She couldn’t be here. 

She couldn’t _stay_ here. 

No one was going to help her— 

She had to be alone for this part—

And it was scary—

But it was true. 

She kept running, her feet kicking up clouds of dust as she navigated her way down the dirt roads and through wandering stragglers that were making their way towards the church to see what the commotion was, never once stopping until she was hidden away in her living quarters. 

She closed the door behind her, vaguely aware of her hand on the cold metal but not really feeling it. 

All at once everything about the place that had been her home was _wrong._

The room was too dark. 

Too hot. 

Too _small.  
_

_Too empty._

He’s gone. 

He’s _dead._

He’s not coming home. 

You’re _nothing_ without him. 

You’re _nothing._

_Nothing._

Worthless. 

“Stop.” She whimpered, reaching up towards her head like it could have any contribution in stopping it, but once again the word seemed to have no power. 

_No one_ will ever care about _you._ The thoughts continued. 

You’ll _never_ have a family. 

You’re a _burden._

You’ll _always_ be alone. 

Alone. 

_Alone._

_Lucas._

She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think straight. Everything was falling apart and no one was here to stop it.

Lucas had always been the only one able to silence the thoughts in her head, but now—

“No no no. Please, no. You can’t go.” 

Abandoned. 

Isolated. 

Neglected. 

“You _promised_ me.” 

_Alone._

Forever.

 _Gone._

“No please. Lucas.” 

“Max.” She jumped, looking up.

When did she get on the floor, when did she pull her legs up to her chest and start rocking and _when did he get here?_

“Nate.” She whispered, a lot more feeling behind his name than there had ever been before. She could just barely make him out behind her blurry vision, but it was him. 

She knew it was him. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“He’s gone.” She whimpered, the words somehow coming out easily. “He’s gone for real now.” 

“Who? Your dad? Your brother?” 

“Lucas.” 

“Who—.” He looked around the room, confused, as if anything could give him any kind of clue. A picture, a drawing, anything. “Whose Lucas?” 

“Doesn’t matter, because now he’s gone.” Her breath caught in her throat, because she was still panicking, the darkness surrounding her and pushing down on her was still there, and she couldn’t make it stop. 

“He’s never coming back.” She whispered, another wave of realization crashing over her. 

_Never._

Gone. 

Dead. 

“Was he...in the army?” Nate asked. She nodded weakly. 

“Max I’m—I’m sorry.” 

Everyone was sorry—

No one ever really meant it.

They just had to say it—

But it didn’t change anything—

It didn’t make her _feel_ any better—

Because Lucas was _dead._

And she _felt_ dead. 

‘Sorry’ wouldn’t bring him back—

Was it possible to die from too much sadness?

If it was—

She _was_ going to die—

Sad. 

Alone. 

Broken. 

_Scared._

She wasn’t going to survive it this time. 

There was no way. 

“Um...is your mom somewhere around?” Nate whispered gently, reaching for her but seemingly deciding against it and pulling away at the last second. “She’ll know what to do, right?” 

She shook her head, choking out three words that somehow made everything worse. “She’s gone too.” 

“Oh.” He looked embarrassed, pulling away from her a little bit more. She wanted to stop him. She wanted him to stay. He couldn’t leave her here. “Who...who takes care of you then?” 

When the only answer she gave was shaky breathing she knew he understood. 

“You’re alone.” 

You're _nothing_ without him. 

_Nothing._

You’re _nothing._

“Max?” 

“Why’re you still here?” She choked, looking up at him angrily and making him flinch backwards, her instincts almost forcing her to reach out for him the further he got away from her. “Why won’t you just _leave me alone?_ Why do you _insist_ on talking to me when I push you away time and time again? Why haven’t you _left_ like everyone else?” 

“Because I’m not like everyone else.” He said immediately, defensively. 

“I just need a friend. I thought you would too.” 

“Why me?” She gasped through tears. “Why does it _have_ to be me?” 

“It—it doesn’t I just—.” 

“You’ll just leave me too!” She practically yelled with fear. For once he was silent, staring back at her with concern written across his expression. 

“They’ll take you away just like them.” She whispered this time. 

He opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out. 

“I can’t care about you...if you’ll just disappear.” She whimpered. “I can’t…” 

_Gone._

_Dead._

_Lucas is dead—_

_He’s never coming home—_

_Your mom is gone._

_Your dad is gone._

_Billy’s gone._

_You’re alone._

_Alone._

_Just like you should be._

_Lucas, you promised._

“Max, hey. You need to breathe—” 

“Just leave me alone.” She gasped, panicked. 

_Why wouldn’t he leave?_

But—

She didn’t want him to leave. 

_Nate, please don’t go._

“No.” Nate whispered. “I’m staying.” 

“No you’re not!” She choked, another round of tears starting. What was she saying? She needed him. 

_She couldn’t afford it._

_“Please._ Please just go. I can’t keep feeling this broken. I can’t lose anybody else. Just _go.”_ Nate looked back at her with such intensity and worry and care that she almost told him she needed him to stay, that she didn’t mean any of it, that it hurt so much and her heart felt like it’d been ripped in two more than once, but she couldn’t let her guard down this time, she couldn’t do it again. 

“Lucas.” She whispered to herself. Maybe if she said his name enough he’d come back. “He-he promised me I wouldn’t ever be alone again and now he’s—he’s _dead.”_

Dead? 

_Dead._

_Gone._

No. 

She choked. “No, Luke.”

Nate moved forward faster than she had time to register it, pulling her closer to him and wrapping his arms around her in the nicest hug she’d had in a long time. 

She wanted to stay here, _right_ here, like that day Lucas had found her, because Nate was _warm,_ and _safe,_ just like he’d been _._ She never wanted to leave, never wanted to face reality, never wanted him to disappear. 

_Disappear._

They’ll take him too. You _know_ they will. 

_Get away._

“No.” She whispered weakly, trying to push herself away from him, but her back was pressed against her bed and she was too weak to move. “Let go.” 

“No.” 

“Nate please I can’t—I can’t let you—.” 

“Hey—” 

“They’ll take you.” She gasped, real, absolute, total panic on her tone now as she struggled against him, gaining more strength from the fear. “They’ll take you and I won’t be able to do this again. Please, Nate—.” 

“It’s okay, Max.” 

“Stop—.” 

“You’re gonna be ok.” 

“No—.”

“I’m here, Max. I've got you. It’s ok.” She gave up, sinking into him, pulling him even closer by the front of his t-shirt, because she hadn’t heard _any_ of those words in a really, _really_ long time. “You’re safe. I’ve got you.” 

“He was the closest thing I had to a family.” She choked. “He was all I had and they took him too.” 

“I know. I’ve got you. It’s gonna be okay. Just try to breathe, ok? I’ve got you.”

“Don’t leave.” She said. “Promise me you won’t?” She didn’t want to hear that one word ever used again if it wasn’t going to be true, but she still had _hope._ Deep down she knew she still believed in that word. Still believed it held power. Hoped that Nate wouldn’t hurt her. 

“Promise.” Nate whispered. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

All her remaining strength dissolved into nothingness as she collapsed into him, and for the second time in her life, she was relying on a complete stranger to stay, she was relying on somebody she knew nothing about.

And she trusted him with her life. 

_______________________________________

Lucas took off his headphones, turning away from the darkening monitor as he wiped the tears from his eyes before they could fall. If any of the older classed boys saw him they’d lecture him about being a baby over something as simple as a death of someone who was hardly even considered a friend. 

But they _had_ been friends. 

Aidan and Thomas and Cameron and Jordan, the only _four_ out of the entire three hundred and fifty eight soldiers that had welcomed him. The only four that had listened when he was scared without making fun of him for crying and gave him advice and encouraged him to keep going when no one else had. The boys he’d grown up with, the boys that had bandaged him up and gave him a bed to sleep in and helped him with workouts until he could do it on his own. The boys that had turned into men. 

The men that had become the closest things to an older brother that he’d ever had. 

The _men_ that sacrificed their _lives_ for _no_ reason. 

_For him._

He’d been the one forced to command them into the war. 

Just because he was special. 

And now they were dead—

And he was still here. 

He kept checking their heart rate monitors he’d specifically pinned on the screen next to the security camera focused on one room, as if they would change. 

They hadn’t. 

All four were flat. 

They’d been flat immediately after the air strike. 

He threw the headset at the screen, not caring if either of them broke or not. 

“So? What have you learned?” A man's voice said from behind him. A voice he knew all too well and dreaded hearing every time. 

“That you’re a monster?” He answered, turning around in his chair. “But I didn’t need a war and for our entire army to be _obliterated_ by a _predicted missile attack_ to figure that one out!” 

The man laughed, a deep throaty chuckle that made Lucas want to shoot him with the pistol holstered to his hip right then and there, but that was his downfall, everyone knew he wouldn’t pull the trigger. Especially not against the man that had claimed to raise him. 

“You’re getting bold.” 

“You promised you would protect them!” 

“And I did my best.” 

“You sent them into a trap! You knew they would die and you didn’t stop them!”

“Calm yourself.” The man ordered. Lucas shut his mouth from experience, his deep, heavy breaths echoing the otherwise deserted room as the almost invisible bruises on his cheek and forearm still burned with remembrance. 

“When can I see her?” 

“When we’ve decided it’s time.” 

“And when is that?” Lucas yelled. “When your stupid war has killed us all for the second time? The third?” 

“When your useless friends do their job.” The man retorted, raising an eyebrow. “Jordan would be disappointed at the way you’re lashing out.” 

“Shut up! You leave him out of this. He died for me. They all did. They said they were fighting for me!” 

“And look where that got them. You put your friends in an awful lot of danger. Don’t you, Lucas?” 

He glanced at the screen, which was still frozen on the security screen, a single frame of Max sitting alone in the middle of any empty room, crying. 

And it clicked. 

She thought he was dead. 

Lucas wanted to punch the man in front of him. He didn’t deserve to see that side of her. He didn’t deserve to talk about the older boys like they were failures. Lucas knew he was strong enough. He could take the older man no problem. The _problem_ was the armed guards constantly watching him. 

“You promised you wouldn’t hurt her.” He said, his voice low and calm. 

“I haven’t.” Brenner assured him. 

“She has no one left, and probably no hope left that I’ll even come back. You may not _know_ this, but losing someone you _love_ is the worst kind of pain.” 

Brennar laughed maniacally, taking a step closer and placing his hands on the sides of Lucas’ chair, leaning down until their noses were almost touching. 

His breath smelled like dead fish mixed with cat food, which probably wasn’t far off judging from the food here. 

“I’m protecting her from herself.” The man said, the blue light from the computer screen highlighting his features so that Lucas could just make out the white wispy pile of fluff on his head he liked to call hair, and the deep-lined wrinkles around his face. 

“Your plan won’t work if she doesn’t believe in me anymore.” His smirk fell, and he leaned closer. Lucas tried to focus on something else instead of the smell, his eyes landing on his suit. 

Because as _always,_ he was wearing a simple black and white suit with a black tie, a serious businessman as he liked to call himself. 

“It’ll work no matter how much you try to assure yourself it won’t.” 

“What do you want from me?” Lucas hissed. 

“Same thing I’ve always wanted.” Brenner said, finally standing up again and allowing Lucas to actually breathe. “Information.” 

“I’ve told you everything!” 

“Then tell me more. Tell me what the new group of boys say in training, what they already know. Tell me who else your precious _Maxine_ is corrupting and what boys I need to recruit next.” 

“You’re sick in the head if you think I’m going to do any of that.” 

“And you’re delusional if you think I won’t do anything to her if you don’t.” 

“You touch her and I swear—.” 

“You’ll what?” Brenner challenged. “Kill me? We all know you wouldn’t possibly have the guts to do it. You’d probably turn yourself in eventually, just to rid yourself of the guilt, maybe you’ll be so desperate for a clean conscience you’ll tell my men everything about her.” 

“Over my dead body.” He seethed. 

“So we’re in agreement. Tell me who to recruit by the end of the day, and one new boy each week from here on out, or I’ll send a random search to her house. If you do not, I cannot guarantee she will be left unharmed.” 

The man left, leaving Lucas alone, breathing hard and shaking from pure anger. He looked back at the screen, skipping ahead to real time to watch the boy that was now kneeling in front of Max, the one he’d purposely hidden from Brenner, and although there was no audio, he could assume the boy was calming her down from what looked like another panic attack. 

A bad one. 

He was hugging her so close, and she was clinging to him just as tightly, and Lucas felt a pang of jealousy. 

_“Tell me who to recruit by the end of the day…”_ Brenner’s voice echoed in his mind. 

For a moment he selfishly considered this boy on the screen, but just as quickly as the thought had come Max’s words drowned out Brenner’s: 

_Don’t take him too. I’ll do anything just don’t take him._

It was still the same as the day they’d taken him. 

She wasn’t replacing him. 

She was scared. 

And he couldn’t take another person from her. 

At least she had someone looking out for her.

He had nobody. 

“I’ll protect him.” Lucas whispered, promising himself as if Max could hear him through the screen. “Whoever he is I won’t take him away from you.” He took a deep breath, his last two words holding more meaning behind them than anything he’d ever said in his life. “I promise.” 

_______________________________________

_Present_

He didn’t notice it was his alarm going off until a pillow flew out of the darkness, the cushion hitting him in the head and jerking him out of his drowsiness almost instantly. 

“Lucas shut it off.” Nate groaned from across the room, pulling his blanket over his head. 

Lucas sat up blearily, his eyes flicking to various sections of their room until they found the glowing red numbers on his nightstand. He leaned across the bed, stretching his arm as far as he could without moving and slapping the snooze button to silence the terrible beeping noise, before falling face first back into his pillows with a groan. 

“That’s been going off for like five minutes.” Nate complained from his own bed, his voice muffled by the blanket he still had pulled over his head. 

Lucas was still getting used to having a roommate, even after a week. He remembered bunking with Mike for the first year they’d been here, but after so many complaints the two of them had made to Steve, he’d split the two of them up into their own separate rooms. 

“Then why didn’t you do anything?” He asked into his pillow. 

“It’s on _your_ nightstand, genius.” 

“You're a terrible roomie.” Lucas grumbled, lifting his head again just enough to reach for the lamp on his bedside table, the glowing numbers of his alarm shining over his face and temporarily illuminating his skin bright red. 

The lamp switched on when he pulled the cord, making him shrink back from it at the harsh contrast it made to the darkness they’d been surrounded in for so long. 

Nate groaned again, pulling his blanket further over his shoulders and rolling over away from the light. 

“Get up.” Lucas said, sitting up on the edge of his bed, his voice heavy with sleep. 

“No.” 

_“Get up.”_

“No.” 

“Nate, I _swear_ to you I will drag you out of bed by your ankles if I have to and then I will _beat_ you with this pillow.” He said, holding the object up just to prove his point. 

“You woke up and chose violence huh?” 

Lucas reached to the end of his bed, grabbing the football they’d been using the night before and throwing it across the room, hitting Nate in the back of the head. 

“Ok, ok sheesh.” The other boy complained. “You’re as bad as Max.” Lucas ignored the statement as Nate sat up, his bare shoulders still littered with dark, purple bruises from the sparring match he’d fought in yesterday. His hair was a mess, spiked in almost every direction it could’ve possibly been in. 

Lucas frisbeed the pillow back at him, hitting his intended target.

“Dude.” Nate said, looking over at him and holding his hands up. “I’m up.” 

“You look like Wolverine.” He smiled. 

“That _might_ be offensive but I wouldn’t know.” Lucas laughed, rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his palm. 

“Cmon. We gotta be to breakfast in…” he glanced at their alarm, calculating the time in his head. “Fifteen minutes?” 

“I could’ve slept for an extra ten and still beaten you out the door.” Nate teased. 

“I’m sure.” Lucas stood up, stretching his arms as he made his way over to his chest of drawers, rifling through them while Nate messily ran a hand through his hair, managing to make it look somewhat normal by the time Lucas had taken off his tank top and changed into a clean t-shirt. 

—

“She’s still mad at you isn’t she?” Lucas finished pulling his crew neck on over his t-shirt before acknowledging Nate’s comment. 

“Yep.” 

“What’d you _do?”_ Nate asked, locking and closing their dorm door behind him and jogging further up the lightly carpeted hall to catch up. “I mean. Even when she’s _actually_ mad it goes away in like a day or two.” 

“With _you_ maybe.” Lucas said, pulling his lanyard around his neck, the keycard and room key hitting against his chest with each step. “You were with her everyday. And no one else was there. It’s easier to avoid me here.” 

“She’s been remembering you for a long time.” Nate told him. “She doesn’t _want_ to avoid you, dude.” 

“Seems like it to me.” Lucas said, shoving his hands into his pockets as he looked over at him. 

“It’ll blow over.” Nate assured him, nodding as if he actually believed it. “Give it a couple more days and if she _still_ doesn’t come to and acknowledge your existence, I’ll talk to her.” 

“Way to put it lightly, bud.” 

“I’m just saying.” Nate said, stepping in front of Lucas to pull open the cafeteria door, holding it open for him. “It’s been a _week._ Max is easy to read if you’ve been around her moods long enough.” 

“I know.” Lucas said, thanking Nate as he stepped through the doorway. “It’s just been awhile.” 

Nate nodded in understanding, the two of them heading towards the breakfast bar. 

—

“There they are!” Dustin’s voice cut through the noisy room, turning their attention to their table, a few seats empty, probably saved for them. “You’re late.” 

“By one minute!” Lucas objected, pulling out the chair closest to Mike, plopping himself down into it and setting his tray on the table. 

“Lucas wouldn’t wake up.” Nate teased, sitting down in the empty seat right next to Max. 

Lucas noticed the way she didn’t look up at _him,_ and he _tried_ to ignore the way she just continued to shove her food around her plate without even acknowledging his presence, but how she _automatically_ looked up at Nate the _second_ he sat down and started talking.

“Took a pillow to the face for him to realize the alarm was going off.” 

“Yeah and Nate just sat there yelling instead of turning it off himself.” 

“Well if he was yelling…” El smiled, leaning over Mike. “Then you were out cold.” 

“I was not!” 

“You were too.” Nate said, peeling the top off his yogurt package. “You were snoring.” 

“Shut up.” Lucas laughed when the other boy started to imitate what sounded like a hibernating bear, aiming a kick at him under the table, but missing. 

Nate laughed, taking a giant spoonful of his pink, fruity yogurt and shoving it into his mouth, half of the small container disappearing as he did. 

“You need to chill.” Max told him, smiling as she said it. Smiling at Nate and not even bothering to look over at him. 

“Wha?” Nate asked around his mouthful, already getting another scoop of fruity yogurt. 

“You just ate half the freaking container in one bite and got it all over your face, that’s disgusting.” 

“What are you, my _mother?”_

“I’ve been babysitting you for the past five years so, yeah pretty much.” 

“Ok, party pooper, didn’t realize I had to be _proper_ with my breakfast.” She laughed as he shoved another spoonful in his mouth before pulling a face at her, shaking her head and turning back to whatever conversation she’d been having with El, leaning across the table to talk to her. 

It’d only taken the girls a few days to click, and now they were pretty much inseparable when they were together, except when Mike or Nate was there, then they could be pulled away. 

Lucas found himself watching her without meaning to, his eyes tracing over the line of her brow pressed together in deep concentration before it morphed to realization and excitement to whatever El was telling her, the same way he remembered her reacting when he’d tell her stories. 

Her hair was messily pulled up into a ponytail, and small strands had fallen out in front of her face, her eyes looking even bluer against the deep red of her hair. Like the ocean, but he’d never seen it, not for real. He’d only heard about it and saw pictures in the textbooks at Murkshore. 

He kept watching the way her eyes would light up before she started talking, like she was glad to actually have another girl to talk to for once. He kept noticing the ways her expression changed, even the smallest details, as she talked, so immersed in her own conversation that she didn’t even have to think about him. 

A sharp pain shot up his leg, and he resisted the urge to kick Nate back. 

“What the heck?” He hissed. 

_You good?_ Nate mouthed. Lucas looked around, finding everyone else was talking in their own little groups, leaving the two of them alone on their own. 

_Fine._ He mouthed back, leaning over his own tray of food and stabbing at his sausage with a fork. Nate leaned closer. 

“You look pissed.” He whispered. 

“Do I?” Lucas asked, more sarcasm in his words than he meant for there to be. 

That wasn’t fair and he knew it. 

He wasn’t mad at _Nate,_ in fact he’d been the one that _hadn’t_ treated him differently after he’d told him the exact same things he’d told Max. 

He’d understood.

“Sorry. I am. She won’t even look at me.” 

“I’ll talk to her, ok? Just try to think about something else for a while. Like your scouting trip later.” 

“You mean the one I have to _train_ Max on?” 

“Oh.” Nate glanced over at the two girls, and Lucas followed his gaze, watching the way Max and Mike were immersed in a very intense argument about who-knows-what, while El occasionally would side with one or the other to provide information or correct false accusations. 

Nate turned back to him, giving him an apologetic look. 

“That’s gonna suck.” 

“Thanks for the support.” 

“Let me know how that goes.” Nate reached across the table to grab one of the juice boxes off his tray, stabbing the straw taped to the side through the top of it.

Lucas held himself back from snatching it back and causing a scene, because he had another juice right in front of him, and he’d look like a toddler if he got mad over it. 

“What do you have today?” He asked instead, pushing his eggs around with the plastic fork. 

“More sparring with Mike, then Tech with Will.” 

“You liking Tech?” 

“Yeah.” Nate said, beaming as he sat up a little straighter. Max was right. He really was a nerd when he got excited, which was weird, because he was also unnaturally athletic. “He taught me how to hotwire and fuse on Monday. I think we’re starting hacking today.” 

“That’s fun.” Lucas said sincerely. “Especially when you learn to do it well enough to hack into Mike’s computer and send him messages.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Nate laughed with a smirk. “You’ll be gone all day, huh? No detective work today?” 

“Yeah. Should be back by dinner though.” 

“So we’re still on for basketball?” 

“Hundred percent.” 

“Good.” 

“Hey, you ready?” Mike asked, stopping behind Nate and clapping a hand on his shoulder. Lucas looked around and found that everyone else had already left the table to go to their individual classes, the chairs all pushed out awkwardly away from the table. 

He hadn’t even noticed. 

“Yeah just let me talk to Max real quick.” Nate said, jumping up. 

Lucas’s gaze followed his friend as he left the table, just managing to catch a glimpse of Will and El leaving the cafeteria before they disappeared down the hallway. Dustin was talking to Max next to the doorway while he waited for Mike, the two fully immersed in conversation. 

She glanced over at him, holding his gaze for less than _half a second_ before tearing it away and turning back to her conversation with Dustin as Nate reached her, a smile immediately spreading on her face. 

This was going to be a long day. 

_______________________________________

“So we’re going on route three this time. You remember where that was on the map from training, right?” Lucas turned to look at Max, dressed similarly to him in a black long sleeved shirt, jeans and motorcycle helmet, a dark bag on her shoulders. She still hasn’t spoken more than two words at a time to him, but he was trying to keep his cool, not let her know how much it annoyed him. 

“Max?” 

“Yep.” She said shortly, nodding without looking back at him. “Got it.” 

He threw his head back in frustration, pretending to look up at the blue sky through the dark tinted glass of his helmet and crumpling up the map in his hands as he bit down on his tongue to hold back the groan that he so badly wanted to let out. The paper crinkled so aggressively Max actually looked over at him, but he was too busy shoving the map back in his backpack to notice, or even _care_ frankly. 

He’d understood why she’d done it at first, she’d just needed some time to process all the new information like he had, which would’ve been normal, but now this was just getting ridiculous. 

A _week_ had passed and she still hadn’t said a word to him other than a yes or no answer or passing a message through Nate. 

She’d been so excited to see him again until he’d told her the _truth,_ which, he wanted to make very clear, she had _wanted_ to hear from him, had _asked_ him to tell her. He hadn’t just brought it up out of the blue. 

She’d promised him that it wouldn’t change the way she thought about him, but the second she heard what she didn’t want to, that promise had been broken almost instantly. She’d _never_ broken a promise. _That_ was what pissed him off the most. 

“Lucas…?” Max said softly. 

“What?” He snapped, not looking at her as he adjusted his backpack straps further up his shoulders. 

“Are...you ok?” She hesitated, wincing, like she knew it was a bad time and a really stupid question but had to finish because she’d already started. 

“Oh so _now_ you care about how I feel?” He said harshly, smacking a branch out of his way so hard it would’ve been funny if he wasn’t so mad. “Now that Nate isn’t here for you to give your full attention to.” 

“What are you talking about?” She asked icily, Nate’s name bringing out the protective fire deep inside her as she ducked under the same branch, stretched out across the path. 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He said, continuing to walk even when she stopped where she was standing. “You ask for the truth, but the second I tell it to you I’m suddenly the bad guy.” 

“I never said that!” 

“You didn’t have to!” He yelled, spinning around to face her, about twenty feet of the worn dirt path between the two of them now. “You didn’t have to say _anything_ to get your point across.” He couldn’t see her face through the mask, but he could guess by the silence she was either hurt or severely pissed, and based on the way her fingers flexed at her sides to restrain herself from making a fist he knew it was the latter. 

“You think I wanted to ignore you?” She asked, her tone just as hard as before. “You think I didn’t want to see my best friend after ten years?” 

“Nate’s already filled that spot, remember?” 

“I told you he’s not a replacement!” 

“Well it seems like it to me, ok! You act like the two of us are equal, but you didn’t have _any_ trouble avoiding me for the past week. Especially with him around.” 

“I _wanted_ to talk to you—”

“Then why didn’t you?” 

“Because I was scared, Lucas!” He felt some of his anger slip away at the sincerity in her voice, but not enough for him to back down. 

“That’s a first.” He mumbled, spinning around on his heel to continue walking in the opposite direction. He honestly didn’t care if she followed him or not. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She called after him, sounding truly curious, but he didn’t answer, just continued to walk down the route they had to take before the end of the day. 

He had a job to do, and if she didn’t want to do her part then so be it. 

After a while of walking and marinating in his anger, he realized he could still hear her behind him, her footsteps were softer and slower in the dirt as she kept her distance, but she was there. 

He knew it was her. 

He found himself listening more intensely than he usually did with Mike, just to make sure she hadn’t stopped following him. He wasn’t really sure _why_ he was doing it. 

Maybe he really _did_ care whether she was safe or not. 

Maybe he was doing it just so Nate wouldn’t kill him later. 

He didn’t know _why,_ he just knew that he _was._

A few hours felt like a lifetime now that she wasn’t even making an attempt to make any conversation, somehow worse than it had been the whole week she’d been ignoring him.

He focused on the steady rhythm of both his and her footsteps on the hardened dirt path, standing out against the almost silent forests.

 _Just say something._ He kept thinking, but he 

wasn’t sure if he was referring to Max or himself. 

_Be the bigger person, you know that._

_She started it!_

_Who cares? We’re not kids anymore._

_You haven’t seen her in ten years._

_Just talk._

The voice of his better self was telling him it wasn’t worth their friendship to keep this up, but the other was telling him that even after ten years _she_ was the one that had chosen to start, and she’d already made her decision. 

If he didn’t mean enough to her for her to try understanding what he’d gone through, then maybe she wasn’t worth his time. 

_Did he really want that, though?_

Finally, after what felt like centuries when in reality it had only been a couple hours, the screen on the wrist of his sleeve beeped, and he knew Steve would be calling to check in soon. 

“We should take a break.” He said without looking back, mentally mapping out the spot he and Mike usually stopped at, about half a mile down the path. 

Max didn’t answer, but when he looked back to where she was still following him about a hundred feet back, she nodded under the helmet, still looking towards the ground. 

So, he kept walking, still not saying a word until he’d found the little break of trees, two fallen logs sitting perpendicular to each other to create a type of sitting area under the canopy of shade. He dropped his backpack next to one of the logs, unclipping his helmet and pulling it off, breathing in the fresh natural air instead of the sweaty stale stuff inside the helmet. 

He wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his sleeve, his eyes flicking toward where Max still hung back, standing just at the entrance of the break and watching him, unmoving. 

“You can sit down.” He said, pointing to the other log. “Might as well, we’re gonna be here awhile.” 

She took a hesitant step forward, like he’d snap at her just for being too close, before sitting on the opposite log and following suit in pulling off her helmet, her ponytail now visible without it on. 

She still didn’t look at him. 

_What a freaking surprise._

“So are we just gonna avoid eye contact forever now?” He asked casually, unwrapping the straps of his glove on his wrist before tapping a few buttons on the hologram screen on his sleeve. Max rolled her eyes, looking up at him. 

“No.” She said, her voice weak and raspy from not talking so much but still annoyed. 

“So you’re gonna tell me why you hate me so much, then?” He asked, sliding to the next screen as he checked the body heat map of their surrounding area. So far there were only two red dots, which was good news unless they were looking for runaways specifically, today they were just scouting out the area. 

“You’re acting like I’m the bad guy.” 

“And you’re acting like _I_ am so I guess we're even.” 

“You just want everything to be fair don’t you?” She said sarcastically. “You just want everything to go your way now that big brother Steve’s made your life all perfect.” 

“Far from it.” He laughed bitterly. “I’ve had to actually _work_ for everything.”

“Don’t even start.” She shot at him. “You haven’t been on the _run_ for five years, being hunted. You didn’t lose everyone.” 

“I lost enough!” He said, his voice rising. “And while you were busy running and _leaving me behind_ I was trying my hardest to protect _you.”_

“I thought you were dead, Lucas!” 

“And I thought we’d still be friends!” He yelled. Max flinched at his words, instinctively turning her head away from him. He knew that was a knee jerk reaction from when she’d watch Neil hit Billy, because the fear had never really left. 

But she should’ve known that even mad like this, he’d never hit her.

Not in a million years. 

Somehow that made him more angry, because she didn’t trust him like she used to. 

“Guess we were both wrong.” He mumbled, pulling his backpack off his shoulder and dropping it at his feet, digging through it just so he didn’t hit the tree next to him. 

“Guess so.” She whispered, looking down at her dirtied boots as she started to play with the cuff of her shirt, a nervous habit she’d had since the first day he’d met her. 

It seemed that everything he’d know about her had stayed the same, all the little indications and clues, except for the fact that she wouldn’t trust him. He’d _tried_ giving her reasons, time and time again, but no matter how much he bent over backwards trying to assure her, it always hurt him in the end. 

That thought and the anger that came with it must’ve shone through in the way he started to rifle through his backpack harder and faster, because suddenly Max was apologizing. 

“I’m sorry, ok?” She said quietly. “I don’t want to lose you again.” 

“I’m sure.” 

“Would you just shut up and listen to me!” She burst, making him stop the searching through his bag. “I don’t want our friendship to be destroyed over some stupid fight!”

“Then talk to me, Max!” 

“I don’t know how!” Her voice broke. “I don’t know how to fix these things, ok? I was alone for so long before I met Nate and I don’t know how to just admit when I was wrong when it just blows right over in a couple days with him.” 

Lucas looked over at her, the mention of Nate’s name almost making him angrier until he’d realized what she’d actually said. 

“But I was. I _was_ wrong. And when you told me everything...how they used you and how they wanted _me_ I just—it _scared_ me. And I don’t know _why_ it did but every time I saw you I just thought about it and I didn’t want to have to face the fact that it was _true._ Because you’ve never lied to me, and I _knew_ you weren’t lying then.” She let out a breath, and Lucas didn’t say anything, because he knew this was one of those rare times when she was able to tell him everything, when she was opening up without hesitation because she just wanted him to know, as long as she wasn’t interrupted she could say everything she needed to. 

“I didn’t want to accept the fact that it was _my fault_ everyone I knew and loved had been getting taken away from me. I didn’t want to accept the fact that they’d sent you to me for a _reason,_ just for you to be taken away again, and that Nate could’ve potentially been the same way. I didn’t want to let myself acknowledge the possibility that you guys hadn’t ever really been my friends willingly. I wanted to think that you _chose_ to care about me, because I wanted so badly to believe that you, out of everyone, really _did_ care.” 

She looked up at him again, the little slivers of light shining through the trees above them highlighting her features with golden sunlight. 

“But I _know_ you did, because of the ways you’d show me. How you’d listen, or hug me or just talk me down from panicking, how you knew my favorite things even when I’d never even told you before. You could read my emotions without even trying and you protected me better than anyone ever had, and I knew that wasn’t an act, but thinking about how all of that had just been an experiment...it hurt a lot more than I’d expected it to.” 

She tore her eyes away from him once again, continuing. “I guess I just really didn’t want to believe that everything I’d thought about while I’d been alone was true.” 

“Like what?” He asked curiously, no bite behind his words anymore, just understanding, because he _knew_ what it felt like feeling like your whole life had been a lie. He’d supposedly been _raised_ by the very man that had been ruining her life, and he’d felt responsible. 

“Like I wasn’t good enough for you to stay,” she laughed bitterly. “Or that I was always meant to be alone. That everyone I’d ever get close to in my lifetime would just disappear one after another, because I was that much of a burden.” 

“You didn’t think you were good enough?” 

“I was seven years old and my whole family had been taken from me, there weren't a whole lot of other reasons to go off of. I thought I’d done something wrong.” 

“You didn’t.” He said gently. “You never did. It wasn’t your fault.” 

“I know.” She whispered, nodding, but she didn’t seem very confident. 

“No you don’t.” He whispered back, his detection side kicking in automatically. “You’re still holding onto it. You’re still scared of being left alone because of the abandonment issues—.” 

“No I’m not.” She said icily. “And I don’t have issues.” 

Lucas’s expression softened, and Max seemed to shrink away from him when it did, avoiding his eyes completely as he leaned forward against his knees. 

“I know you don’t want to accept it, Max but you do. I’ve seen the panic attacks. I heard how sincere you were that first day when you told Steve you wouldn’t leave Nate. And that’s ok. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you—.” 

“Then why do they want me so badly?” She asked, sounding a little more vulnerable than she’d probably wanted to based on the way she tried to correct it. “What’s so special about me?” 

“Do you really want me to tell you?” 

She hesitated, swallowing, as if she was asking herself the same question, but when she nodded she had a surety in her eyes he hadn’t seen in a long time. 

“They knew you could lead.” He started, thinking very carefully about how he wanted to approach this, because they were finally getting somewhere. “Believe it or not a _lot,_ if not _most_ of the boys wanted you to play soccer, wanted to play _with you,_ but they were scared of Troy. They were scared of what seemed like the bigger threat, but Brenner saw how easily you managed to get me to believe he was the bad guy, because I knew nothing except what you’d gone through. That’s why he took me back, because I believed you too well, and I trusted you too much, and I’d never trusted anyone before they’d wiped my memory. I was always too cautious, but suddenly I had a connection with you that he’d never seen me have before. He knew if you could turn _me_ over, you could turn anyone else that wanted to listen to you.” 

“Why did he want me if I would be against him?” 

“He thought if he could get you on his side, if _I,_ more specifically, could get you on his side, persuade you that what he was doing was the right thing, then you could win us the war.” 

“He wanted to use you to get me back?” 

He nodded. “I was the motive. He seemed to think that if he gave me back to you, you’d trust him.” 

“Even if I did, what use would it have done? I can’t lead an army.” 

“No, but everyone else we recruited would’ve followed the two of us, especially _you._ They would’ve trusted you. Imagine Troy as the other side of the war, we're scared of it, we’ll do whatever he says to survive, to not get on his bad side, but if we have a strong enough leader that’s not afraid to fight back—” He gestured to her. “—then we could hit back just as hard.” 

“Like the days I fought with him on the playground after you were gone.” She said. “Some of Troy’s posse was hesitant to follow him after I would pin him. Because they never got to see who would actually win, since the guards would drag us away.” 

“Exactly.” Lucas laughed happily. “Because you could’ve turned them against him.” 

“But they took my mom before any of that.” She said, clearly just trying to understand and not questioning him at all. “Why?” 

Lucas swallowed, because he’d been dreading this part. “I’m sorry, Max.” 

“Why did they take her?” She asked, playing with the watch on her wrist. _His_ watch. He’d given it to her ten years ago, had she really not taken it off all this time? 

Focus. 

He opened his mouth to answer her question, but then didn’t. He couldn’t find the words to say it. The _right_ way to say it. 

Max stood up from her spot, looking down at him. “Please Lucas.” 

“They thought she was stunting your growth.” He finally settled on, his voice soft. “They knew if they took her you’d mature faster, but at the same time you’d be unstable enough to trust the first person they sent in.” 

“You?” He nodded and she groaned, trying to run her hands through her hair out of habit but forgetting she had it tied up, her hands falling back to her sides. “So they were manipulating me from the beginning.” 

“Somehow they knew it was supposed to be you.” Max yelled out in frustration, kicking at the log and sitting back down, her face in her hands. 

Lucas knew he was supposed to say something that would make it better, but what could he possibly say?

“I’m sorry.” He tried, but it didn’t sound like enough. Far from it. 

“I know.” She said sincerely, not pulling her hands away from her face. “It wasn’t your fault.” 

“I know. But I know it doesn’t feel good, and I just gave you a lot of new information to take in…” 

“Yeah.” She laughed bitterly. 

He stood up without thinking, because walking over to her and crouching in front of her just felt so natural, like instinct was taking over from all those years ago. He set his hands on her knees, and she looked up at him, peering over her hands before letting them fall into her lap to see him fully. 

“I’m here if you ever need to talk to someone about any of it, you know that right?” 

Max nodded. “I know Luke.” 

_Luke._

His old nickname. 

He hadn’t heard that in a long time. 

She’d forgiven him.

And until now he hadn’t realized how much he’d really missed her. 

He smiled and she looked back at him, a similar smile spreading on her face as she laughed. _Really_ laughed. “What?” 

“Nothing.” He said sincerely. She smiled, looking down at her wrist again, her fingers fiddling with the watch again. Her eyes widened as she looked at it, and she started to take it off. 

“This is yours—.” She said, but he reached out, stopping her. 

“Keep it.” 

“What?” 

“You’ve had it longer than I have. I don’t need it.” 

“But...it was your favorite thing. You gave it to me so your promise couldn’t be broken.” 

“No, I gave it to you in case I didn’t come home.” He admitted. “Part of it was the promise but, I wanted to make sure that _someone_ would remember me if something happened...It scared me to think that no one would care if I died.” 

“I cared.” She whispered. “A lot. It always reminded me of you when I was having panic attacks, or when I missed you a lot more than usual. It always helped me calm down...I know that sounds really stupid because it’s literally a clock but—” 

“It doesn’t.” He interrupted. “Really. I understand.” 

“It was all I had left of you,” she continued, finding the confidence now that she knew he wasn’t going to make fun of her. “The thought of losing it scared me as much as when you disappeared.” 

“Then keep it. I don’t need it.” 

“You’re sure?” 

“I’m sure.” She smiled, putting it back on as his wrist buzzed against her knee. He pulled away from her, standing up and swiping the screen to answer the call. 

“Hey Steve.” He said automatically, knowing exactly who it was before he even saw the older boys face. 

“Hey bud, how’s it going?” 

“Good, we haven’t spotted anything or anyone so far—.” 

“That’s great, um, how soon do you think you could make it back?” Steve interrupted hastily. 

Lucas glanced at Max, who had the same look of confusion on her face he knew he was reflecting back at her. 

“If we run full speed without stopping maybe...an hour and a half? Why?” 

The next six words froze Lucas to his core. 

“I think we’ve got a spy.” 

_

He knew Max was behind him but he didn’t ever risk looking back. 

He’d hung up on Steve almost immediately, gathering up his stuff and running back the way they’d come before he could even pull his helmet back on. 

Pure adrenaline coursed through his veins as he scrambled up inclines and shoved his way through the undergrowth and dead, thorny bushes, and Max’s footsteps echoing against the solid group kept him moving. 

She’d told him everything, her worries, what she’d feared, how she didn’t want to lose him all over again, and somehow that was fueling him right now. 

He had to protect her and Nate. 

He had to. 

He wasn’t sure why he felt so responsible now, and maybe it had something to do with how he’d promised himself all those years ago, but he wasn’t going to let them lose their home. 

_His_ home. 

By the time they'd reached the tunnel again, Lucas’s legs were so tired and moving so fast he tripped over his own feet, almost falling face first into a block of concrete but luckily catching himself at the last second. 

“You ok?” Max asked, panting as she met him next to the first door, where he was scrambling to fit the key into the lock with his gloves on. 

“Fine.” 

“Okay, can we talk about this—?” 

“Spy. In our home. Find them. Or we’re screwed.” He said, pushing the door open and shoving his way in, pushing it further for Max before taking off down the next tunnel, their footsteps echoing as they ran through the dirty puddles lining the middle of the walkway, the dark murky water splashing the painted walls and eventually running back down to the dirtied floor. 

He scanned his hand on the almost invisible pad before he’d finished running, the elevator sliding open less than twenty feet away while he bounced on his toes anxiously. 

The two of them climbed on hurriedly without a word, the doors shutting and blanketing them in darkness. 

“Level 4. Headquarters.” He panted…but nothing happened. 

“Sh—where’s my keycard?” He asked, whipping his backpack around to the front of his body and popping the visor on his helmet open to search for it, a few objects clattering to the ground in the dark, followed by a string of cuss words. 

“I got it.” Max said calmly, pulling out her own card and stepping around him to swipe it, before pulling her hand away from his back as the box shifted and they started to descend. 

The place where her hand had been still burned on his back, and if he hadn't been so worried he might have acknowledged the fact that his mind kept wandering over to her even when he didn’t want it to.

They way she’d smiled at him back in the forest, how she’d followed him without hesitation both ways and how she hadn’t questioned anything he’d told her about Murkshore, because she knew he wasn’t lying. Even with him panicking she’d stayed calm and stepped forward to use her own keycard without asking what the heck was going on or why he was freaking out so much. 

He’d forgotten she’d even gotten that card. It seemed like a lifetime ago she’d been furious at Steve for not trusting her, but now, only a week later, the two of them were closer than he’d ever thought possible knowing the two of them personally. 

The elevator slid open, but before the two of them could step out into the hallway Lucas stuck his arm out to stop her mid-step. 

The lights were on, but only every other one, which was what usually happened when no one walked down the hallway for a long time, but after hearing what Steve had told them everything seemed extra suspicious. 

No one was around, no voices echoing from the cafeteria or the gym down the opposite hallway, it was like the entire place was empty. 

“I need your card again.” Lucas said, hesitantly stepping out into the hall, looking both ways and signaling for Max to grab the pistol she’d had since the first day she and Nate had been here. 

She handed the card over, pulling out the gun from the holster tucked behind her backpack and loading it with expert skill and technique that he’d taught her and Nate just a few days ago. Nice to know she had listened. 

He strode a few extra steps down the hall, stopping at a little metal panel on the wall that no one ever really seemed to notice. 

He unlocked it after swiping Max’s card, typing in Steve’s administration password and not caring if she saw and somehow memorized it that fast.

A map popped up, hundreds of little red-circled heat signals dotting the screen. 

“Floor 4.” He said, and the map shrunk and expanded until there were only two dots, the two of them. 

“We’re the only ones up here?” She asked. 

“Doubtful.” He answered, his eyebrows pressed together in thought. “Zoom out.” The screen obeyed Lucas' command, and another single small dot appeared as it pulled further out, this time a different color, bright blue instead of red. 

“Bingo.” Lucas whispered with a smile. 

“What? I don’t understand.” 

“Transfer.” He said without answering, lifting his arm to click the screen on his sleeve. 

“Transfer code required.” A robotic voice reponded. 

“463345.” Lucas said automatically, clicking a few more verification requests on his wrist, and within seconds the same screen showed in small, light blue hologram form above his sleeve. 

He closed the panel, shutting off the larger screen as he looked at his own personal map, turning to make his way down one of the intersecting halls near them. 

“What was that?” Max asked, slightly impressed as she jogged to catch up with him. 

“Those two red dots are us,” he said, holding out his arm to show her. “That blue one? He’s either got a tracker from somewhere other than here, or he hasn’t been entered into the system yet, meaning he’s never had, or never _will_ have a keycard.” 

“So couldn’t it be someone here?” 

“No, even without a keycard they’re still in the system.” He said, handing her card back to her as he said it, taking a sharp left turn down another hallway and almost losing her. 

“Just like you. The second Mike and I brought the two of you here you were scanned into the system, if you’d decided to leave like Steve said, you’d be removed automatically.” 

“So, the blue is the spy?” 

“Most likely.” 

“Where’s Steve? Why isn’t he stopping this?” 

“Probably trying not to make it obvious, wouldn’t want to scare them off and let them get away with whatever information they have. Besides, it could just be a mistake, so better for his number one guard to check rather than him and create commotion.” 

“You’re humble.” She teased. 

“Thank you.” He smiled, looking at the map again, following the blue dot with his finger as he traced over the holographic map. 

“But why not just confront them?” Max asked. “What if they left without him knowing?” 

“You’re asking the right questions.” Lucas laughed. “But right now the elevator is programmed not to let anyone in or out unless they leave under Steve’s approval. Our keycards are the only ones that would’ve worked until after classes. Right.” 

He took another sharp turn, this time almost knocking her over when he cut her off. 

“What if a spy is an inside man?” She asked. “What if they’ve gained Steve’s trust and this is just a long time thing and that dot is nothing.” 

“Oh it’s something.” He laughed. “It’s been pinned for having a tracker. Anyone from one of the settlements could easily find it.” 

“So how long has it been activated?” Lucas clicked a few buttons, reading over some information on his screen. 

“Two hours.” 

“So Steve called us right away.” 

“Exactly.” Lucas started to run, the blue dot starting to move quicker up the hallway away from him. Max didn’t ask anymore questions, just tried to keep up with him. 

The blue dot was now right around the corner, and Lucas exited the map, swiping the screen away into nothingness, expertly pulling his own pistol and whipping around the corner with his arms outstretched in one fluid motion, aiming at eye level straight at the person on the other side, half hidden in the shadows was they raised their arms held up over their head. 

“Don’t move or this is gonna be a lot worse.” He warned. The figure nodded, still not moving. “Max, cover me.” 

“Got it.” 

Lucas re-holstered his pistol, grabbing the boy by his arm and pulling his arm behind his back to limit his movement. 

He flinched when Lucas’s opposite hand moved up to grab his other arm, moving him into the light as he turned to look at him. “Lucas, wait, please I didn’t do anything, I swear.” 

Lucas’s grip slacked around the boy’s wrist, and Max lowered her gun. She couldn’t see his face, but she didn’t have to. 

She knew that voice. 

“Nate?” They both said, his name echoing down the empty hallways surrounding them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long to post. I kept telling myself I would post and then forgot so thanks to the person that reminded me on Instagram 😂  
> I’m excited to keep writing this and I have no school tomorrow so hopefully I’ll get the next chapter out soon. But I still want to make sure it’s quality and doesn’t suck 
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


	6. Games

_ Max’s POV _

“Max, do you copy?” Lucas' voice buzzed on her com, loud enough to somewhat drown out the sounds of her motorbike motor rumbling beneath her as she tore over the beaten forest floor, the sleek black exterior practically morphing to cut through the air around it. 

“I copy.” She spoke into her helmet, taking a sharp turn as she watched the two blue moving lines hologrammed into the visor. “Lost the target. Any input? Over.” 

“Just past the river,” Lucas spoke, his own bike rumbling in the back forgoing. “We’ll catch him at the bridge. Meet you there. Over.” 

“Copy that.” She smiled, cranking the clutch and shooting a small plume of smoke from the exhaust pipe as she sped up even more, swerving slightly to avoid the bigger rocks in the rarely taken steep path. 

“Smart.” She mumbled to herself, standing up on her footholds as her bike struggled to climb the hill. “Make your getaway hard.” 

“Spotted at the mile marker. ” Lucas’ voice echoed, urgency but also excitement in his tone. “What’s your 20, MadMax?” 

“Bridge is just up ahead.” She said, reaching the peak of the slope and leveling out onto the flat ground before it dropped down, a straight shot to the large bridge just at the bottom of the hill, stretching out over the canyon. “Straight ahead. Over.” 

“Copy that. Hang back, I’m close. Over.” Max pulled the brake, sliding to a stop and yanking at her handlebars to stop herself as the back wheel skidded through the dirt. 

She squinted down towards the bridge, scanning every inch of it through the dusty glass of her helmet, Lucas’ blue line slowly but surely moving closer to meeting hers. 

Her eyes moved from the fast running water to the cliff about half a mile downstream, dropping straight down into a waterfall whose roaring water could be heard even from clear up here on the hill. 

Her gaze traveled upstream, tracing the way the waves of the large body of water cut through the forest and disappeared into the mountains. 

She saw movement, her attention automatically snapping to the bridge below, her eyes tracing down the trails until they found two more sleek, black motorbikes identical to hers racing towards the old metal structure. 

“I’ve got eyes.” She said, pushing back up onto her bike. “I’m moving in.” 

“Max, I’m not close enough—.” 

“We’re gonna lose them across the bridge.” 

“Are you close enough to stop them?” 

She shrugged to herself, revving up the engine. “Guess we’ll find out.” 

She pushed herself over the edge, her bike quickly picking up speed as she raced down the opposite sides of the hill, keeping the other two bikes in sight, only about a quarter of a mile away from the bridge. 

“Are you able to cover me?” 

“Not much I can do.” Lucas teased. “I can’t shoot them.” 

“Why not?” 

“You wanna be the one to explain that to Steve?” 

“Nah. You’re right. Shoot ‘em later when no ones looking.” 

Lucas laughed. “You’re a psychopath.” 

“I prefer creative.” 

One of the riders glanced up the hill her way as she drew closer, turning to look towards the other, probably communicating through their own coms before the two of them split off, disappearing behind the line of trees just out of Max’s view. 

“They’re retreating.” She said. “I’m gonna secure the bridge.” 

“Go get it, Zoomer.” Lucas said, a happiness in his voice she’d learned she was only able to recognize when he was smiling, even though she couldn’t see him, though she didn’t have to. 

“Don’t let Nate hear you say that.” She teased. 

“It’s a  _ nickname, _ he hasn’t patented it.” 

She laughed, yanking at the clutch once again and gaining one more burst of speed just as she reached the bottom of the hill. 

“I’ve got you in view.” Lucas told her. She glanced at the hologram map in the corner of her visor, a stationary dot blinking in place to represent Lucas where he was positioned at the top of the hill. “Straight shot, go for it. I’ll cover.” 

“Any sign of them?” She asked. 

“None so far.” 

“Perfect.” 

_ Five hundred feet.  _

_ Four hundred.  _

_ Three hundred.  _

The bridge was slowly but surely growing closer and closer, the taste of victory just out of her reach—

But she heard it before she saw it— 

“Three o’clock!” Lucas yelled into the com, surprising her as she whipped around to see a rider tear past her at unbelievable speed and over the bridge, before the other exited the tree line on her other side, flying over a pile of hardened dirt and landing about a hundred feet in front of her, sliding expertly across the opening of the bridge and blocking her off from following. 

She yanked on the brakes, stopping just before hitting him but not stopping with enough balance to keep her upright. The bike pitched sideways, throwing her off and sending her sliding into the dirt about fifty feet away as its engine died. 

A dull pain exploded in her head when the side of her helmet hit the ground, making her ears ring and muffling the sounds of the other bikes and nature around her. 

She laid on the ground for a second, trying to catch her breath and gain enough strength back to use her arms, when a voice yelled back towards them, the other rider emerging from the opposite tree line on the other side of the bridge with a large colored piece of cloth in his hands, waving it above his head in triumph as he rolled to a stop behind his partner. 

“Got it!” 

“Game over.” A robotic voice echoed in her helmet, the same voice she knew had sounded in the other three boys' helmets. She punched the dirt below her with a groan, her gloved hand squeezing into a fist. She  _ hated _ losing. 

Lucas rolled to a stop beside her, his engine dying as he kicked down the kickstand and pulled off his helmet, hanging it on one of the handlebars and crouching down beside her. 

Beads of sweat rolled down his face from his jet black curls, somehow making his skin glow in the sunlight reflecting off the river blow them. As they traced over his cheekbones and jawline, Max allowed herself look at him, just this once, because she could get away with it with the helmet on. 

He’d gotten cuter in the past few months she’d found him again, little details she’d never noticed before becoming more prominent the longer she was around him. 

The same thing that had happened with Nate…

“You ok?” Lucas asked. 

She held up a thumbs up, finally rolling to her back to face the blue cloudless sky as she struggled to catch her breath, the wind still knocked out of her from the fall. 

“Sorry.” Nate called from his place on the bridge, pulling off his own helmet as Mike did the same beside him, both boy’s hair sweaty and slicked back so it wouldn’t get in the way under their helmets. “Didn’t think you were going that fast.” 

“I was  _ hauling _ down that hill.” She panted, unclipping her helmet and throwing it off to the side, sending it rolling in the dirt a couple feet away from Lucas as she ran a hand over her face and breathed in the crisp, fresh nature air, her chest rising and falling in exaggerated breaths at the abundant supply of air now available. 

“Good effort.” Mike said, waving the flag at her and Lucas. “But Nate and I are  _ still _ undefeated in Capture the Flag.” 

Nate laughed in agreement, giving Mike a high five. 

“Dude, save it for when she can actually fight back.” Lucas laughed, standing up and holding a hand out to help her up, pulling her to her feet. 

She didn’t even really have to try to pull herself up, he was strong enough, but when she pulled back against him she felt his hand tighten around hers and the muscles in his wrist strain at the pressure, adapting instantly as her feet found the ground under her with ease. 

“You ok? You wiped out pretty bad.” He whispered, giving her an out in front of the other two just in case she was actually badly hurt. 

_ Of course.  _

“Fine.” She answered honestly, subconsciously reaching up to touch the side of her head where her helmet had connected with the ground.

“Did you hit your head?”

“No—.” She started, but Lucas wasn’t stupid and she’d tried to get out of it before. 

“Look at me.” 

“I don’t have a concussion!” 

“Max, look at me.” He laughed. She groaned, stepping forward and allowing him to shine a small pen flashlight into her eyes as she turned towards him. She grimaced, turning away almost as soon as he turned the light off. 

“You’re good.” 

“I told you!” She exclaimed, rubbing at her eyes to try to get rid of the little white circle now clouding her vision. 

“Hey, I gotta check. Good run though.”

“Thanks.” She smiled, shoving his shoulder. “Where were you at? I was  _ carrying _ us that last half.” 

Lucas laughed, acknowledging her teasing but giving her a dirty look. “Hey, I was  _ close _ to their flag. I  _ know _ I was.” 

“Yeah except you weren’t.” Mike laughed. “We took it past the bunker in the south woods.” 

“I knew it!” Max said, turning on Lucas. “I  _ told _ you it was there and you didn’t believe me.” 

“Sorry!” He exclaimed, holding his hands up in surrender. “They hide it there  _ every _ time I thought they’d be  _ smart _ and change it.” 

“Reverse physiologically.” Nate smirked, tapping his finger against his temple. “Never know when or  _ if _ we’ll ever stop do you?” 

“We  _ both _ know you’re not smart enough to figure out those odds.” Max shot at him. “It was all Mike’s doing.” 

“Hey!” 

“Am I wrong?” 

Nate glanced back at Mike, who shrugged, before turning back to her. “...no.” 

“Exactly.” She laughed. 

Nate rolled his eyes playfully. “Whatever.” 

She couldn’t remember ever having this much fun back in Murkshore, without fear of someone being caught and taken from her all over again. 

Now, she was less than a week away from her seventeen birthday, with both she and Nate fully healed and out in nature with their best friends, riding motorcycles she and Lucas had fixed up for fun during their free time, competing just because they wanted to, not for their survival. 

And still, no one was here to stop them, they were safe.  _ Actually safe. _ For the first time in a long time. 

“We should get back.” Mike said, wiping off some loose dust as he checked the hologram screen on his wrist. “Dinner’s in about half an hour and we’re pretty far out.” 

“Yeah, thanks for making the boundaries an extra  _ three _ miles further than usual.” Lucas smirked. 

“Hey, it was more fun, wasn’t it?” 

“Can’t argue with you there. You guys go ahead. My bike was making some weird noises and I wanna check it out real quick.” 

Mike shrugged, tossing Nate the flag and pulling on his helmet, his visor still open as he talked. “Your loss. It’s pizza night.” 

He started his bike up, revving up the engine as he flicked his visor down and took off back into the forest, leaving a cloud of dust behind him. 

“Wait up!” Nate called after him, tucking the flag into the waist of his dark jeans and pulling on his helmet as he started up his own bike. 

“See you guys back at home.” He said, although he only looked at Max when he said it. She smiled, giving him a small nod as an indication that she’d be fine staying behind, before he took off after Mike down the beaten path. 

Max listened to their engines slowly fade away until they stopped echoing off the mountains surrounding them, before turning to Lucas. 

“So your bike’s making noises, huh?” 

“Uh huh.” He said innocently, unstrapping his gloves from his wrist and tossing them onto his bike seat. 

“That was your excuse to stay out  _ last _ week.” She smirked. 

“Yeah, well, they didn’t seem to notice.” He smiled, jogging over towards the large metal bridge. Max smiled, quickly following after him. 

He climbed out onto one of the metal beams hanging out over the water, sitting down and dangling his legs over the edge of the running water hundreds of feet below them, with nothing to stop him from falling. 

Max had come to learn he liked it that way, with no restrictions, no harness. He liked being free, not held back by anyone or anything, yet still respected the boundaries and wasn’t reckless, which she’d discovered was  _ very _ reassuring when she needed someone to count on. 

“You’re insane sitting out there.” She told him, leaning her shoulder against the giant metal bearings and folding her arms across her chest as she watched him. 

“You’re insane for not.” He said back, still looking out at where the water dropped off into oblivion, the waterfall hidden from their view but still roaring in their ears as it echoed through the valley below. 

“Why do you like it so much?” 

“Because it reminds me I’m not stuck there anymore.” He answered, almost instantly. She didn’t need him to clarify, she knew he was talking about the Lab he’d been taken back to all those years ago. The lab with an army he’d been forced to lead, all to protect her. “No one’s using me.” 

“I’m using you.” She teased, shifting her position to look down over the edge at everything below the two of them, her hand gripping the metal as an anchor. “To fix a bike so we can avoid responsibilities instead of being cooped up underground all day.” 

“That’s different.” He laughed. “I  _ like _ being used by you?” 

“Oh?” She questioned. “And why is that?” 

“Because I don’t hate you.” 

“That’s it? You don’t even  _ like _ me?” 

“Not yet.” He said, smiling over his shoulder. “We’ll get there someday.” 

“Very reassuring, Don Juan.” 

“As always.” He said sarcastically, leaning back against his hands, still looking out at the water. 

The sun was starting to go down now, but that didn’t stop the water from sparkling under the very little sunlight of the setting sun, ocean blue but at the same time glowing a greenish-teal color, the golden rays of sunlight stretching out over the waterfall and into the clouds of mist that hid the world beneath it. 

“Do you think we’ll ever be able to go out there?” Lucas asked suddenly. She looked down at him, expecting him to look back but of course he wasn’t. She lowered herself down to sit on the edge of the bridge, not clear out on the beam with him but still hanging her feet over the edge, the red of her Vans standing out against the colors of nature. 

“Out where?” She asked. 

_ “There.” _ He said, gesturing towards everything in front of him. “Just the two of us?” 

That last part caught her by surprise, making her heart skip a beat, but Lucas didn’t seem to think twice about it. He said it so easily, like he’d thought about it before… 

“Like...for a day?” She asked. 

“No like...to live. All of us? Maybe.” The sun was behind him, highlighting the sharpness of his cheekbones and jawline against his black tactical vest and long sleeved tech shirt, but at the same time outlining his profile into a silhouette as he looked out over the wide open vastness of nature, his eyes shining a golden chocolate brown, full of wonder as he stared ahead. She swore he’d never looked so good to her before. 

“I know it’s stupid—” he started. 

“No no no it’s not stupid it’s just...I don’t know.” She hurried to reassure him. “Maybe we could...someday, but I mean, we’re safe now, Lucas.” She swallowed down what she really wanted to say; that she wanted to go with him,  _ wanted _ to avoid reality and the past they’d both had to suffer through, but instead she forced the words down as she pulled her eyes away from him, keeping her mouth shut. 

_ Remember what you promised yourself.  _

“Yeah. I know.” Lucas said, sounding slightly disappointed. She felt guilty. He was sharing his dreams with her and she was shooting them down. 

That’s not what a best friend did. 

“Maybe one day we can just go as far as we can. See what’s out there.” She proposed. 

“Really?” He beamed, his voice full of excitement as he turned towards her, his hands braced against the metal below him to keep his balance. “Like...your birthday? Next week?” 

“How’d you remember that?” She asked, not able to hide the amazement and happiness in her voice. 

“Dude.” He laughed. “For  _ one, _ Nate has literally teased you about it everyday this past  _ month _ leading up to it, and two, I just  _ do, _ ok?” He gave her his signature smile, the one that was making her melt even though she was telling herself to stop.

“You sure Nate didn’t just jam it into your head out of annoyance?” 

“I’m sure.” 

She laughed, her eyes flicking from one of his eyes to the other. Why was he so cute? How was that even fair. 

“So can we?” 

“What?” 

“Go?” She looked over his shoulder, out at everything; the now pink and orange sky, the mist of the waterfall, the fog covering everything as far as she could see after the drop off, Lucas... 

She  _ wanted _ to go. She  _ wanted _ to escape again, and this time she wanted to do it  _ with _ him. 

“Yeah.” She whispered, turning towards him again. “Yeah let’s go.” 

Lucas smiled, a real genuine smile that she hadn’t seen in a long time, one that reminded her that everything was okay as long as he was here. 

“Hey, Max?” 

“Hm?” She hummed, looking back at him. 

“Uh...I’m—I’m...glad you found us. I, uh...I missed you.” Why was he so flustered? 

“I’ve been here three months now, Lucas.” She laughed, hoping to ease some of the tension he was feeling. “And  _ you _ found  _ us. _ Remember Mr Detective Boy?” 

“I know, I’m just...it was hard.” He admitted, tearing his eyes away from hers.

Her expression hardened at the slight change of his tone as she leaned towards him a little more, giving him her full attention. 

“Especially as a kid. I grew up  _ without _ you and I was just...scared  _ all the time _ and everyone I cared about was dying and it was all my fault and there was nothing I could’ve done to stop it—” 

“Hey.” She said, so incredibly gentle that he looked back up at her again, almost desperately. “You’re not alone anymore, and I’m not either. We’re together, ok? Just like we promised we’d be. It took awhile but we got here didn’t we?” 

“Yeah. Yeah I know.” He whispered. “I’m glad you’re home, Max.” 

“Me too.” 

It took her a moment to realize he was leaning closer, his expression a little more serious now. She wasn’t imagining the scenario in her head now, it wasn’t her thinking it while she laid awake in her bed back at the dorm while El slept soundly across the room, it was  _ him, _ it was Lucas. It was real. The sun was warm through her clothes and the metal was cold under her hand, and even though she was screaming at herself over and over not to do it, to remember what she’d promised to herself about not falling for either of the boys, it just felt so natural out here in the wide open nature, bathed in golden sunlight and not knowing what lay ahead to just lean back towards him and—

“Lucas, come in!” The two of them jumped apart, and Max felt her face go red hot as Lucas looked down at the transmitter on his wrist, bringing his hands away from the beam he’d been holding as balance to lean closer. 

“Yeah, I’m here.” He said, clearing his voice when it was an octave higher than usual, a clear sign he was either embarrassed or lying. 

“You guys figure the bike out yet? Your location hasn’t moved since we left.” Mike said. “Nate and I are a couple miles away from base.”

_ Oh. Nate.  _

“Yeah, yeah we just finished um, we’ll be back there soon.” He promised. “Don’t wait up.” 

“Wasn’t planning on it. Better hope you didn’t forget your keycard. Over and out.” 

Lucas swiped at the screen, making it disappear into midair to end the call, turning back towards her with a look that clearly meant they had to go. 

_ She was gonna kill Mike.  _

_ And then thank him.  _

Max stood up before either of them could really think of anything to say, watching to make sure he didn’t fall off the beam as he stood up, before she made her way back to their bikes. She heard Lucas doing the same, his footsteps rumbling against the old wooden bridge as he jogged after her. 

She leaned down to pick up her helmet from where she’d left it on the ground, the end of the game feeling like ages ago, when in reality it had only been about ten minutes. 

She wiped off the dirt and pulled the helmet on over her head, the padded inside sliding on comfortably and familiar as she clipped the strap under her chin. She made sure it was secure before she turned towards Lucas again, glad he couldn’t see how red her face felt when she looked at him through the reflective visor. 

She couldn’t deny that she’d thought about what could happen if...if she would just  _ do _ it, that she hadn’t imagined the possibilities. But she didn’t want to ruin what they already had; a ten year friendship that hadn’t been fully fulfilled and the newly built bond they’d formed in the past few months. Besides, there was still Nate…

_ But what about Nate? _

She wasn’t sure why the thought of him was holding her back. 

_ Neither one of them.  _

“Race ya back?” Lucas asked, his voice echoing through the com built into her helmet. He was standing next to his bike, handlebars under his gloved hands and his helmet on as he looked back at her, completely ready to go and hiding any possible awkwardness he was feeling much better than she was. 

“You’re on.” She said, her voice more normal than she thought it would be as it echoed back through the com, some of the awkward tension slipping away. She moved towards her bike, hefting it out of the dirt by the handles and getting the wheels underneath it just enough to throw her leg over it and start it up, the engine sputtering to life. 

“You want a head start?” She asked, the challenge in her tone back to her normal competitiveness. 

“As if, Mayfeild. We go on three.” He said, turning his own bike on and climbing onto it. 

“Ok, ready...three.” She yanked the throttle, tearing off down the path while Lucas called after her, before the sound of his bike gaining speed found its way through her helmet as she sped deeper into the forest. 

__

“Anyone else find it  _ absolutely _ ridiculous,” Lucas asked, setting his tray down as he and Max sat down on opposite sides of the table, the others either already done or halfway through their food. 

“That there’s pieces like that.” He pointed across the table to Max’s piece of pizza on her tray, which was decently sized, maybe even slightly bigger than normal, nothing wrong with it. “And then there’s this.” He held up his piece by the crust, which was smaller and skinnier than his hand was and shriveled up in a very unappetizing way. 

“That’s what happens when you're late.” Mike laughed, taking a bite of his banana cake. “I told you we had to leave.” 

“My bike was wack!” 

“Mhm ok. You sure you two weren’t making out?” Mike asked, gesturing between the two of them with his plastic fork. 

_ No thanks to you.  _

“Mike!” Max and El said at the same time, the older of the two trying to hit him in the back of the head but failing to anticipate his dodge and counter strike that probably would’ve sent her backwards off her chair if Nate hadn’t caught the edge of the colored plastic and pushed her back up. 

“Nah, I think the girl serving food just hates me.” Lucas said cool I. 

“Or she has a  _ massive _ crush on you.” Nate teased, flicking the cap of his water bottle across the table and taking a swig. 

“Don’t flatter him.” Max said, tapping the bottom of the bottle and spilling some water down the front of Nate’s shirt, which he returned by splashing on her. “He might try something.” 

“And if I succeeded?” Lucas smirked. 

“It’d be an absolute miracle.” Mike said for her, leaning across Nate to high five Max. 

“I don’t understand you two.” Will spoke up from beside Dustin. “One minute you’re enemies and the next you’re ganging up on Lucas.” 

Max shrugged, smacking Nate’s hand away and scooting her tray further down the table when he reached for her tater tots as revenge for spilling water on him. “Lucas is easy to gang up on.” 

“Agreed.” Mike said through a mouthful of pizza. 

“I hate you all.” Lucas laughed, popping a piece of watermelon into his mouth. 

“No you don’t.” Mike argued. “I think you like one of us a little more than others.”

Lucas reached across the table for him, his chair scraping against the floor as he lunged forward, accidentally knocking Mike’s bottle of milk into Nate’s lap in the process. 

“Dude!” Nate yelped, standing up so quickly his chair almost fell over, trying to wipe away the wet spot now in the middle of his jeans. 

The whole cafeteria seemed to go silent, all eyes turning towards them as Nate stood seemingly isolated from the rest of them. 

Lucas froze, pulling back from Mike. “Sorry.” He said, the sudden tension in the air making the whole table stay quiet even when the rest of the cafeteria continued their conversations, waiting to see what would unfold between the two boys. 

Max knew things had been awkward between the two of them ever since she and Lucas had come back from their scouting trip after a call with Steve to find Nate randomly wandering the upper level alone, assuming he was an enemy. 

No one else knew about what had happened that day, just that one minute the two of them were best friends, but one little mistake and the next could set off an argument between them. 

Max could still clearly remember Lucas shoving Nate up against the wall and questioning him. She could remember the way the blue fabric of Nate’s shirt had been twisted into Lucas’s hands, and the betrayal that had been in Lucas’ eyes. She remembered how quickly the two boys had gotten into a shouting match before she’d been able to separate them and calm them down. 

It took longer to convince Nate it had all just been a misunderstanding than it had to assure Lucas that Nate wasn’t a traitor. For some reason Nate wouldn’t let it go as easily, which wasn’t like him. At all. 

“It’s fine.” Nate said tightly, although sounding sincere as he reached for the napkins dispenser in the middle of the table and wiping at the milk stain. 

Lucas caught her eye, giving her an apologetic look. 

She shook her head slightly, letting him know not to worry. 

It would all blow over in twenty minutes anyways. 

“We gotta hurry,” Nate said, quickly changing the subject as he glanced up at the digital clock built into the wall above the doorway of the cafeteria. “If we wanna get an arena before Jake and his buddies take it we gotta get in there.” 

“Go ahead and get it.” Lucas said, nodding in slightly confused agreement as he turned back to his food. “I’ll meet you there when I’m done.” 

“We’ll come too.” Mike said, gesturing between him and El. 

Nate nodded, reaching around his chair to pick up his garbage filled tray and dumping it at the trash cans next to the doors as the three of them disappeared down the hall towards the gym. 

“Paintball?” Dustin asked. 

“Yessir.” Lucas said, hardly acknowledging Dustin as he shoved yet another tater tot into his mouth. “You gonna eat that?”

Max looked down toward where he’d gestured toward her tray, picking up the paper plate and sliding her pizza toward him. “Go crazy.” 

“Maxine Mayfeild you’re a lifesaver.” Lucas said. 

“Yeah, yeah I’ve heard that before. And don’t call me that. Hurry up.” 

“Will and I are gonna go hangout in the Rec Center with Steve.” Dustin said, standing up. “Come find us if you ever get sick of shooting each other.” 

“Never will.” Max smiled. 

“Figured.” 

“Say hi to Batman and Robin for us.” 

“Roger that.” Dustin saluted. 

Lucas waited until the remaining two boys were out of earshot before he spoke again, swallowing the remains of his pizza. “What was that?” 

“What?” She asked, confused. 

“Nate. He just...snapped.” 

“I don’t know.” She admitted, shaking her head as she looked around the cafeteria just for good measure. 

She knew for a  _ fact _ Nate wouldn’t be happy about the two of them talking about him behind his back, even if it  _ was _ to help him. 

“He’s been kinda stressed about Tech lately.” She said, leaning closer to him. “Maybe it’s that?” 

“We both know it’s not.” He laughed. She scoffed in agreement. “Does he usually get mad like that?”

“No.” She whispered. Nate never lost his cool, even when he got annoyed it wasn’t  _ this _ bad. Never. “Is he like this back at the dorm?” 

“No.” Lucas said immediately. “I’ve never seen him get pissed. Not really. He’s always joking and playing around. The only time he’s “mad” is when I wake him up in the morning and he doesn’t want to get up. That’s why I’m so confused.” 

Max sighed, leaning back in her chair. “I don’t know what to do.” 

“It’s not your job.” Lucas said gently. 

“Yes it is.” 

“You’re the same age, Max. He’s not your little brother or anything. He’s practically an adult.” 

“Yeah, but I promised myself to protect him.” She said, looking up at him. “He’s my responsibility. Always has and always will be.” 

Lucas’s expression softened, almost like he understood what she meant, where she was coming from. She was glad he was one of the few people that did, because she wasn’t sure she could’ve explained it to him if he'd asked her to. It was complicated even for her. 

“I’ll be more careful.” He promised. “I’m usually the one that triggers it.” 

“It’s not your fault either. Something else is going on.” 

“It might be. I see him the most, living in the same room and all. I might just be annoying him being around him all day—” 

“Dude.” Max laughed. “You’re supposed to be a detective.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He teased. 

“You’re supposed to  _ know _ things. I was with him every minute of every hour of every day for  _ five _ years. It’s not him getting annoyed just by being around you.” Lucas laughed, and Max smiled. 

“I’ll see if I can get it out of him later,” she promised. “In the meantime let’s just go play paintball and shoot each other and just forget about it for a little while. Okay?” 

“Deal.” He said, nodding in agreement. Max watched as he stood up, his plastic chair scraping across the linoleum floor beneath them, barely audible with all the surrounding conversations and activities circulating around the cafeteria. 

She watched as he grabbed both of their trays from the table, one in each hand as he made his way over to the trash cans next to the doors. 

She stood up to follow him, a smile on her face as she continued to watch him. 

It wasn’t even that important of an act, taking her trash, because she could’ve done it herself, but it was the way he hadn’t even had to think about it, or asked her if she wanted him to take it that made her smile, because he hadn’t changed the way he treated her even after ten years, even after all the suffering he’d gone through, he was still the same caring boy she’d learned to trust as a scared little kid. 

_______________________________________

_ Nate’s POV _

Nate glanced over at Max, standing with the shoulder of her vest pressed up against the wall on the opposite side of the doorway as she listened. 

They could hear the other teams battling just on the other side of the wall, the sounds of artificial gunfire and shouted commands reaching their ears over all the noise even through their helmets down here at the bottom of the hill. 

The arena wasn’t huge, since room was limited underground, but three connected rooms littered with secret passages leading into artificial trees and up cliff sides was good enough for them.

Nate shifted his position, the hexagonal-pads lining his shoulder and down his arm pressed against the concrete wall shifting noisily as they scraped roughly enough to get Max’s attention. 

“Go?” He mouthed, even though she couldn’t see his face, gesturing to the open doorway. 

In response she pointed at him, then waved a gloved hand above her head before pointing at herself. He’d only been playing paintball for a little less than three months now, but he’d learned the signals decently enough to understand what Max was trying to tell him: cover me. 

He signaled back that he understood, shouldering his gun more securely against his arm. The weight of his tactical vest was heavy against his shoulders and against his chest, just enough for him to focus in on his surroundings and realize he was competing, adjusting his mindset to game mode; win or die trying. 

Max signaled for him to follow her, waving her hand forward, before moving through the doorway, gun raised and ready. 

Nate followed after her, scanning the area and pointing his gun at anything his gaze decided to focus on, subconsciously taking small, strategically placed steps in the packed dirt. 

He followed as Max crossed one of the small, old, rotting wooden bridges and disappeared behind one of the large, rectangular barricades set up here at the base of the hill. 

She crouched down, signaling for him to do the same as he rounded around the corner, taking one more sweep of the area behind them before he obeyed her orders, propping himself up on one of his knees with his gun balanced between his feet as he watched her, his eyes locked on hers through the glass. 

_ See anything? _ She signaled. 

_ Nothing.  _ He signaled back. 

_ Stay here. _ She told him, pointing at the ground.  _ Watch. _

Nate copied her signal, pointing at the visor of his face mask before giving her a thumbs up to show he understood. 

He stood up a little more, starting to move further down the barricade when Max reached for his arm. 

She held her hands up as if asking where he was going, and he pointed at himself and then to the far end of the wall, before pointing at her and the ground right in front of her. 

_ I take left, you take right.  _

She nodded in understanding, moving back to her position. 

Nate stayed crouched, moving to a lower point in the wall to scan the rest of the heavily forested area around them. The sounds of battle still rang around the arena from the top of the hill, and from the voices he was pretty sure Mike and Lucas were both still in, probably capturing the cliff-side and taking the high ground again. 

“Always the same strategy.” He mumbled to himself He peered through the scope attached to the top of his rifle, scanning the higher areas lining the upward slope of the hill where other teams had ambushed them in previous rounds before. 

_ Someone always has the high ground. _

All areas were clear, except station Five, as he and Max liked to call it, manned with a sniper dressed in dark camouflage from his face mask to his combat boots hanging off the end of the ledge he was laying on. 

Nate backed up behind the barricade again, pressing his back up against the large wall and turning his head towards Max, who was still scanning her area. 

“Max.” He hissed, but obviously she didn’t hear him under the mask. “Max!” 

He waved his arm in an attempt to get her attention, but he was in her blind spot. Searching the artificial forest floor, he grabbed a nearby pebble and tossed it towards her. It connected with the back of her tactical vest, and Nate huffed a laugh as she jumped nearly a foot in the air as she whipped around to face him. 

_ What? Did you see something?  _

_ Come here.  _

She stood up from her spot, her eyes moving quickly around the area got closer to him, crouching down beside him. 

_ Sniper. _ He signaled. 

_ Where? _

He held up five fingers, gesturing over his shoulder toward the posts positioned above them. Max looked through her own scope, before nodding at him to show she’d spotted him. 

He held up his thumb and pointer finger, mimicking a gun. 

Max shook her head, making a slicing motion across her neck.  _ Not yet. Somethings wrong.  _

She was right. 

The playing field had gone quiet, unusually quiet. The kind of quiet where you can physically  _ hear _ the silence. 

Nate glanced over his shoulder, checking each and every bush and behind each and every tree that his eyes could reach. 

He knew he could outwait their enemies, they’d be the first to make a move, the first ones to become impatient. 

“Come out and play.” He muttered. 

Right on cue another player stepped around one of the smaller surrounding barricades and shot towards the two of them, the sounds of the compressed air bursting from the barrel echoing in the silent forest so loud it was almost deafening. 

Max ducked instinctively from her crouched position, even when the bright pink paintballs exploded  _ three _ feet above their heads against the large concrete slab, the paint dripping down the wall towards them from bursting on impact. 

“Noah.” Nate mumbled to himself. The boy had terrible aim, and it wasn’t very hard to identify his bulky build under all the armour. 

Nate took aim and squeezed the trigger expertly, almost robotically, his brain working mechanically on its calculations and his instincts taking over as three splatters of bright yellow paint exploded in an almost perfect triangle directly in the center of the boy’s vest. 

Noah threw his hands up in defeat, holding his gun above his head to let everyone know he was out as he walked towards the exit point. 

Max nudged his shoulder, giving him a thumbs up.  _ Nice shot. _

He felt a smile spread on his face, but there was no other way to respond other than giving her the same gesture back. He felt a wave of confidence wash over him, now that Max had complimented him and had approved of his skill. He could take down everyone else and not even break a  _ sweat _ as long as he knew she was proud of him. 

She moved around in front of him, giving him the signal to freeze, peering up the hill through her scope before turning around towards him again. 

_ He’s gone. _ She told him. 

_ What? _

She pointed up the hill, where station five was now deserted, the sniper gone, no trace of his absence. 

“What the—.” 

_ See him? _ He signaled. 

_ No. I can track? _

He nodded in agreement, and Max continued to move, the two of them slowly but surely picking their way up the silenced hill, the suspiciousness of the quiet making him uncomfortable, but he trusted Max’s leadership, so he stayed low, kept lookout and followed without doubting. 

_ Stop.  _ He froze as soon as Max’s hand went up, his finger instinctively squeezing the trigger as he panned out the area. 

They'd reached the platform, hidden perfectly into an alcove of trees, just low enough to have a perfect lookout of the hill below them and just high enough to see the top above without being seen. Unless—

_ Cliff. _ Max told him, keeping her palm flat as she raised it up above her head, which wasn’t an official signal in paintball but one that had been made up and understood between each other. 

He ran a gloved finger over the small splatter of neon green paint on one of the branches of the tree supporting the platform. It slipped off the bark and clung to the fabric fairly easily, meaning it was fresh, and based on the trajectory it had probably hit something, more specifically a  _ person, _ and had ricocheted this way. 

_ Another sniper? _ He asked. 

Max kneeled down to point at the little circular dents in the wooden platform, which on closer inspection he realized were from shots that hadn’t exploded; probably shot from a better gun and with stronger paintballs than the ones in the shed, which could only be two certain people. It  _ also _ could mean that the victim had been too close to the shooter, which meant they were positioned just above right at…

“The cliff.” He said under his mask, catching on to what Max was saying now. She nodded, then drew the letters L and M in the air, before pointing up towards the cliff side just outside the treeline they were currently taking cover under. 

_ Of course it’s Lucas and Mike. _ He thought to himself. It all added up; the neon green paint, the same strategy of taking the cliff, the skill it would’ve taken to take out a sniper from this angle...

_ Stay low. _ Max told him. She spun her pointer finger in a circle, letting him know to meet at the rally point and to split up so that they could cover more ground. 

_ “But stay close.” _ He remembered her telling him before the round had started.  _ “Because if one of us is ambushed the other needs to be able to step in.”  _

The two of them carefully climbed down from the platform, their shoes scraping against the bark as they slid down. 

Nate wiped his hands off on his pants, then reached up from where he stood on dry ground, offering to help Max down, but she ignored his hand and jumped down beside him from higher than he’d been, standing up to her full height beside him with the smuggest look on her face even though all he could see was her ocean blue eyes glowing under the dark canopy of the trees. 

She didn’t signal anything but he got the message: “don’t need your help.” 

He held his hands up in surrender, and Max nodded proudly, not anticipating his next move as he roughly shoved her into the bushes by her shoulder, her stumbling almost enough to make him burst into laughter. 

She lunged at him once she’d gotten her feet back under her, the two of them having a silent shoving match, with their shoes scuffing against the dirt as the only noise passing between them. 

_ Ok, stop.  _ He finally signaled, holding his hands up in front of him, his rifle hanging loosely from his right, pointed towards the ground and not at her. 

_ Win first.  _

Max glared at him for a moment, before nodding, giving him one last shove just to prove she was still in control and not him. 

An empty shot rang out through the quiet forest, seemingly coming from the cliff side above them, an indication that the other two boys were getting bored, or just cocky and were convinced they were going to win. 

“Yeah right, buddy.” Nate muttered. 

_ Split. _ Max signaled. 

_ I got right, you got left? _

_ Yes.  _

He gave her another thumbs of, saluting her as he stepped backwards and slipped into the trees. 

He saw her shake her head as he turned away, and if she hadn't had the mask on casting shadows across the glass he was almost  _ positive _ he would’ve seen her rolling her eyes. 

He kept his movements slow and silent, staying close to the natural cover as he moved closer and closer to the treeline, Max doing the same on her side, half hidden in the bushes with her camouflage gear. 

She glanced over at him as they reached the clearing, pointing up toward the cliff in front of them. 

Nate crouched to get a better look, the top of what he could see of the cliff looking unusually empty for Lucas and Mike being the last team in. 

No lookouts, no ropes rappelling down the face, nothing. 

We’re they out?

_ I don’t see anything.  _ He signaled to Max. 

_ Nothing.  _

Something cracked in the woods behind them, snapping both their attention back the way they’d come. 

_ Move forward.  _ Max said.  _ Stay close.  _

Nate took a hesitant step forward, then another, his gun trained in front of him and on nothing else, ready for any sneak attack one of the boys was planning. 

The noise had sounded fairly close, but from the looks of it there hadn’t been anything close to this area in awhile, no broken twigs, no footprints, no misplaced leaves. 

But then again…

Lucas was good at hiding his tracks—

Suddenly his legs went out from under him, and he heard the sound of compressed air escaping a barrel as several neon green blobs pelted his arms and the back of his vest. 

_ Out.  _

He swore under his breath when his head hit the ground so hard his mask fell off, tumbling somewhere into bushes. He instinctively raised his hands over his head as several more shots rang out into the air around him, probably Max fighting back, but his vision was too blurry to register it right now. 

The ringing in his ears subsided slightly as the game horn sounded, and Mike and Lucas emerged from the shrubbery, totally free of paint stains as they held their guns above their heads in victory. 

_ Of course. _

Nate found his feet were bound by some kind of cord, one of Lucas’s  _ stupid traps.  _

_ Idiot.  _

He sat up, tearing off his gloves and throwing them to the side as he started working at the cord, trying his hardest to ignore the boys laughing in triumph behind him, exchanging high fives as Max trashed talked back. 

The cord was  _ unusually _ strong, and Nate felt his vision go red as it broke the skin of his palm because of how he was yanking at it; thick, red blood spilling onto his hand and making his job  _ that _ much harder when it soaked the cord and forcing it to slip out of his grasp. 

Sounds started to fade away as he yanked harder and harder, not really feeling the pain in his hand over the anger inside of him. 

“Cmon!” 

“Need some help with that?” Lucas asked, crouching in front of him. His mask was gone and his hair was sweaty under his camouflage bandana tied across his forehead.

“No.” Nate snarled, pulling at the chord once again, digging it deeper into his skin. “Get away from me.”

“Ok, but you don’t seem to be getting anywhere with that—“

“No, really?!” 

“Nate seriously. Stop.” Lucas said gently, pulling his injured hand away by his wrist and pulling a folded knife out of a pocket on his vest, flipping it open and cutting the cord away easily. 

As soon as his legs were free Nate shoved Lucas back by his shoulders, leaving a bloody handprint on his vest and sending the knife somewhere into the underbrush as the older boy stood up again, the two of them nose to nose. 

“Guys.” Max warned. 

“You think you’re smart with those traps?” Nate asked. “You really gotta cheat that bad?” 

“I’m not cheating.” Lucas growled, his hands squeezing into fists at his side. Being accused for something as stupid as cheating was what Nate had learned got under Lucas’s skin. So, so very easily. 

“Hate to break it to you, but extra equipment is cheating,  _ pretty boy.” _ Lucas shoved him backwards, closing the space between them just as quickly. 

_ “Don’t call me that.”  _

“Hit a nerve, Sinclair?” 

“Hey guys, cmon stop. It’s just a game.” Mike said, but Nate couldn’t really hear his or Max’s objections over the roaring anger in his ears. Besides, he was on a roll. 

“Trying to impress someone, are you? Is it all for your daddy Steve or it is Max?” 

“What do you think you’re accomplishing here,  _ Walker?” _ Lucas seethed, stepping even closer, challenging him. Nate didn’t care he was slightly taller, that just meant he’d fall harder. He stood his ground, glaring back with the same intensity. 

“You’re playing dirty, Sinclair.” 

“And you’re playing  _ weak.” _ Lucas retorted. Nate would’ve hit him, he  _ would, _ he’d raised his arm to do it, but suddenly Max and Mike were between the two of them, pushing them away as the next group of players started to crowd the arena. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Max hissed once she’d dragged him far enough away, helmet gone and her hand still wrapped around the fabric of his t-shirt sticking out of the top of his vest as she looked up at him, shoving him backwards and making him stumble a little bit. 

“He started it.” He said, a little embarrassed when the words actually came out of his mouth, mixed with the surprise he had at how easily she’d pushed him, and wonder of where the strength had come from, but he couldn’t focus on it, the edge in his voice enough for her to snap back. 

“Don’t give me that crap, Nate.” 

“You saw him lead me into the dang trap!” 

“Yeah, and I also  _ clearly _ saw that he didn’t break any previously established rules and that he  _ helped you get out of that trap.”  _

“You’re on his side just like  _ always _ aren’t you?” 

Max raised her eyebrows in challenge, folding her arms across her chest. “Say that again?” 

Nate bit his tongue no matter how much he wanted to yell out all the thoughts swimming around in his head, instead staring back at her with the same annoyance as before. 

He knew in the back of his mind that she wasn’t defending Lucas just because, and he also knew she didn’t  _ always _ side with him, but she’d defended him more than once when she should’ve been on his side instead. He was her  _ best friend, _ and she hardly ever agreed with him. 

“That’s what I thought.” She said when he didn’t challenge her. “Things have been tense between the two forever now but smaller and smaller things keep making you explode and now it’s not just Lucas you get pissed at anymore so  _ what _ is going on?” 

“I don’t know, maybe it was that he  _ tackled _ me and accused me of being a spy!” He said sarcastically. 

“That was months ago, Nate! And you had a  _ tracker _ planted on you!” She reminded him. 

“But you believed him!” 

“No.” She said firmly, taking a step closer to him. “I didn’t. I knew then and I know now that you weren't a spy, and  _ you _ know you’re not. I’m not an idiot, Nate I’ve spent everyday with you for the past seven years. I know when something is wrong, so what is it?” 

“Two thousand five hundred and fifty two days.” He mumbled. 

“What?” 

“It’s not seven years yet. It all started two days before your birthday. There’s still three days and then it’s seven years.” Max stared back at him dumbfounded, clearly not really sure how to reply to that. 

He didn’t know how to explain to her that all this anger wasn’t just about Lucas. It was  _ her. _ It was her not trusting him and siding with Lucas. It was her not listening to him. It was her spending every waking moment of everyday with  _ Lucas. _ It was always Lucas. Never him. 

She was drifting away from him and Lucas was the one taking her with all his stupid impressive skills and his stupid smooth words and his stupid natural athleticism and his stupid looks. 

Nate saw the difference in the way Max looked at the two of them. 

He’d been paying attention in Detective Work. 

Her pupils dilated slightly when Lucas spoke and her pulse sped up after she’d been around him. She liked him. It was obvious. 

Besides—

_ He wasn’t stupid.  _

  
  


His hands squeezed into fists as his side as he looked over her shoulder, and Max recovered from her shock enough to glance back to see Lucas doing the same over Mike’s, looking away when she caught his eye. 

“Look.” She said, blowing out a breath and looking back at him with her expression calmer than before. “Maybe we should stop playing competitively for a little bit and go do something else. Ok? Calm both of you down awhile and then we can talk.” 

Nate looked from Max to where Mike was talking to Lucas, who either was way calmer than he was or was just better at hiding it. 

It pissed him off that Lucas was so  _ perfect _ in everything he did, in every aspect of his life. He was the top Soldier since he was seven years old, and it didn’t change even when he’d escaped, he was a tech  _ master _ and  _ flawless _ with his detective work without even trying. It pissed him off how much everyone admired him and looked up to him and it pissed him off that he himself looked up to Lucas. It was hard not to. 

The guy was frickin perfect. 

“Nate?” He looked back at Max again, her gaze focused on him and almost pleading. He felt the anger drain away, because he’d never been mad like this before, and when he stepped back and looked at how he was reacting, he realized it scared him a little bit. 

Ok fine,  _ a lot. _ But he didn’t know how to stop it, or  _ why _ it was even happening, but somehow Max made it all better. 

“Ok.” He whispered, looking back towards the other boys and then back at her, nodding to show he understood. The worry that had clearly shown in Max’s expression dissolved, and she smiled at him, relieved. 

Suddenly all the pain of the paintballs and the cut in his hand caught up with him, shooting a sharp ripping sensation up to his wrist and leaving throbbing areas where he was sure there were round-shaped welts. 

He winced, raising his hand up to look at it, catching Max’s attention, her eyes widening slightly at how red-stained his palm was. 

“You’re such an idiot.” She mumbled, ripping off one of the colored pieces of team fabric tied to her vest and lifting his hand up to wrap the cloth around it. 

He didn’t sense anymore anger in her words when she said it, her fingers brushing against his palm in gentle motions that made his heartbeat speed up as she tied the fabric off, the yellow cloth immediately staining itself a dark, crimson red. 

Max’s hand lingered where it was holding onto his wrist for a moment too long before she dropped it back down at his side, giving him a small grateful smile now that he wasn’t acting insane. 

And maybe it was the smile—

Or the  _ guaranteed _ concussion he got from hitting the ground so hard messing with his head—

Or the way all of her attention was now trained on him and  _ not _ Lucas—

It didn’t matter what it was, because whatever the reason had been, it made his stomach erupt with butterflies. 

_ Crap.  _

_______________________________________

_ Past (Still Nate POV)  _

“So you add the one to this side.” Max explained, leaning over Nate to point at the paper on the table, his pen hovering above it in his hand as he listened. 

“Here?” He asked, pointing towards the equation Max had written for him on the sheet, barely visible now under the candle light and other scattered messed up and scratched out problems around it, but he was going to solve this one himself. He was determined. 

He glanced down at the numbers again:  _ 47+33 _

It was easy and he knew he was supposed to know how to do it, but the boys’ school didn’t bother to teach them simple math. He’d been a little embarrassed to admit it to Max, but she hadn’t teased him like she usually did. She’d offered to teach him, which he hadn’t expected but wasn’t going to refuse. 

“Yeah.” She said with a smile. “You’re getting it. Now you just add those two numbers together.” Her finger traced the other column of numbers as she spoke, showing him the next step. He leaned over the paper, adding the two numbers up in his head. 

“And the one?” He asked, looking over his shoulder at her. 

“Yeah and the one.” 

He bit down on his tongue in concentration as he wrote, his numbers shaky and lopsided, but still legible. 

_ 1 _

_ 47 _

_ +33 _

_ —— _

_ 80 _

“Is that right?” He asked, his brows pressing together in concentration as he mentally double checked his work. 

“Yeah.” She told him, a sense of pride shining on her face brighter than he’d ever seen from his mom. “See it’s not that hard.” 

He smiled, looking down at his work, the clean, now correctly solved problem standing out against all the mistakes, and somewhere deep down he felt the same pride on Max’s face growing inside of him, because he’d  _ done it. _

“Good job.” She told him, patting him on the shoulder as she stood up straight again, moving around to the other side of the counter and sitting down on her own stool across from him. 

“Can I do another one?” He asked, leaning against the island. 

“We’ve been doing this for an  _ hour, _ Nate.” 

“Yeah, but I know how to do it now.” 

“It’s late. Ok? You have to go home soon. We can do more tomorrow.” 

“One more.” He insisted. 

“Nate—.”

“Pleeeeeease?” 

“Ok! Fine.” She leaned across the counter, pulling the paper closer to her and taking the pen from his hand, scribbling down a few more numbers and pushing it back towards him. 

_ 9+1 _

“Max that one’s too easy.” Nate complained, pushing the paper back to her. 

Max shrugged, folding her arms across her chest and sitting back. “Not my problem.” 

“Cmon.  _ Everyone _ knows that’s ten. That’s just like adding another year to your age on your birthday.” 

Some type of emotion flashed across her face, one he couldn’t identify, before she hung her head. “Yeah. I—I know.” 

Something in the way her tone and body language changed told him he’d said something wrong. 

“What?” Max looked up at him, but didn’t answer. “What did I say—?” 

“Nothing.” She said quickly.  _ Too quickly.  _ He backtracked on his words, rethinking through everything he’d said. 

“Too easy? No you’re smarter than me  _ obviously _ it was easy. Adding another year to your birthday…” 

Max swallowed, her eyes dropping again, and it clicked. It clicked in the worst way possible, his heart in his throat and his stomach completely empty. 

“Is it your birthday?” He asked. 

“No.” She insisted, but it wasn’t very convincing. “I-I mean yes, it is but...don’t worry about it—.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” It was 9:30 pm, the end of the day and he hadn’t heard anything about it until now. He could’ve done  _ something. _ Max looked up at him, but didn’t really meet his eyes. 

“I...I don’t know.” She whispered, her fingers tracing along the indents in the wood below her hand. “I just remembered, actually, but it’s not like it matters anyways—.”

“Of course it matters—.”

“No, it doesn’t Nate! It’s just another day. It’s just another reminder that it 's been another year since…” her voice broke and she stopped tracing the lines. “Just another reminder that everyone’s gone. I don’t care about it, ok? I don’t.” 

Nate stayed silent as she took another shaky breath, regretting the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. “If you don’t care why are you getting emotional.”

“I’m not!” She snapped, almost instantly. He flinched, his hand subconsciously tightening around the pen still in his grasp and catching her attention, her eyes staying glued to it a moment too long. 

“Sorry.” She whispered. He hadn’t heard that before, the words taking him by surprise. Granted she’d only been allowing him to actually  _ talk _ to her for two days but still, that was new. 

“I’m just still...hurting, I guess.” She tried to explain, her voice strained, like it was hard to express her emotions. “I know I’m not supposed to take it out on you but it’s hard not to when I haven’t really had anyone else to take it out on for a while so...” 

He hesitated, choosing the way he approached her carefully this time, instead of just saying something without thinking. 

“Is it about Lucas?” He asked. 

Her head stayed down, glued to something on the other side of the table, her hands, her feet maybe even the stool, but she nodded, choking out just enough words to confirm what was causing the pain. 

“Yeah, I miss him.” 

She wasn’t going to cry, he could tell just by the way she was avoiding his eyes and how tense she was that she wasn’t going to allow herself to at least until he was gone. Until her birthday was over and she was all alone again. 

He didn’t want that. 

“Well uh, I know I’m probably not a good enough replacement for him but...happy birthday, Max.” 

“Nate…” 

“Don’t say you don’t care. I know that a little piece of you was still hoping everything would change.” 

“It’s not worth celebrating if you don’t have anyone to celebrate it with.” She whispered, neither confirming or denying his statement. “It’s easy to pretend that nothing is changing and that it’s always been this way and that no one will care if I don’t.” 

“I care.”

“You shouldn’t.” She wasn’t saying this just for attention, from the look of pain on her face he could clearly see that she really,  _ actually _ believed it, which made everything worse.

“Why not.” He pushed. 

“Because you don’t even know me!” She exclaimed. “You know nothing about me.” 

“I know enough to know that you’re  _ not _ the kind of person that should have to be alone on their birthday.” 

“Not like it’ll be any different from the past three years.” She snapped, but even though her words were hard and even he could sense the pain underneath it all. 

He wanted to stop that pain, but he didn’t know how. 

“Hey—.” 

“I don’t  _ want _ to celebrate it, Nate. It just reminds me of everything and everyone. It...it reminds me of Lucas.” Her voice broke on the last sentence, specifically on a certain name he hadn’t heard spoken out loud from her more than once. 

Somehow, as if he’d known her his whole life, he knew she  _ wanted _ to talk about him, about Lucas, she wanted to get the weight of losing her best friend  _ and _ her family off her chest, and for someone to understand, but she wasn’t going to do it voluntarily. He had to keep pushing her. “Did he celebrate with you a lot?”

Max shook her head, her words sounding less forced and uncomfortable but somehow even sadder when she spoke.“I only knew him a year before he was taken but...it was still the best birthday I’d ever had, just because he wasn’t doing it because he  _ had _ to. He did it because he  _ wanted _ to, and just felt so safe and...and happy and...loved.” She shifted her position on the stool, her shoulders slumping a little more than before. “But now he’s just...gone. Just like that. He’s not coming home and I just...I don’t want to remember it anymore.” 

“Don't just forget about him, Max.” Nate said softly. “Don't just push away the happiness you felt when he was here.” 

“Why not?” She laughed bitterly. “He’s not coming back and I’ll never see him again so what’s the point in remembering if it just hurts too much?” 

“Hey, listen to me.” He said, leaning closer. “I know it’s only been two days since the bombing, and I get that it still stings and it’s still hard to think about and to register, but you don’t  _ want _ to forget him. I know you don’t, because I know how I felt after my dad and Silas were taken. I  _ know _ how scary it feels to lose someone, but if you just forget about them then doesn’t that just mean that they meant nothing? That all of it was worthless?” 

“No. Lucas meant everything…” 

“Then don’t forget about him. Don’t forget about all the memories. Remember how happy and oblivious you were when he was here and just hold onto that. I’m never gonna let you be alone on your birthday ever again, starting now, ok? But don’t forget Lucas.” 

She smiled, small, but genuinely happy and relieved and so many other things he could name. 

It was the relief of having someone. 

It was the sadness of missing your favorite person in the whole world and the fear that the bad things would continue to happen. 

But it was also clarity, reassurance that she wasn’t alone anymore, that Lucas hadn’t just been a figment of her imagination and that she’d really had felt  _ that _ happy at one point in her life. 

Nate meant what he’d said, and he knew what promises meant to her. He’d only really known her for three days, but he knew their friendship was going to last way longer than he could now comprehend. 

_ Day 3 and counting.  _

_______________________________________

Lucas and Nate walked back to their dorm without a word, the sound of their shoes thumping against the carpet and the keys on their lanyards jingling with each step the only sounds that passed between the two of them. 

After the paintball mishap they’d showered, changed, and watched the others play ping pong before they had all gone to get ice cream from the cafeteria before it closed, but still, for some reason Nate still found himself glaring a hole into the back of Lucas’s head as he followed him down the hall. 

Without a word Lucas stepped up to the door, slipping the key into the lock and twisting it to the side, before pushing the door open. 

Nate moved to walk through the darkened doorway, but Lucas seemingly had the same idea, the two of them both hitting one side of the door frame and knocking their shoulders together in the middle. 

Nate took a deep breath to control himself from exploding as they both looked up to glare at each other, equally annoyed, before Lucas pressed forward and ventured further into the dark room, letting Nate flip on the light switch so that they didn’t have another shoving match trying to decide who got to eliminate the darkness. 

“Look.” Lucas said, turning around where he now stood in the kitchen area, having walked further than he meant to without really thinking. “I don’t know what happened back there at the arena but I’m sorry for whatever I did.” 

Nate scoffed from when he sat on his bed, pulling off his hoodie. “That’s not a real apology, Lucas.” 

“Dude, I’m trying here.” Lucas exclaimed, holding his arms out and letting them fall back down to his sides, his palms slapping against his jeans. “I’m sorry for existing? I don't know what you want me to say.”

“I want you to say you’re sorry for cheating.” Nate said, standing up again. He wasn’t going to give Lucas a height advantage, not in a million years. 

“I didn’t cheat.” Lucas growled. “I didn’t even bring anything into the arena other than our gear. I made the trap from the resource delivery that was dropped into the game.” 

“There was no signal that there was a delivery the entire game.” Nate said. “I’m not stupid.” 

“Mike cut it off as soon as the package landed at the top of the cliff side.” 

“You still took my feet out from under me like I was an animal you were hunting for sport.” 

“Well seeing the way you’re acting, I wasn’t very far off.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“It means you have no control!” 

“You want me to show you know control? No one’s here to stop me this time. I'll hit you right now.” 

“So you only allow yourself to be in control when Max is around, is that it?” Lucas retorted. “Can’t let her see the real side of you, huh?” 

“I’ll kill you.” 

“Try me.” The two boys stood facing each other, their hands balled into fists at their side and each daring the other to move first. 

“This is getting ridiculous.” Lucas spoke up after an uncomfortably long silence. “Things didn’t used to be this heated.” 

“Yeah, well…” Nate shrugged, picking up the mini football they’d stolen from the gym that was laying on the foot of his bed, turning it around in his hands. 

“Is it because of the tracker thing?” Lucas asked curiously. He’d caught Nate saying something about it to Max back in the arena, but he wasn’t sure what it had been. 

“No.” Nate said evenly. 

“Then what is it?” 

“I don’t know, ok? I don’t know but sometimes you manage to do just the  _ right thing _ at the right time to piss me off beyond my tolerance level without even having to try.” He tossed Lucas the football causally, like he wasn’t thinking about it and it was just natural. 

“Why!” Lucas laughed bitterly. “What am I doing?” 

“I don’t know!” Nate exclaimed, taking a deep breath and running his hand through his damp hair from the showers. “You’re a good guy Lucas. You really are. And I  _ want _ you as a friend, not an enemy, but sometimes I just want to smash your face in.” 

Lucas threw the ball back to him. “Same here. About the friend thing...not the smashing my face in...well maybe sometimes—anyways. What are we gonna do we do about this?” 

“I guess we just..try to get along?” Nate suggested. “And if we can’t do it for ourselves and each other then for Max at least?” Lucas nodded in agreement, holding his hands up for the ball again. 

Nate passed it back to him, the sound of the leather hitting his hands echoing around the now silent room. “Agreed. We don’t put her in the middle anymore. If we have a problem with each other, we tell each other, not her.” 

Nate held his hands up as Lucas threw the ball back. “Deal.” 

“Wanna watch our fight on the security footage?” Lucas said with a smirk. 

“And see me kick your butt again? Absolutely.” 

“Oh, in your dreams, junior.” 

The two of them dropped down onto the couch, Lucas’s computer already open to the security system he’d hacked into last week. 

“You know, with sparring training you think you’d be able to throw a decent punch.” Lucas teased, searching for the right paintball arena amongst the cameras. 

Nate turned towards him, hitting him in the back of the head with the football, and the two of them laughed like the fights between them had never happened. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter is kinda boring and not very descriptive but I wanted to finish and get it posted so if I somehow make it better I may repost later this week.   
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so excited to write this series. For those of you that were reading Road to Success I’m sorry I haven’t been posting that. I’ll promise I’ll come back to it but I don’t have any inspo for it rn.   
> I read about Nate in Runaway Max, and I actually loved his character, so I figured I’d incorporate him into a story.   
> He’s actually based off my best friend, so that’s how I’m imagining him. He’s gonna be a lot cooler in this than Runaway Max too.   
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!


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